Ziggy Stardust (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
ziggyplayedguitar) wrote2020-08-01 07:26 pm
ziggyplayedguitar) wrote2020-08-01 07:26 pm
Entry tags:
The Elephant in the Room
Things were unbelievable. Ziggy was high on life, so much so that even his cocaine use diminished. Reduced to something at a recreation, instead of life sustaining. A mere week and his drinking was all but gone, except whiskey in his coffee, always.
They'd come to a routine. Ziggy recording, Hiroki training, sharing meals together. They both could cook and that was unexpected, though Ziggy couldn't place why he found it odd. Importantly, Hiroki indulged Ziggy's craving for unending contact. And the sex! When they touched it didn't stop until they were falling asleep, worn out by the desperate need for each other. It was unrestrained as they abandoned themselves to each other. Someone was getting close to satiating his desire for sex and intimacy. It wasn't all day like Ziggy had imagined he would need, daily, perhaps but the idea that it didn't need to be so all consuming to be satisfying was new to the Anthean.
And he didn't have to hide. Since Hiroki returned, Ziggy hadn't put his contacts back in. He could let the Anthean part of himself be exposed, be safe with it known, and, if he was honest with himself, it seemed that Hiroki treasured him more because of it. There was perhaps something to be said for acceptance he could never find on Earth. That acceptance went both ways. Ziggy accepted the fact that his lover was a dead clone, but the Anthean had never seen him as just a clone anyway.
Those thoughts brought questions that had Ziggy glancing up at his lover from where they lay on the couch together. They needed to talk about the elephant, or rather giant robot, metaphorically in the room with them.
"Hiroki?" He asked quietly, not really wanting to disturb him while he read.
They'd come to a routine. Ziggy recording, Hiroki training, sharing meals together. They both could cook and that was unexpected, though Ziggy couldn't place why he found it odd. Importantly, Hiroki indulged Ziggy's craving for unending contact. And the sex! When they touched it didn't stop until they were falling asleep, worn out by the desperate need for each other. It was unrestrained as they abandoned themselves to each other. Someone was getting close to satiating his desire for sex and intimacy. It wasn't all day like Ziggy had imagined he would need, daily, perhaps but the idea that it didn't need to be so all consuming to be satisfying was new to the Anthean.
And he didn't have to hide. Since Hiroki returned, Ziggy hadn't put his contacts back in. He could let the Anthean part of himself be exposed, be safe with it known, and, if he was honest with himself, it seemed that Hiroki treasured him more because of it. There was perhaps something to be said for acceptance he could never find on Earth. That acceptance went both ways. Ziggy accepted the fact that his lover was a dead clone, but the Anthean had never seen him as just a clone anyway.
Those thoughts brought questions that had Ziggy glancing up at his lover from where they lay on the couch together. They needed to talk about the elephant, or rather giant robot, metaphorically in the room with them.
"Hiroki?" He asked quietly, not really wanting to disturb him while he read.
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Thinking about anything outside of this moment right now is not something Ziggy can do right now. All he can think about is the pleasure and emotions flowing between them.
I know you want and need me as much as I want and need you.
Ziggy doesn't care where they are. There's no shame to him in making love to his partner. He'd fuck him in public if he didn't know Hiroki appreciated privacy.
He can't do anything more than cry out now. Hiroki's name, a cascade of praise for the way he's touching Ziggy. The orgasm, here in the spiritual space where, more or less, their souls are in contact, is too intense. He feels like he might faint from the release. It definitely echos into his real world body. The physical orgasm echos through his spiritual presence as if he's had two orgasms. It certainly feels that way.
Ziggy lays there for some time, panting for breath and stroking Hiroki's hair. You're amazing. Everything about you.
I'm waiting for SDL Trados to load, so might as well write the tag I already have in mind, yay :D
Hiroki's glad he has. It might sound strange, but for him, this is a proof that Hiroki is himself, too.
You must've put some spell on me, haven't you? Confess it,
Hiroki jokes.
Because I'm utterly enthralled by you, Ziggy. And I'm not amazing. YOU are.
He's sweating and shaking in pleasure. And pulsating with whitish teal light. Outside, in the physical world, IGF-Atlas is shining.
After, Hiroki pants heavily, and leans into all of Ziggy's touches. He's very close to getting an orgasm himself and he can hardly bear it. He glances at Ziggy, trying to see if Ziggy's up for continuation. Right now.
Wait, he's in charge right now, isn't he?
