Intervention Needed

[ziggyplayedguitar]

[Describes the events from Hiroki leaving until approximately a week after meeting Shiro]


He had left unannounced and that was fine. He'd heard from his parents that Hiroki had met both of them so the first few days of absence was expected. Ziggy knew his parents were intense to deal with, especially if you weren't used to open minded people. His mother could be harsh. Those few days dragged into a week and Ziggy brushed it off. Everyone left once they got in his bed. It seemed unrealistic now to believe that someone might have been different. He turned to others, throwing himself into sex with whomever would have him.

That got old and it didn't satisfy the itch he had. He wanted the man who had pinned him to the bed with wild abandon. The man that was nowhere to be seen. He looked for Hiroki for a time, growing ever more angry with the abandonment. He tried to write music but he was too upset to stay still or think straight. Eventually, he snapped and the anger turned to grief and loneliness. While he didn't have the same ideals as the other man, the concept of always having someone nearby that was known and available for intimacy had its attractions. That was gone now.

Then the visions started, or maybe they were wild fantasies made up by his mind. It was hard to say but the feeling of Hiroki being lost and frightened seeped into his thoughts. It plagued him because not only did he want the man's physical presence and attention, he also knew he was vulnerable. The visions wouldn't stop. He rarely slept as it was, now he wasn't sleeping at all. He'd been awake for weeks straight.

It hurt and Ziggy turned to Gin and cocaine. Unlike humans, gin was an anesthetic to Antheans. It numbed the mind, the body, the emotions. Ziggy started drinking slowly, numbing a little, but the feeling was addictive. Soon he was drinking three, or more bottles, a day, so much that he barely moved. He couldn't care too. He paired the drinking with more cocaine than anyone should snort. Finally, there was some peace but the moment it started wearing off he would hit another bottle, do some more lines.

Then, he met Shiro and found out that Hiroki was dead. Not dead the way he was last time, but dead and someone else had taken his body. They had dumped the intellect, as far as he could tell, into a metal automaton and somehow expected Ziggy to be placid and understanding. There'd been a fight, something that the rockstar had never done before. He remembered swooning from stress and waking up with a swollen hand. Presumably, the swelling was due to hitting the man repeatedly. It made him feel nauseous to think about what he'd done and yet, some part of him wanted to hit Shiro more, to hurt him until he felt the same level of pain. This was a dark place for an Anthean, a dangerous one.

The cycle of extreme addiction went on. No one checked in on his isolation. He was writing and angry over a lover. Locking up in ones house was to be expected. However, Ziggy had fallen into a hole of endless near comatose existence. A whole week he didn't eat, lost weight. At this point he just laid on the floor in the living room. A mirror of cut lines beside him and several gin bottles in various states of being emptied. He was too subdued to move. Barely breathing, barely coherent and certainly not caring about it. His body was limp, to weak and too drugged to even pick up a gin bottle.

He kinda hoped he'd just fade away here. No more stress of trying to save the Earth, no more fear of death, no more abandonment, no more nothing. Just blissful non-existence. Not exactly death. He didn't want to die. He just didn't want to experience anything any longer.

Comments

[making_sacrifices]

How did Chulatt manage to get inside the Ziggy's house? Don't question it, he has his ways and is very smart!

He's very small, he can get into many various openings, duh. Don't question the genious.

Anyway, there's, if Ziggy's not too aware of his surroundings, now a small, blue mouse on Ziggy's face.

The small, blue mouse, suddenly, in its mind, and sharing it with Ziggy, expresses a complete disgust at Ziggy for apparently forgetting to wash himself. What a dirty Ziggy.

Being dirty is bad for health! Chulatt frowns, and sneezes at Ziggy. And, yes, Ziggy, this mouse is tranferring thoughts and feelings. As one does.

[ziggyplayedguitar]

There are any number of ways for a small mouse to get into an older building and find Ziggy. He's unconscious but his mind is active.

"I don't care!" The words are coming from his mind, slowly, like they are leaking out through mud. He's actually in the midst of a dream of sorts, just laying beside Hiroki, sleeping, just being held. The way he's laying on the floor follow what is in his mind.

There's resistance to wake from the dream and a sense he'd prefer to lay here until he withered away rather than face being awake. His mind is full of pain, depression, and a sense of loss.

[making_sacrifices]

That's not very nice!

Chulatt bites his finger.

[ziggyplayedguitar]

With all the gin in his body, Ziggy is completely numb from the anesthetic quality it has for Antheans.

