The Elephant in the Room

[ziggyplayedguitar]

Things were unbelievable. Ziggy was high on life, so much so that even his cocaine use diminished. Reduced to something at a recreation, instead of life sustaining. A mere week and his drinking was all but gone, except whiskey in his coffee, always. 

They'd come to a routine. Ziggy recording, Hiroki training, sharing meals together. They both could cook and that was unexpected, though Ziggy couldn't place why he found it odd. Importantly, Hiroki indulged Ziggy's craving for unending contact. And the sex! When they touched it didn't stop until they were falling asleep, worn out by the desperate need for each other. It was unrestrained as they abandoned themselves to each other. Someone was getting close to satiating his desire for sex and intimacy. It wasn't all day like Ziggy had imagined he would need, daily, perhaps but the idea that it didn't need to be so all consuming to be satisfying was new to the Anthean. 

And he didn't have to hide. Since Hiroki returned, Ziggy hadn't put his contacts back in. He could let the Anthean part of himself be exposed, be safe with it known, and, if he was honest with himself, it seemed that Hiroki treasured him more because of it. There was  perhaps something to be said for acceptance he could never find on Earth. That acceptance went both ways. Ziggy accepted the fact that his lover was a dead clone, but the Anthean had never seen him as just a clone anyway.

Those thoughts brought questions that had Ziggy glancing up at his lover from where they lay on the couch together. They needed to talk about the elephant, or rather giant robot, metaphorically in the room with them. 

"Hiroki?" He asked quietly, not really wanting to disturb him while he read. 

Comments

[ziggyplayedguitar]

In Ziggy's mind all of this is extremely healthy. Matching sex drives, the give and take that happens between them both in and out of the bed, the way they cling to each other and their emotions soar when they touch. To the hybrid this is how things should be. Flirting, begging, taking control is all part of sex, good and healthy parts of sex.

"You're not my favorite." Ziggy pants out in a tease. "You're the only one. The only one I love this much. The only one I'd let touch my spirit and mind the way you are."

It's certain that his body is reacting. This may not exactly be a dream but it is the same kind of mental stimulation. Those outside might think hes asleep and having an erotic dream. That isn't too far from the truth.

The will surely hear the breathless moan of Hiroki's name, as surely as Hiroki hears it here in the spirit realm when mouth and tongue come in contact with his cock. He can't stop the slight rocking push of his hips.

The energy drain will go unnoticed. As they fall into pleasuring each other, Ziggy's spirit brightens, pouring off emotional energy as he gets high on the connection between them. For those outside, if they came into the room with his sleeping form they would probably become aroused and desire to seek out their own partners or at least some privacy for themselves.

Ziggy dissolves into moans and cries of Hiroki's name. His fingers tighten in his lover's hair, pulling at him. He's getting close already, will be faster to get off here, because Hiroki is touching him in ways no one else can.

[somekindofspaceuncle]

Yes, this would be nothing for Ziggy's boundless energy. While for Hiroki's own it's quite a boost, and a great help sealing the holes and scars in his own quintessence.

But all that is happening unconsciously. Hiroki's whole conscious attention right now is on Ziggy.

Only one. Only one Ziggy'd be that intimate with. And sure, Ziggy might or might not have sex with other people, but in face of that, what does it even matter?

Being where they are, no deceit is possible, probably. So Hiroki knows Ziggy means it.

Also, some part of Hiroki wonders if he's left Ziggy with some hickeys, before, with all the biting. Er... spirit hickeys? Maybe a few.

And then he can barely think anymore, as this is all just too intense. Ziggy is.

Ziggy-- ahh, Ziggy--

The bonus of being here is also that he just freely 'talk' here without using his mouth. Just thinking.

Then again, Ziggy is psychic, so they can talk like that outside, too, but Hiroki's not always thinking about that clearly.

I don't think I've ever told you how much I... how much I need you. Need you. Want you.

Maybe he has, maybe he hasn't. He can't think clearly right now. He's close to coming, himself.

Maybe they should've done this in Hiroki's bed in his room, why did they leave the room, just moments ago, anyway?

But that's alright. Knowing Ziggy, doing more in bed moments from now is also possible.

But right now, Hiroki can't really think clearly about all that, anymore, really.