He props himself up on his arm, leans in and whispers right in Ziggy's ear, "Ziggy. Ziggy, I want you. Now. Give yourself to me."
Ziggy can always stop if he wants, but Hiroki just loves making decisions right now and ordering Ziggy - well, as long as the Princess Ziggy's up for it, of course. Somehow, this is thrilling. And he thought he couldn't love Ziggy more than he already does, but on that, every day proves him wrong. He loves Ziggy more with each new day, it seems to him.
And it amazes him, maybe always will, that knowing all he does of Hiroki, Shiro's clone, the test subject of... Ziggy's letting him love him. As if all that didn't even matter. As if he was a person as worthy of love as any real person.
But that's because Ziggy's just that amazing.
I want you inside me, now!
Wants. Needs.
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Ziggy's out of breath but he's always up for more. He can barely resist indulging with him every time either of their minds drift into wanting. Ziggy nuzzles into Hiroki's neck gasping at the whisper. I'm yours. You can have me any time you want, where ever you want.
He's out of breath and the dominance from Hiroki isn't helping him regain it. It's easy to feel that the demands are a turn on and Ziggy presses himself into Hiroki as he leans over the top of him. The feeling of love is overwhelming and leaves Ziggy feeling completely safe. Here, with Hiroki, he can give up all of his control.
Anything you want. Ziggy bites his neck gently. If you want my cock in you, you're going to have to roll us over.. or... you could just keep me pinned here and fuck me. I know you want to.
The Anthean can barely think, everything is just a flood of emotions; tenderness, love, arousal, desire, want.
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No, you.
Ah.
A-ahhh.
Too good. He doesn't deserve this, he knows he doesn't, he never has, never shall.
But Ziggy wasn't stupid. So, what the quiznak was happening?
Nevermind all that!
Now is now, and now he -- he pins Ziggy to the floor, harder, and says,
"Shut up. You're being too loud."
And he lowers himself on Ziggy.
I love you, I want you, you beautiful, beautiful angel.
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Ziggy squirms under him because he can't help it. This is too arousing to stay still. "I love you too."
"And I want you." Ziggy's words come low and breathless. "...are you going to take me as your girl or your boy?"
And Ziggy hoped both. He's quickly getting used to offering over all of himself, all of his body to pleasure. It is safe with Hiroki and that is intoxicating. He's never been safe enough to just relent completely to someone else.
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He moans, then. Ah-
Everything.
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There's challenge in his words, seductive and flirtatious. The idea of just being ravished by Hiroki until he can't think straight is exactly what he wants. His emotions are so high that he feels dizzy.
In bed rn. Goodnight! :)
"If you can't shut up, tell me who am I to you."
The yanking gets him giddy, somehow, too, and... he grabs Ziggy's hand, whichever one's closer, who cares, and licks the palm.
Tell me.
He's not angry and won't even pretend he could be, just focused, on all that Ziggy might say, and--- ahh, it's impossible to focus right now. Ziggy feels too incredibly gorgeous, and loving, and... everything.
"And I will take all of you, I don't need your permission. So. It's an order. Say..."
Of course he needs Ziggy's permission. But they're both safe in knowing that.
Good night
He's getting so aroused it's hard to think in words or even emotions or images. He's feeling scattered but he hesitantly adds. "My commander? ....." and then quietly in his mind. "My husband.. someday?"
Words slip away for a moment and he can only stare up lovingly at the man pinning him to the floor. His weight feels perfect. How thier bodies and emotions fit together is perfect.
"Please... I need you." How he decided didn't matter. Ziggy just needed more, needs the rush of the passion rising between them. He pulls harder on the hair in his hand, pressing his lover's face toward his neck and chest. His whole being is tugging at Hiroki with love and wantin sexual desire.
I woke up few minutes ago cuz I forgot toilet.
Hiroki lights up, no, everything lights up around them... everything, literally, here in the Quintessence of Atlas.
Outside, in the physical realm, IGF-Atlas, the robot, lights up like a crystal from Balmera.
Inside, Hiroki's feeling a bit oberwhelmed, a little tired suddenly perhaps, and weak in the knees, but infinitely glad and loving, cherishing and cherished.
The White Lion suddenly appears near them. Personally, in spirit. Well, a spirit is all he is. Wordlessly, he demands knowledge whether the young Atlas spirit isn't overexerting himself. And who's responsible for this.
