Ziggy Stardust (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
ziggyplayedguitar) wrote2020-08-01 07:26 pm
ziggyplayedguitar) wrote2020-08-01 07:26 pm
Entry tags:
The Elephant in the Room
Things were unbelievable. Ziggy was high on life, so much so that even his cocaine use diminished. Reduced to something at a recreation, instead of life sustaining. A mere week and his drinking was all but gone, except whiskey in his coffee, always.
They'd come to a routine. Ziggy recording, Hiroki training, sharing meals together. They both could cook and that was unexpected, though Ziggy couldn't place why he found it odd. Importantly, Hiroki indulged Ziggy's craving for unending contact. And the sex! When they touched it didn't stop until they were falling asleep, worn out by the desperate need for each other. It was unrestrained as they abandoned themselves to each other. Someone was getting close to satiating his desire for sex and intimacy. It wasn't all day like Ziggy had imagined he would need, daily, perhaps but the idea that it didn't need to be so all consuming to be satisfying was new to the Anthean.
And he didn't have to hide. Since Hiroki returned, Ziggy hadn't put his contacts back in. He could let the Anthean part of himself be exposed, be safe with it known, and, if he was honest with himself, it seemed that Hiroki treasured him more because of it. There was perhaps something to be said for acceptance he could never find on Earth. That acceptance went both ways. Ziggy accepted the fact that his lover was a dead clone, but the Anthean had never seen him as just a clone anyway.
Those thoughts brought questions that had Ziggy glancing up at his lover from where they lay on the couch together. They needed to talk about the elephant, or rather giant robot, metaphorically in the room with them.
"Hiroki?" He asked quietly, not really wanting to disturb him while he read.
They'd come to a routine. Ziggy recording, Hiroki training, sharing meals together. They both could cook and that was unexpected, though Ziggy couldn't place why he found it odd. Importantly, Hiroki indulged Ziggy's craving for unending contact. And the sex! When they touched it didn't stop until they were falling asleep, worn out by the desperate need for each other. It was unrestrained as they abandoned themselves to each other. Someone was getting close to satiating his desire for sex and intimacy. It wasn't all day like Ziggy had imagined he would need, daily, perhaps but the idea that it didn't need to be so all consuming to be satisfying was new to the Anthean.
And he didn't have to hide. Since Hiroki returned, Ziggy hadn't put his contacts back in. He could let the Anthean part of himself be exposed, be safe with it known, and, if he was honest with himself, it seemed that Hiroki treasured him more because of it. There was perhaps something to be said for acceptance he could never find on Earth. That acceptance went both ways. Ziggy accepted the fact that his lover was a dead clone, but the Anthean had never seen him as just a clone anyway.
Those thoughts brought questions that had Ziggy glancing up at his lover from where they lay on the couch together. They needed to talk about the elephant, or rather giant robot, metaphorically in the room with them.
"Hiroki?" He asked quietly, not really wanting to disturb him while he read.
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Hiroki just wants Ziggy. Right now. Closer. Closer-
Yes- please-
And he won't be embarassed that Ziggy sees just how much Ziggy desires him, because Ziggy knows that already.
He can only hope that out there in the world, they won't crush into some planet or some star, but right now, he can't bring himself to think about it much, now.
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"Please..." It's all that he can muster right now. Grabbing a hand full of hair, Ziggy moans as he arches his back. Hiroki's own emotions getting the better of the empath.
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Hiroki wants Ziggy, now, more than anything. And Ziggy's desires get through their connection, too, so now everything is so much, it's almost too overwhelming, and he wonders if he's gonna pass out, before he remembers that this is all in their souls right now, so, what would that even mean, passing out right now??
He grabs Ziggy and kisses him roughly, willing himself not to pass out.
You're mine. I love you, Ziggy, and you're mine. Never forget.
There's no room for embarassment for him, right now, he's just going to take Ziggy as roughly as Ziggy would allow, right now...
Hiroki can be flustered about it later. Right now, the desire's just overwhelming.
Let me feel all of you. I want everything. And I'll give you everything I have. Always. I promise. I'm yours. Do what you will with me, always, I-- Zigg---
While still kissing Ziggy, maybe biting a little, too, he pushes his cock into Ziggy, hard.
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I'm yours. Take me... please." Ziggy starts begging, pleading for more aggression. He feels like he's melting and then gives over all of his control to Hiroki. The biting is intoxicating. There's a cry of pain and excitement as Hiroki takes him and then his body arches into his lover. He wants this so desperately. Don't.. don't stop... please.
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Why'd I stop? I've told you, I'm yours. Yours, Ziggy.
Of course he'll continue, after he catches his breath. Breath? Well, it's surely not about the air, but still. Of course thinking is limited that way.
