There&#39;s a Starman

Ziggy turns abruptly in front of Minoru so he has to stop or bump into him.

"The part of me that starts getting stiff around you, you won't touch so it doesn't matter." For a moment, as Ziggy stares into his face the lust and want is there, wide open in his emotions, and it instantly fades as he puts his back to Minoru to open the car door.

"I guess just practice whatever on me." Ziggy sighs and climbs in while pulling off the upper part of his jump suit so it hangs around his waist.

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Fortunately, Minoru was agile. He narrowly missed bumping into the Anthean. He could feel something intense, a flood of warmth in every corner of his body. And then it stopped.

"BESIDES that..." Minoru insisted as the door opened and Ziggy climbed in.

He followed, half-crawling along the floorboards that were more spacious than he remembered last time. (Granted, Ziggy had wedged himself down there once, but Ziggy was also extremely thin.)

"Let me know when you're comfortable." he encouraged softly, pulling down the jumpsuit a little bit more, getting some of the excess fabric out of the way. "I don't have any oil or anything, but I hope it still feels good..."

Gently, he ran his hands lightly over Ziggy's exposed back. No tickling this time, just soft, exploratory touch of that colder Anthean skin. He'd start with the upper back and shoulders, before moving to the arms - something relaxing after all that guitar playing. That made sense.

There was a warmth in Minoru's touch - feelings of affection that started in his core and moved all the way out his fingers. He closed his eyes, sinking into the long strokes without putting excess pressure.

"You know... if there's any of my friends I'd want to make feel good... it's you."

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When Ziggy lays down he tries to get comfortable but he's not. As he starts to massage Minoru will certainly feel the unusual and not so straight parts of his ribs where they've been broken. He's already seen the scars from the bullets and knife.

Ziggy bit down on his lip to try not to moan. This wasn't relaxing and Minoru might feel the tension growing in his muscles. Ziggy couldn't take it when Minoru said he wanted to make him feel good. Without warning he sat up to stare at Minoru.

"Just fucking stop it." His voice is high and stressed. "You don't want to make me feel good. You want to put yourself all over me and tell me no and shove me away every time I try to reach out."

Ziggy is panting and scowling but his emotions are all over the place. It might feel like there is a tornado is in the car. "You tell me it's only sex you don't like but... you reject everything from me while grabbing all over me whenever you want. I HATE IT!"

Ziggy curled up in the corner away from Minoru. The high of the night making it hard to control his emotions or mouth for that matter.

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Minoru felt a strange pain associated with those places, something foggy in the back of his mind that he couldn't place. He heard Ziggy moan and that strange warmth was back.

Then suddenly, everything was tense. Everything went cold. His eyes shot open and he nearly got a face full of Ziggy's limbs as the Anthean pushed himself back in more ways than one.

He squealed as he fell back.

But Ziggy wasn't the only one high on the effects of the night. Emotions were running wild, and the more riled up Ziggy got, the more riled up he felt inside as well. It hurt. It made his stomach clench. It made him want to tear his hair out, and he couldn't help but scream back.

"I DO want to make you feel good! This IS what feels good! I don't know HOW make you feel the way you make me feel, but I thought... I thought this might, okay?!" his voice was matching Ziggy's tone - but with added fear and desperation. "It's really fucking hard because I don't even UNDERSTAND it, okay? These feelings? This... THIS... ALL OF THIS! It's never HAPPENED to me before! I can't remember ever even LOOKING at someone and thinking, 'gee, they're cute.' Not the way everybody else says it, and YOU?? Just BEING around you makes me want to melt inside, and I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS!!"

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Ziggy unfolded and pointed angrily at the fact he was getting an erection from the intimacy.

"Do you think it feels good for me to constantly deal with this? You won't even let me kiss you without shoving me away but you just.. fucking touch me everywhere like it doesn't do anything to me."

Ziggy is frustrated and aroused both sexually and his emotions. "You treat me like I have all these switches and you can just flip the ones you don't want to deal with and I won't feel those things any more."

Ziggy feels vulnerable and it is loud in his emotions. "My species thrives on contact. It's horrible the way you grope me but slap all of my touch away like I'm constantly violating you."