Welcome back and second Good Night
Maybe. Ziggy teases with an ever growing smile. I'm waiting for my prince to ask me the right way.
Hiroki can surely feel it, the way Ziggy is fluttering with excitement over the idea of binding to him forever. Ziggy turns golden in response, shimmering like he is covered in glitter. Ziggy let's go of his hair to wrap arms around him, stroking his back. His forehead and eyes glowing. The Anthean actively feeding energy onto his lover.
The lion appearing gets a curious look and then a smile. "Mmm.. yes, he's exerting himself."
The way Ziggy is speaking is dirty, sly. As to over exerting, Ziggy has no idea but with the closeness right now he's pouring off so much energy that Hiroki probably doesn't have to worry.
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Hiroki's flustered, clinging to Ziggy, closing his eyes, and pretending White doesn't just right now see him in the middle of fucking, or rather, of making love.
He concentrates on Ziggy.
You won't be waiting long, Princess.
It's a promise. A promise to beg mother and father, er, yhh, Aletayria and the Major, very soon.
It's a promise.
Of course Hiroki will try to do all this right. It's the least he can do. And he dreams of doing it. Wishes...
So, now, he kisses Ziggy hungrily, no longer minding White, and pulls their astral bodies, their spirits, closer, close as can be. Which is closer than one ever can with two separate physical bodies.
Hiroki gasps and shudders in what he can only assume to be infinite pleasure, joy, and affection.
Not exterting... anything... you've just took me flying straight into the Sun, it's so warm, and so good, Ziggy... they say it's impossible to touch the sun, so why am I touching it inside you, Ziggy? Ziggy. Ziggy. Ziggy. Ziggy... love... my Ziggy. Ziggy. Ziggy. Ziggy. Ziggy. Ziggy. Ziggy. Ziggy-
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The corridor of Castleship suddenly shimmers and disappears. Completely.
Suddenly, they're all surrounded by a beautiful landscape. Hiroki and Ziggy are now very close to water. To a lake, perhaps. This one looks like it might be a lake. They're lying on grass, that looks and feels far too vibrant and full of life to be common grass. Ditto nearby water.
Hiroki opens his eyes and utters, with love and reverence,
"What... what is this place? It feels so familiar, and so... so kind and so... so life giving. As if one could come back to life, here."
Not exactly here, as this is a projection, an echo of the real place, an echo called on by White.
I'm not wrong, Hiroki is now thinking softly. I've never been to this place, I'm not sure I know what this place is or what it's called, though it seems familiar, very familiar, but this place, it's life.
He giggles lightly and kisses the thing on Ziggy's forehead, and then, Ziggy's palms, hungrily, with concentated awe and affection and need and passion and desire and love.
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I'm your supernova. Ziggy responds playfully as he basks in the feelings.
It is only with the question that his eyes open to look at the change in scenery. However, it is quickly forgotten when the kisses start again. Ziggy moans, wrapping his arms tighter. His whole spirit is wide open to Hiroki, vulnerable and bare. He trusts him with everything and falls into kissing whatever is close enough;shoulders, neck, lips.
I love you. the words coke with a flood of energy fed right into Hiroki. It's subconscious, the action of giving over so much energy.
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It feels so good. And he trusts in Ziggy by now, trusts that Ziggy won't give him too much and harm himself, subconsciously, he's begun to trust in that, which is hard for him, as before Ziggy, the only one he'd share Quintessence with with consent was Black Lion, and of course Black did what Black wanted, and wouldn't be hurt by it, surely.
But Ziggy wasn't a lion, was, Hiroki thought before, a normal person, and could be hurt by such quintessence transfer.
But by now, Hiroki subconsciously trusted Ziggy even on that.
Besides, Hiroki's so open right now, and vulnerable too, and completely inviting Ziggy, that if Ziggy wished, Ziggy could simply take Hiroki's quintessence with no protest from Hiroki.
Ziggy was the pilot, after all. And... mhm... future wife...?
Hiroki shimmers, and continues with the kissing. Ziggy's making him so much stronger, and this place... what was this place, who's seen it...?? This place around them, so full of quintessence, even if it's only memory, is making Hiroki stronger, too.
He could almost believe he's alive again, even though he's not in Nexus right now, but at home.
Yes, yes, yes, you are, Ziggy.
You're more. You're so much more. You know... I forgot to tell you, but you have really striking eyes. I like them. They really fit with your hair. So, I don't know about you, but I think you look better without contacts. More you.
