The Elephant in the Room

[ziggyplayedguitar]

Things were unbelievable. Ziggy was high on life, so much so that even his cocaine use diminished. Reduced to something at a recreation, instead of life sustaining. A mere week and his drinking was all but gone, except whiskey in his coffee, always. 

They'd come to a routine. Ziggy recording, Hiroki training, sharing meals together. They both could cook and that was unexpected, though Ziggy couldn't place why he found it odd. Importantly, Hiroki indulged Ziggy's craving for unending contact. And the sex! When they touched it didn't stop until they were falling asleep, worn out by the desperate need for each other. It was unrestrained as they abandoned themselves to each other. Someone was getting close to satiating his desire for sex and intimacy. It wasn't all day like Ziggy had imagined he would need, daily, perhaps but the idea that it didn't need to be so all consuming to be satisfying was new to the Anthean. 

And he didn't have to hide. Since Hiroki returned, Ziggy hadn't put his contacts back in. He could let the Anthean part of himself be exposed, be safe with it known, and, if he was honest with himself, it seemed that Hiroki treasured him more because of it. There was  perhaps something to be said for acceptance he could never find on Earth. That acceptance went both ways. Ziggy accepted the fact that his lover was a dead clone, but the Anthean had never seen him as just a clone anyway.

Those thoughts brought questions that had Ziggy glancing up at his lover from where they lay on the couch together. They needed to talk about the elephant, or rather giant robot, metaphorically in the room with them. 

"Hiroki?" He asked quietly, not really wanting to disturb him while he read. 

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[ziggyplayedguitar]

The climax almost takes Ziggy's consciousness. Hiroki is not the only one feeling extreme fatigue. He curls into his lover holding him and smiling.

I.... Ziggy starts but the sleepiness and nervousness stifles the words at first. Though, soon they come back, quiet and drowsy. I'm yours. You.. you should ask me.

Not at this moment per say but Ziggy was feeling it distinctly. There was a yes lingering in there among the other thoughts. This was his lover, his partner. He wanted the others who found their way to his bed to know he was taken and happy. He wanted...

All he can do is hold Hiroki as he relaxes and though tired is still feeding energy into his partner. I love you. I love exactly what you are... and loved you even when you didn't know who you are."

He mumbles it happily before cuddling up to sleep. Even if Hiroki disappears he needs to sleep before he can wake up in the real world. He needs to rest.

[making_sacrifices]

Ziggy will probably wake up outside, in the physical world, whenever he wakes up.

There's a screen next to him now, and on it is written, I'll ask. Soon. I love you forever.

H.Sh.

Allura comes in through the door which leads to Atlas's corridor. She's blushing a little, and smiling in such a way, it's obvious she's stopping herself from giggling.

"I'm not interrupting any intimate conversation, am I? I only wanted to ask you, Ziggy Stardust, if you're in a need of a meal."

"I can also wormhole us somewhere, if there's anyplace you'd like to go to. You might not know that yet, but only Altean Alchemists can create wormholes in these Realities."

[ziggyplayedguitar]

It takes time before he wakes up, rubbing his eyes. It takes even more time to remember that Hiroki isn't here. That's when he sees the message. His fingers reach out and touch the scream, running over the letters. The longing and separation hurts. It causes him to cry, not sob, only tears running down his cheek. He can't help feeling cheated but there are things he hasn't said. All the binding and energy sharing is going to make it harder and harder for Ziggy to be separated from Hiroki. He always wondered how his mother endured so long away from his father, now those thoughts were back. How was he going to live like this where a cold screen was replacing the voice of his lover when he wakes?

"I don't want anything." There's bite to his voice and sorrow. "Leave me alone."

He turns away from her to stare out into the distance. He can feel the happiness lingering on her and it makes his hurt seem all the more sharp. Instead of paying attention to Allura he asks the Atlas, remembering to think in pictures as much as possible, to take him to whatever Hiroki's favorite part of this universe is. He wants to see that right now.. or rather it gets him closer to what he wants anyway.

He looks back to the screen and types in it. "I'll be here when you wake. I'll always be here when you return."

Then he only wants to fold up in his sadness like someone would curl up in a blanket on a cold night. He wants to wrap himself in it, drown in it for awhile.