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That, of course, was one problem that Minoru certainly didn’t have at the moment. And the blank stare he gave glancing down and back up again proved he had absolutely no idea what he was even supposed to do about it even if he wanted to.

This anger physically hurt.

“And you don’t?!” Minoru replied, equally exacerbated. "You think can just flip the ones you WANT to deal with? And I’ll actually turn on? I’m not a computer! It doesn’t compute!”

In truth, Ziggy’s frustration was probably the main source of Minoru’s frustration. They were feeding off each other’s emotions.

“Don’t you have anything, anything at all that feels gross to you? Natto? You hate that too, right? Imagine someone smearing that on your face. THAT’S what being kissed feels like, okay? Except at least you don’t smell like rotten soybeans!”

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"Bullshit!" Ziggy snarls. "You don't even let me do the things you say are ok. You just keep moving the lines. I don't want sex.. ok then I will just kiss you and hold you but now you push that away too."

Ziggy feels on the verge of crying and screaming. It's been a long time since he was this riled up. Not since Hiroki was always shoving him away like a yo-yo. This felt the same. "And all you do is tell me you want to be close to me and are attracted and want me to feel good.. but all you do is slap me in the fucking hands like I'm a bad child."

"About you? No, nothing about your presence feels gross to me except that..." Ziggy was starting to pull his knees up again.

His voice goes quiet. "You're treating me like everyone else. You want me for whatever you want from me but I'm not supposed to want anything for myself. Anything I need is wrong and dirty. It feels like you're using me and that feels gross."

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He’d curled up on the opposite end of the backseat, wedged on the floorboard, much the way Ziggy had been that day. “I thought it might, but everything feels... it feels MORE. Just... just MORE! It’s HARD and I don’t know how you even DEAL WITH THIS EVERY SINGLE DAY...”

Ziggy’s voice softened. Minoru’s did too.

“...this is what you feel like every day, isn’t it...” he looked up tentatively, toward the Anthean currently burying his head in his knees.

Even the sadness seemed to be more intense - like being choked, if not outright suffocated. He didn’t even realize he was crying until he felt his eyes sting.

“I’m sorry... I’m not trying to... I just...”

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"No, this is what you feel of me." Ziggy takes a ragged breath as he tries not to get eaten up by the other emotions. "I feel more. I feel everyone in the room. I hear more, see more.. being here is like I'm drowning but I have to hold my breathe and all the water in too."

Ziggy laid his cheek on his arms wrapped around his knees. "what I am.. everyone wants in on it but most people don't want me. They just want the high from my presence. People are everywhere, clawing at me, but I'm mostly alone."

Ziggy just frowns when he feels Minoru starting to cry. He's not even sure he should try to reach out any more. "I don't sleep. I don't get tired. There's no rest for me but no one else can keep up. The drugs and drinking help keep me down so I can try and function."

Ziggy sighs and pulled tighter in. "I just wish .... I don't know .. that i didn't constantly feel you wanting my presence because I know if I try to be there you're going to shove me on my ass like I'm trying to molest you or something."

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Minoru had never used drugs before, but that was probably the closest comparison to what he was feeling. Literally high. No one, while under the influence and on top of the world, would want it to stop. And when it was gone, everyone would always want more.

“...when you said you were addictive. That’s... this is what you meant...”

In that respect, Ziggy was a commodity. He wasn’t even a person. And simply by being high in the first place, Minoru was guilty of using. Even if he wasn’t trying to. It made him feel completely disgusted inside. Which in turn, only made the situation worse.

“I’m sorry...” he didn’t know what he could even say.

Cautiously, anxiously, he uncurled himself and crawled closer. He felt like he was drowning too. He gulped down the metaphorical sea water, swallowed his disgust over how it might feel, and tried to keep himself from literally shaking as he leaned in and awkwardly kissed Ziggy on the exposed cheek.

It probably didn’t take telepathy to figure out that was his first kiss. But if it made Ziggy feel like he wasn’t alone for just one moment, maybe... maybe something good could come out of this.

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"Yes." Ziggy says quietly. "Not everyone is kind about taking what they want."