And then Hiroki's assaulting Ziggy with kisses again, feeling so aroused again, he can hardly bear it.
Hey, Ziggy. Do you think I'm alive? I almost feel alive again. It's so strange. But I like it. Let's come here. To this place. In reality. Just me and you.
Nevermind. I don't know what's this place's called, or where it is. Nevermind. I... you know... I love you. Surely you don't know how much. I barely know. I... I don't know. Very much. I barely know, myself. But if you know, Ziggy, tell me. Ahh... I like you so much...
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And the Anthean just abandons himself to his lover. It's something beyond the physical control that Hiroki had so recently, no this is control of his spirit. A giving over of everything.
The contacts are itchy. His voice comes but it isn't attached to anything. It merely is there, quiet and compassionate and absolutely, adoringly in love with this spirit.
You've always been alive and unique to me. It was the truth because Ziggy saw so much more than others.
Then, suddenly all he can do is beg for intimacy, closeness, sex. It feels like if he doesn't have it he might just die.
I know. I feel it even when you don't know. I can always feel it... across the Nexus...maybe into your own world. I feel you always. Ziggy can't think any more in words. Everything comes now in desires and abstract images. Some are mundane. Lazy days together and dinner out. Others are more intimate and with bow bear his spirit is, things he might never say are there in faint flickers. The desire to have a family with Hiroki and the pain of realizing it is impossible for so many reasons. The way Ziggy yearns for Hiroki to be immortal, to spend forever with him. It's all there if Hiroki listens.
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To Hiroki, it's like their two souls are one now, a closeness he's only ever had with the Black Lion, and with Atlas, but different, too, because with them it's platonic, and with Ziggy romantic, so it feels slightly different, too.
Outside, Atlas is shining brightly.
Inside, Hiroki's now busy listening to Ziggy.
What??
But Ziggy, you've given me family, don't you know? You, love, and Mother, and Father, and now...
Aletayria, Tom... and now, he thinks of Aletayria's... not yet born? little baby.
You've given me, no, share with me, a loving family, more than I could've asked for, so, what are you talking about? You've given me so much, I could give you myself and I'd still be in your debt, forever.
Hmm, I wouldn't mind being in your debt forever.
The clone kisses Ziggy's forehead again. It feels so good. But then, he listens to Ziggy's desires. What does Ziggy want him to do right now to him? Becuase Hiroki will do it. Will do it all. Here, he can.
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Ziggy feels so nervous that his whole presence flutters, the light winkng almost. He presses in, kissing gently. You don't owe me anything.
Ziggy didn't keep tally like this. He gave and Hiroki gave and that made their bond strong and made their relationship worthwhile. Neither f them owed the other.
Ziggy doesn't have any defined wants, closeness maybe and there's an overabundance of lust. The surge of energy and the way their spirits are touching has left the Anthean half mad with arousal. Surely, in the real world there's just a string of lusty moans coming from his sleeping body.
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But..
He smirks a little, half serious, half-playful, I think I'll continue to have a physical body for now, in Nexus, just for you. As long as you take good care of it.
Heh.
And well, it's sort of physical, what he has in Nexus, as it's purely made of Quintessence, nothing else, but it is flesh, in most of ways, just like if somebody brought together all the proper atoms to make water, in some not very usual way, it'd still be water, so... yeah.
Anyway, what I'm saying is, as long as you'd like me to have a body, I'll have it. I can even change it a little for you? But not too much, even if I can, because... because I'm myself, and I will look like myself.
He winks.
And goes back to the utter closeness and wholeness with Ziggy.
Hmmm... you can top now, if you ask me very nicely...
Father? You think I'd make a good father?
Hiroki blushes and his quintessence light pulsates.
I... I hope I would... uhm... I wouldn't mind having a child with you, Ziggy, but I don't know if I'm alive enough... I can't ask White Lion, Atlas, and Shiro, to just... make sure I could. This is... embarassing.
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However, he does get serious about the idea of changing. Hiroki. I fell in love with you. You don't need to change anything for me to love you.... but if you want to change, then I'm here for you. Ziggy utterly accepted the man he had.. paranoia, fears, uncertainty and all. He was even prepared to live his life with someone missing an arm. It didn't matter that much to him.
Top? Ziggy looks dazed. He doesn't have the mind for it right now. Maybe later.... I like when you take control.
He adored the dominant, masculine stance Hiroki took often enough. It wasn't that it was masculine so much as it made Ziggy feel feminine and he yearned for that sometimes.