Things are limited, and that's why, when they're limitless - well, he knows from Shiro that Shiro had to take care to make sure not to go insane in Black's Quintessence. Had to take much care in order not to lose his sense of self. Shiro had told him that, because now that Hiroki's remaining essence is in Atlas, it might, with time, be a similar experience for Hiroki. But that was after weeks, months. So, for now, Hiroki doesn't need to focus too much. Though of course there are moments when he needs to seriously focus in order not to lose his sense of self, that's true.
Besides, here and now, he's quite sure that even weeks from now he'll surely have Ziggy to ground him in Reality if needed. Is that selfish? Probably not, because Ziggy doesn't want Hiroki gone, either.
You love me, Hiroki thinks, right now, despite himself, with wonder and awe. He wouldn't say that outloud, but here, he can't help it.
But that's neither here nor there, any cares about losing himself or not, as right now, that's something to think of months from now. Not now. Besides, for all Hiroki knows, he might stop existing long before something like that might happen.
Right now, there's Ziggy-
Yours, Hiroki thinks loudly, now nipping gently at Ziggy's neck. No matter what. Call me, and I'll be here with you. Anytime.
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There's a roughness he's craving, to be taken and claimed and owned. Ziggy doesn't know why he's feeling it but he's desperate for it. He wants Hiroki to ... well he doesn't really know because there are only raging emotions and little thought.
His whole spirit is tangling up with Hiroki's, filling in and healing the cracks it finds, twisting their essences into a tighter bond. He will be the tether for his lover, the energy that sustains him if he must. Especially if recharging his lover means hours of mind blowing sex, cuddling and otherwise just indulging in the other's company.
I've loved you .. maybe since I met you Ziggy didn't exactly believe in love at first sight but if it did exist, Hiroki was the closest he ever got to it.
And those little love bites, Ziggy moans as his neck arches to make it easier.
I'm yours.. here.. in the real world.. anywhere. He mumbles the words between gasped breaths. THis isn't going to last long. He feels light headed from the sex and the emotions and the connection.
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Hiroki's overwhelmed by now, but he'll try, so that Ziggy never doubts his passion. He'll--
I believe you, Princess.
I want you to remember, I love you. I cherish you, and I-- if anybody ever attacks you again, like they did in your home Reality, I'll protect you with my life. That's a promise. I will, Ziggy.
He's dazed now, close to losing consciousness, which, over here, means that the bond between Atlas and the pilot (Ziggy) is weakening slightly, temporarily, right now, and so, soon, as part of all that, Hiroki might drift away deeper into Atlas's infinite Quintessence in order to rest. It's just-- apparently White was right, Hiroki is overexerting himself, a little-- so he might disappear for a bit, deeper inside, unless Ziggy just tethers him here calmly, without much more activity on the clone's spirit's part now. Because the bond with Atlas isn't the only bond between the two of them, and so-- he might yet stay here awhile, if Ziggy... yeah.
Ziggy--I'm yours...
Yes, it sounds... right. He's still free, so it's not wrong. It's not something to avoid, even though he had avoided it, at first, because of her.
But no, it's different with Ziggy. He can give himself to Ziggy and still have his own full freedom. He can feel that, now. This is right, for him. Yeah...
Yours...
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I.... Ziggy starts but the sleepiness and nervousness stifles the words at first. Though, soon they come back, quiet and drowsy. I'm yours. You.. you should ask me.
Not at this moment per say but Ziggy was feeling it distinctly. There was a yes lingering in there among the other thoughts. This was his lover, his partner. He wanted the others who found their way to his bed to know he was taken and happy. He wanted...
All he can do is hold Hiroki as he relaxes and though tired is still feeding energy into his partner. I love you. I love exactly what you are... and loved you even when you didn't know who you are."
He mumbles it happily before cuddling up to sleep. Even if Hiroki disappears he needs to sleep before he can wake up in the real world. He needs to rest.
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There's a screen next to him now, and on it is written, I'll ask. Soon. I love you forever.
H.Sh.
Allura comes in through the door which leads to Atlas's corridor. She's blushing a little, and smiling in such a way, it's obvious she's stopping herself from giggling.
"I'm not interrupting any intimate conversation, am I? I only wanted to ask you, Ziggy Stardust, if you're in a need of a meal."
"I can also wormhole us somewhere, if there's anyplace you'd like to go to. You might not know that yet, but only Altean Alchemists can create wormholes in these Realities."
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"I don't want anything." There's bite to his voice and sorrow. "Leave me alone."
He turns away from her to stare out into the distance. He can feel the happiness lingering on her and it makes his hurt seem all the more sharp. Instead of paying attention to Allura he asks the Atlas, remembering to think in pictures as much as possible, to take him to whatever Hiroki's favorite part of this universe is. He wants to see that right now.. or rather it gets him closer to what he wants anyway.
He looks back to the screen and types in it. "I'll be here when you wake. I'll always be here when you return."
Then he only wants to fold up in his sadness like someone would curl up in a blanket on a cold night. He wants to wrap himself in it, drown in it for awhile.