He didn't often talk about that part of it. The people grabbing him and kissing him when he didn't want it or the worse things.

Ziggy pulls in closer. "Don't. Stop doing things to me you won't let me do."

A moment of self hate fluttered through where he just wanted to fade away. Ziggy shook his head. "Just stop wanting me if you only want what I feel and not anything about me."

Ziggy sighs. "We can be friends but I don't want this. I don't want to feel like this around the people close to me. Not when it is what I feel in public when I step off the safety of the stage."

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He unconsciously wiped his own mouth with his knuckles.

With his bad attempt at a kiss, Minoru wanted to show Ziggy that he did care, but even that was muddled in the mess of emotions bouncing back and forth between them. When he felt the inky wave of self-hate, that feeling of wanting to fade away, he outright panicked.

“I’m sorry... I’m sorry...” he stumbled back, reaching for the door handle behind him. He couldn’t do that right now. He had enough presence of mind to realize that he wasn’t in his right mind. Any promise he made could be a lie.

Minoru tumbled backwards out of the seat (Thank goodness for the empty spot next to the car.) and bolted back inside the club.

Streaks of color mixed with the tears on his cheeks. He looked about as bad as he felt as he frantically ran right for Isamu.

“Have you seen Hiroki? I messed up!! I messed up EVERYTHING. But he can fix it. He fixed it before...” he stammered quickly, all in about a breath and a half. “And can you invent a device that scrambles Anthean empathy so I don’t hurt my friend because I’m high whenever I’m around him?! Please??”

The usual ‘...What did you do?’ was replaced with just, ‘...what?”

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"I'm sorry too." Ziggy whispers. When Minoru tumbles out the door Ziggy starts to get up from where he's curled to help, but there wasn't any time.

Tommy had just agreed to another drink from Isamu when the mess comes in. Tommy watches what comes in and listens, for once to more than just the words.

He interjects. "If you've caused a problem shouldn't you be the one to fix it? You can adjust to it. Mary Lou and Tom both survived with an Anthean around."

As soon as he said her name Tommy suspected that it was a bad choice. She had been crazy near the end and he had no idea why. He adds quietly. "Culture is a hurdle too."

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Isamu climbed down off the barstool, nervously approaching his brother. As logical as Newton’s response was, Minoru had been behaving increasingly more illogical throughout the night. Things... escalated quickly.

“Minoru... Minoru, calm down. Deep breaths. What transpired between you and Ziggy, and is he all right?” And the all too familiar, “...What did you do?”

He was crying as he attempted to relay the short story of getting in the car, barely making a few strokes over Ziggy’s back before they were both overwhelmed by feelings - anger so strong that it hurt and sadness so strong it suffocated. Any feeling of happiness either of them had walking out there was gone. And some of it was replaced by the very real fear that he’d left the Anthean in a state in which he’d spiral down again.

“Adjust to it?!” He growled at Newton. “If I just want to be around him because it feels good, I’m just as bad as all the other fans who want a piece of him. Just because an alcoholic is functioning doesn’t mean they’re not destroying themselves and everyone else around them!”

It was not meant to be a personal attack. They were standing next to a bar and the metaphor just happened to fit.

Edited Date: 2020-11-22 01:42 am (UTC)

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Tommy just watches the two for a moment. Thankfully, unlike Ziggy, Tommy is centered and not as emotional. He sighs at the anger.

"Is that what you think of Hiroki and Tom? That they are destroying Ziggy and everyone else?" It was an honest and calm question. "They are adjusted to Anthean presence."

Tommy got the bartender to bring a glass of water. "Sit. Give yourself a moment and I will check on Ziggy."

And by that he meant reaching out with his mind and presence which was much more efficient than walking out there.

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When Minoru finally processed the realization that he had accused his friends of doing the same thing Ziggy accused him of, he just seemed to break inside. He slumped down beside the bar just clutching his head and sobbing.

Isamu glanced between the two of them, dumbfounded for a moment. The bartender passed him a water glass, and he knelt down next to his brother.

“I apologize... Whatever you are feeling is overwhelming, and I do not feel it. Try to breathe. Mister Newton did say it will pass... but it will take time. Like sleeping off a bad hangover.”