I do. Ziggy sighs and buries himself in Hiroki, whispering. I don't know if I can have children either. I might be sterile. I don't know. My genetics are a mess... but I would try with you sometime.
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It is a body, in almost every way, in Nexus, true, but if there's any genetic material about it, really, Hiroki doesn't know.
So if... I don't know if it's real enough... nevermind...
Real body, though he wouldn't exactly call it normal, the real body is what Shiro has now, and that's fine, by now. Real, though normal wouldn't be the right word, exactly. If it was utterly normal, it'd look like a toddler today, and Shiro doesn't look like a toddler at all.
Nevermind. I'm talking nonsense. Just... keep loving me, Ziggy, this is enough... I would... like children, maybe, but... don't worry, love. Your genetics might be a mess, but I might not have any genetics, in Nexus as I am, even, who the quiznak knows. Nevermind. I love you, genetics or not.
He presses closely.
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I will love you just as much if we can't. I.. I just want you to have the life she tried to take from you. Ziggy starts crying. It's frustration, and anger, and love... so much of it is love. He wanted these things for Hiroki because he loved him so much.
He meets the press of closeness, wrapping his arms and legs around Hiroki. Make love to me, please.
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You know, Ziggy, if it wasn't for you, I'd probably still hate myself a little. And I would just think... that hopefully I can redeem myself, at least a little, by helping my family...
Voltron's team is his first family, will always be, and he knows Ziggy knows that.
by helping as part of Atlas. That if I do that enough, other Paladins will know I still loved them, even if I can't say anything. So, I thought, I thought that's it, and I've accepted that.
That's why... it's amazing I can now have more family. It's amazing that I can talk to someone I love, with words. It's amazing that... I have so much more than I've ever deserved.
But. Ziggy's now asked Hiroki to make love to him, so enough thinking, now, Hiroki will now do just that. Wait, Hiroki wanted to be taken as female, but, how did that work, again...
He takes Ziggy's hand, looks at the palm and, flustered, tries to remember what to do, exactly. Sometimes, sex with Ziggy is so overwhelming, Hiroki Shirogane can barely remember any details afterwards.
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Ziggy slips the hand free to gently rest on Hiroki's cheek. You can ask. I don't mind helping. It's new to both of is.
And Ziggy does just that. Tugs a little on his thighs to get him to move up a little and straddle Ziggy, easy enough since he is so thin. Having the female parts in his lower abdomen at the bikini line instead of between the thighs does mean Hiroki is going to have to get used to a slightly different motion.
Ziggy starts stroking Hiroki, and arches up just enough to show him where he needs to penetrate. Better?
Ziggy kisses him and smiles. We're still learning how to love each other, what we like. You don't need to feel embarrassed. I like to experiment with sex, so try whatever you want.
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Heartfelt, and he hopes dearly that Ziggy can say the same, despite everything.
He lets Ziggy direct him to the proper place, and then goes to put his cock there.
Not trying to be too careful, as these aren't their physical, though it sometimes feel that way... but also different... and less limits.
He knows he can feel all this in thy physical realm, too, he can feel it, (if anybody will see IGF-Atlas during their travels, they'll see it shining, and somehow, Hiroki feels slightly embarassed about that, but it's fine. And it's hard to be embarassed here, in the spirit, with Ziggy at his sight, and taking in beautiful sight of Ziggy, so open to him, and of the scenery of... he knows this place, what is this place...) and he's sure Ziggy can feel the passion of this all, all they're doing, outside, too, it's impossible not to. Surely Allura would leave Ziggy alone, knowing he and Hiroki are being intimate in this dimension, so it's fine.
I'll try. I'll try everything. And, hey, I know I don't have to change myself for you, but if there's anything you'd fantasize about, tell me, I can just change for a moment and then go back.
For example, he jokes, not really thinking Ziggy would be into that, necessarily, if you wanted me to have a bigger penis
He giggles lightly, though also gets flustered. It's only a joke, while it actually is possible to do, and only a stranger would think that Hiroki's being vain or whatever.
And Hiroki just means, well, anything that Ziggy might want to try, temporarily, not fundamental in any way.
But all that thought is interrupted as he gets into Ziggy's-- what is it even called... he forgot... well, gets there, and...
Well, it's best to stop talking, probably. He moans, and grabs Ziggy tighter.
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sorry, shiros hope with humour... sorry not sorry
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