The pain doesn't even register in his mind despite the bite pricking up blood.

[making_sacrifices]

Something's wrong with this person. Biting a finger wakes one up! Everyone knows that.

Chulatt squeaks, and then, he

sends an image, a memory - because he was there - directly to Ziggy's mind if he can.

So, Ziggy might see (and hear, and smell) this, directly.

While Chulatt wonders whether he should call others for help. Because. What the Quiznak was up with the Ziggy human (or Altean??)?

[ziggyplayedguitar]

The memory does get a reaction. Ziggy starts to cry. It feels like there are no more chances for those memories and his mind is open enough for Chulatt to pick up those feelings and thoughts.

If he takes time to observe the person his standing on, his skinbis cold (though this is normal), and his breathing is slow, sluggish, and shallow. If he hadn't passed out, it was likely that Ziggy would have overdosed on something, any of the cocktail of drugs and alcohol he was wallowing in to stop thinking and feeling.

[making_sacrifices]

Chulatt decides to wait a moment, because... is Ziggy dying? Shiro'd be upset.

The blue mouse sighs and then, sends this.

[ziggyplayedguitar]

The memories just tighten Ziggy's grip on the 'Shiro' in his mind, thouh he calls it Hiroki and he is definitely without a prosthetic.

Ziggy's real life fists clench and he starts pulling into a fetal position.

[making_sacrifices]

Something seems to be happening, at least. Chulatt bites another finger out of frustration and sends one more memory.

[ziggyplayedguitar]

The nip still has no effect. It will take hours for the numbness to wear off.

The memories aren't pulling him out of his stupor. He's convinced Hiroki is gone to him. Chulatt gets a few traces of pain. First and foremost that Shiro stole the body of the man Ziggy is clinging to in his mind, and that he's afraid he'll be without him if he wakes up.

[making_sacrifices]

The mouse decides to show him this. Does so, and tries to make sense of Ziggy's accidental and painful message.

Then settles on trying to communicate that even if he's gone now, he'll come back. He always comes back. That's how he is. He's already come back after being away, once. From a Galra ship, even. That's how the Black Paladin is, always. Black Paladins always come back, they're almost scary that way. However, this one's nice, and good at washing the mice, though Hunk's even better. Tries to communicate that in feelings, and in thoughts, alhtough Chulatt doesn't think that Ziggy can hear thoughts, no. But tries in thoughts, too.

Who even knows, though?

[ziggyplayedguitar]

Ziggy can hear and it's probably for the better that the pain is turning to anger. His meeting with Shiro rages to the front of his mind, especially the hurt as he realized Shiro took the body of the man he loves and Ziggy doesn't know what happened to Hiroki. There's waves of confusion, and a certain feeling that who he loves is gone and that Shiro now inhabits, has stolen, that body to use.

The emotions and thoughts coming out of Ziggy's mind are jumbled but another moment of clarity slides in of Hiroki telling Ziggy he's not Shiro. Ziggy has a definite idea that there are two people, two vastly different people that look exactly the same. The one he is clinging to in his mind is decidedly not Shiro.

[making_sacrifices]

Chulatt isn't stupid. He asks whether there are two different Shiros.

He now shares this with Ziggy and asks if this is the Black Paladin who is Ziggy's mate. Did this Black Paladin die? He asks.

[itmeanstruth]

Minoru was acquainted with the alien. He would even go so far as to call him a friend - though Minoru called nearly everyone a friend to some extent. He knew what Ziggy was and bits about where he came from. He enjoyed his music when it was being played and he continuously rolled his eyes at the hybrid’s drunk and/or flirtatious advances. When he heard Ziggy had finally found that special someone, he was genuinely happy for him. When he heard through the grapevine later that said person was gone, well, that was when he started to get a little concerned that Ziggy was nowhere to be found.

Maybe Ziggy just needed some time alone. That’s what artists do, right? Hole up, pour their emotions into their work and create stuff. But as time went on, Minoru just couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong.

He knocked on the door to the townhouse, several times, but there was no response. Not to be deterred, he peeked through the living room window - only to see a state of disarray complete with liquor bottles and Ziggy’s seemingly lifeless body on the floor.

“Oh no... no no no...”

He immediately tried to open the window, but found it locked.

“Don’t be dead. Please don’t be dead.”

There were other windows, though, and Minoru wouldn’t stop until he found one that he could open - even if that meant climbing over a bathtub or kitchen sink!

[ziggyplayedguitar]

A cat came to the door at the knocking, a strange kitten with orange fur, striped with teal. If that wasn't odd enough it had down wings and cried pitifully on the other side of the door.