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"Ziggy is upset but fine. I have sent his mother to see to him." Tommy tells the boys.

"I can help subdue the effect." Tommy eventually answers after they seem to flounder over what is going on.

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For a moment, Isamu almost lost his composure. He’d asked for help long before this escalated.

“Do you mean to say you possess such an ability, but chose to purposefully withhold that vital information until the present moment... for what purpose?”

Edited (I can grammar. I swear.) Date: 2020-11-22 02:21 am (UTC)

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Tommy gets this usual raised brow and disappointed look. "He needs to learn on his own to exist around my species. I'm not trailing him around to block my nephew from him."

The Anthean takes his drink and sips it. "He needs to learn his feelings have meaning to other people. This isn't something that started in front of us tonight."

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“While I do not disagree on the principle, lacking basic knowledge does create an inability to adequately prepare for a situation. Especially when the feelings in question may not even be his own.” Isamu countered. “You studied our species thoroughly before coming to Earth. I would wager that during your military service, you underwent training prior to engaging a single combatant. Whether it began tonight or not, this was clearly beyond what either of us knew.”

They both knew Minoru had no idea what he was getting himself into. And Isamu was kicking himself for simply sitting by while things did escalate, as Newton described more than once.

“Thank you for the information you shared, but the belated offer will not be necessary.” Isamu flagged down the bartender to close out his tab.

He bent down, trying to get Minoru back to his feet. “Come on, let’s go.”

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"I know Ziggy would have warned him about the concert." Tommy sighs. "I can't determine how your brother will feel about Ziggy's feelings. I don't know him and I don't know his relationship with Ziggy. They're emotions were happy when they left."

Tommy looks down with tears welling up and his voice comes cold. "I was a teenager like Ziggy when they took me to my first day of training which was killing 20 'combatants'. The only thing I received was endurance training as they forced me to kill more and more people with my mind each day."

These were not memories Tommy wanted to remember especially not now. Tommy watches him hurrying to pack up and leave. "He'll come looking for him, to apologize for the pain between them."

That Tommy did know. Antheans always apologized for even the slightest injuries. It was why Tommy questioned who and what he was sometimes. He had no drive to that place of sympathy much of the time.

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Isamu threw his brother’s arm over his shoulder and lifted him from the ground. Minoru was shaking, still completely overwhelmed and crying.

“He did...” Minoru gasped. “Intense... something I’ve never felt before... I thought... if being around him felt like a warm hug then... then this... just more... better...”

That did technically constitute a warning.

Minoru looked over at Tommy. “I’m sorry... I’m sorry anyone made you hurt anybody with your mind... i’m sorry I... I can’t... I don’t know how to... to feel this... I’m sorry I’m not a light switch! I’m sorry I’m a broken human that doesn’t like sex!”

Isamu winced. That last part came out extremely loud.

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Tommy takes a breath and sets his drink aside.

"Wait." He tells Isamu and there's a clipped tone to it which Tommy rarely uses.

He moves over to the boys and if allowed will lay a hand on Minoru's hair or shoulder. Either way his presence is there. He doesn't force it on Minoru but he's there if the human reaches for it and open which Tommy rarely does for anyone. He's so unlike Ziggy' controlled, calm, and distant like looking at the moon on a cold winter night but gentle. His presence is so gentle it could be described as almost passive.

"Neither of you are broken." He says gently. He remembers so many times Mary Lou throwing things at him and screaming because he was so cold and disinterested. "A human and an alien need time to find middle ground when they connect."

And sometimes they never find it maybe but Tommy doesn't think this human is anything like the humans he encountered, that betrayed him.

Edited Date: 2020-11-22 01:28 pm (UTC)

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Minoru’s mind is like a wide open door, complete with a welcome mat, shoe rack and a pair of house slippers waiting for you on the other side. The moment Tommy touched him, the calm presence completely overshadowed everything else. It was like Aletayria’s in that respect, the way her gentle serenity took away the migraine Ziggy had caused.

The crying stopped. Minoru was very quiet, passively sinking into that connection, feeling it, embracing it like a warm hug.

Isamu asked warily, “...what are you doing?”

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