Though, perhaps out of reach for others, if one scaled the 10 foot wooden privacy fence around the back patio they would find the sliding doors accessible and unlocked.

The place is a mess. The sheer number of empty gin bottles alone was astonishing nevermind that it seemed many of the flat surfaces had been used for cutting lines of cocaine in the recent past.

Ziggy is comatose overdosing or poisoned by alcohol, it's hard to say given the quantities taken and the possible interactions in alien metabolic processes. Still it would be obvious that he's lost weight and hasn't been taking care of himself or his surroundings. There's a hanging feeling of depression, disinterest and hopelessness in the air... Minoru would easily realize these are Ziggy's emotions but so quiet that they are almost non-existent, like a distant whisper.

[itmeanstruth]

A ten foot fence to Minoru was like a speedbump for anyone else. A short running start, and he scaled up and over it in seconds. Not even wasting time on a landing, he just tucked and rolled right back up to his feet and sprinted to the sliding door. Thank goodness it was unlocked.

He hurried back through the townhouse, only to freeze in place as he took in the scene in front of him.

The number of bottles he’d seen through the window were a fraction of how many there really were. The house was a mess. The room was a mess. Ziggy was an even bigger mess - filthy, pale, sweaty, downright emaciated - and he knew for a fact that white powder dusting most of the flat surfaces wasn’t dust. How long had he been like this?

The cat cried again, and it shook Minoru back to his senses.

He knelt down next to Ziggy, feeling his emotions the same way he felt his pulse - faint, almost nonexistent. (Granted he had limited knowledge on Anthean anatomy, so he might not have been measuring at the perfect place.) Ziggy was still breathing, but those breaths were shallow and irregular.

“Ziggy? Ziggy, wake up...” he shook him gently, only to remember that gin was basically an anesthetic for an Anthean. That wouldn’t rouse him. He probably couldn’t even feel it.

This was bad.

[ziggyplayedguitar]

The kitten came over to rub against Ziggy's throat yowling. It could sense this was all wrong, even more than a normal cat. The rockstar is limp and even colder than usual, though at least for an Anthean it is not as detrimental as it is for humans.

The name gets a reaction. It's like a sleeping person shoving someone away but instead of being physical it comes mentally. Ziggy doesnt know who is bothering him but he doesn't want to wake up. He doesn't ever want to get up off this floor.

Though the Anthean system is better at cleaning toxins It's still going to take a long time to purge all the gin and cocaine.

There are papers in the coffee table, handwritten, from when Ziggy was still coherent enough to work on lyrics. All of them are depressed, about loss, some sound vaguely suicidal if Minoru cares to read them.

[itmeanstruth]

At the moment, any written record of Ziggy's downward spiral was going to be second to Ziggy himself. Minoru felt the mental push, weak and sluggish as it was. Ziggy was alive, but did he want to be?

"Oh no, you don't. You want me to leave, you're going to have to push me with more than just your mind." he insisted, maneuvering Ziggy to roll him onto his left side. It didn't take any effort at all. Antheans were unnervingly light to begin with, but this was beyond even that. He made sure to tilt Ziggy's head back, keeping the airway open in case his body regained enough function to throw up some of the gin before it did anything else.

Minoru looked down at his hands in disgust. Ziggy must have knocked over one of those bottles at some point, because something was still sticky. If he'd bathed any more recently than he'd eaten, Minoru would be surprised.

"Lucky for you, this is basically my day job." he sighed, and turned to the otherworldly kitten. "Watch him for a sec. I'll be right back."

The least he could do was clean some of this mess up and maybe nudge some life back into the depressed hybrid.

[ziggyplayedguitar]

Ziggy didn't want to die but he didn't want to think or feel anything. He wanted to stay numb forever. Of course, that meant he was so weak from not eating that physical pushing was unlikely.

A second push came, a little stringer than the last but it was not even close to his usual strength. The kitten looks up at Minoru, listening before rubbing against her master's face, tiny feet pushing at his cheek as if the kitten understood. It did know that it had a sick parent that wouldn't get up.

[itmeanstruth]

It took Minoru a little while to gather what he needed. He felt a little guilty for essentially raiding Ziggy’s house, but desperate times called for desperate measures. He couldn’t put a relationship back together, but he could show the alien the kindness he certainly wasn’t showing himself.

He returned to Ziggy’s side a couple of times, checking to make sure he was still breathing. Before long, the floor was covered in the largest, fluffiest towel he could find. He’d filled two large bowls with tepid water - not too hot, he had to remind himself. Antheans didn’t do so well with heat - and a stack of washcloths. It wasn’t hard to find soap or shampoo that the alien seemed to like. Thankfully, there was also an oversized bathrobe hanging on the door. Minoru really didn’t want to have to have to go digging around for a change of clothes.

“Ziggy?” He shook him gently again, to see if he was even close to starting to come out of the stupor. “Ziggy... Come on, you’ll feel a little better once you’re cleaned up... You can’t stay like this...”

Because the alternative was wallowing until he wasted away completely. He might not want to die, but that’s exactly what was going to eventually happen if he kept this up.

[ziggyplayedguitar]

Ziggy didn't want to wake up but the intoxication was starting to wear off, though at a snails pace. The more alert he becomes the heavier the emotional pain in the room around him. Unconscious, he has even less control over his emotional projection.

He's not aware enough for anything coming off his empathy to make sense but the sense of loss and grief are so intense they might cause nausea or tears. Minoru, given his profession, might have more insight into the issue. This is the anguish left after someone has died. Ziggy's desperate desire to not experience anything more and just shutdown until there's nothing left might read like textbook survival after the unexpected death of a family member.

[itmeanstruth]

Rolling Ziggy back onto the towel was easy. But Minoru wasn’t exactly prepared for the next wave of emotions rolling off the unconscious alien. They hit him like a punch in the gut and he dropped the washcloth into the water.

“Oh!” Minoru exclaimed, first out of surprise, and then understanding. “Oh...”

Everything made sense now. His lover hadn’t left. He died...

“Oh, Ziggy... I’m sorry...”

Minoru picked up the washcloth and held it for a moment. No matter how many times he was faced with this situation, it never got easier. There were no silver bullets, no perfect words. And while he was sure that said lover would not have wanted to see him like this, now wasn’t the time for guilt.

Tenderly, he brought the washcloth up to Ziggy’s face. He dabbed it across his eyelids first, and then wiped away the tear tracks as he cleaned the rest of his face.

“I’m so sorry for your loss...”

[ziggyplayedguitar]

Most of Ziggy's injury is self inflicted from substance abuse. However, both of his hands are bruised and swollen from beating on Shiro. The Anthean body, even a hybrid one, isn't made for the kind of impact that comes with hitting someone. That doesn't even take into account the emotional turmoil of enacting violence on someone else.

It was the water that started him coming around. He doesn't care about the other person in the room. Instead he's struggling to roll over, intent on getting a hold of the gin bottle that he'd been nursing to shut his mind off again. He doesn't want to be awake he doesn't want to think.

He can't do more than turn over before he's exhausted. The thoughts come back and he just pulls into a fetal position to cry. He's dehydrated though and no tears come just the shaking of his body brought on by sobs and the starvation.

[itmeanstruth]

The movement startled Minoru, but it was quickly followed by a sigh of relief. The anesthetic effects were wearing off, which meant he wasn’t just going to stop breathing - a thought the orderly was lost in for too long. Had Ziggy’s body been in better condition, he would have reached one of those bottles before Minoru could do anything about it.

But it wasn’t. He was far too weak. And just turning away was so strenuous that Ziggy barely had anything left. The desolation in the room was palpable. Minoru had to swallow it down, along with the lump in his throat.

“Ziggy... Ziggy, no...” he carefully pushed the bottles back out of reach before dipping the washcloth into the bowl of water again. It helped rouse him, so he held out hope that it might also soothe him. “I know it hurts...”

He didn’t turn him, though it wouldn’t have taken much effort. Instead, he leaned over him, washing his ear and gently down his neck.

[ziggyplayedguitar]

This time when the mental push comes it is hot, aggressive, and angry. Ziggy doesn't want bothered with. He just wants to drink his mind back into silence. The pain of loss feels crushing on his chest. It's hard to breathe.

Minoru couldn't understand the depth of trauma, not yet. If this had been just death maybe Ziggy would have handled it better, probably not but it might have been a little better. His senses were definitely to blame for a great deal of pain. It would have been an easier situation for a human, not much easier but a little.

He can't take the heartache and it just rolls off of him in waves. Antheans weren't like humans. They were, for all thoughts, immortal. Love was literally forever. To have it for just moments, just a couple days and have it yanked violently away was too much. This was all too much. It hadn't been there when Minoru arrived but thoughts are blossoming in Ziggy's mind. Thoughts of dying to end what he feels.