Ziggy, you must- ahh- be magical Hiroki thinks loudly, because with you, I feel utterly alive.

So what if he's not alive in any conventional sense, anymore, in any normal reality at least? He truly does feel completely alive with Ziggy.

And you are-- Ziggy, you are the only one I love this way, I'm sure

[ziggyplayedguitar]

Ziggy has certainly had hickeys before. He's probably left them on Hiroki too.

Thinking about anything outside of this moment right now is not something Ziggy can do right now. All he can think about is the pleasure and emotions flowing between them.

I know you want and need me as much as I want and need you.

Ziggy doesn't care where they are. There's no shame to him in making love to his partner. He'd fuck him in public if he didn't know Hiroki appreciated privacy.

He can't do anything more than cry out now. Hiroki's name, a cascade of praise for the way he's touching Ziggy. The orgasm, here in the spiritual space where, more or less, their souls are in contact, is too intense. He feels like he might faint from the release. It definitely echos into his real world body. The physical orgasm echos through his spiritual presence as if he's had two orgasms. It certainly feels that way.

Ziggy lays there for some time, panting for breath and stroking Hiroki's hair. You're amazing. Everything about you.

I'm waiting for SDL Trados to load, so might as well write the tag I already have in mind, yay :D

[somekindofspaceuncle]

Hiroki's glad he has. It might sound strange, but for him, this is a proof that Hiroki is himself, too.

You must've put some spell on me, haven't you? Confess it,

Hiroki jokes.

Because I'm utterly enthralled by you, Ziggy. And I'm not amazing. YOU are.

He's sweating and shaking in pleasure. And pulsating with whitish teal light. Outside, in the physical world, IGF-Atlas is shining.

After, Hiroki pants heavily, and leans into all of Ziggy's touches. He's very close to getting an orgasm himself and he can hardly bear it. He glances at Ziggy, trying to see if Ziggy's up for continuation. Right now.

Wait, he's in charge right now, isn't he?

He props himself up on his arm, leans in and whispers right in Ziggy's ear, "Ziggy. Ziggy, I want you. Now. Give yourself to me."

Ziggy can always stop if he wants, but Hiroki just loves making decisions right now and ordering Ziggy - well, as long as the Princess Ziggy's up for it, of course. Somehow, this is thrilling. And he thought he couldn't love Ziggy more than he already does, but on that, every day proves him wrong. He loves Ziggy more with each new day, it seems to him.

And it amazes him, maybe always will, that knowing all he does of Hiroki, Shiro's clone, the test subject of... Ziggy's letting him love him. As if all that didn't even matter. As if he was a person as worthy of love as any real person.

But that's because Ziggy's just that amazing.

I want you inside me, now!

Wants. Needs.

[ziggyplayedguitar]

You seduced me. Ziggy giggles because he feels drunk on pleasure. You must be amazing because I love you.

Ziggy's out of breath but he's always up for more. He can barely resist indulging with him every time either of their minds drift into wanting. Ziggy nuzzles into Hiroki's neck gasping at the whisper. I'm yours. You can have me any time you want, where ever you want.

He's out of breath and the dominance from Hiroki isn't helping him regain it. It's easy to feel that the demands are a turn on and Ziggy presses himself into Hiroki as he leans over the top of him. The feeling of love is overwhelming and leaves Ziggy feeling completely safe. Here, with Hiroki, he can give up all of his control.

Anything you want. Ziggy bites his neck gently. If you want my cock in you, you're going to have to roll us over.. or... you could just keep me pinned here and fuck me. I know you want to.

The Anthean can barely think, everything is just a flood of emotions; tenderness, love, arousal, desire, want.

[somekindofspaceuncle]

No, you.

Ah.

A-ahhh.

Too good. He doesn't deserve this, he knows he doesn't, he never has, never shall.

But Ziggy wasn't stupid. So, what the quiznak was happening?

Nevermind all that!

Now is now, and now he -- he pins Ziggy to the floor, harder, and says,

"Shut up. You're being too loud."

And he lowers himself on Ziggy.

I love you, I want you, you beautiful, beautiful angel.

[ziggyplayedguitar]

Ziggy moans under the pressure of Hiroki's weight. "Shut up? Should I stop screaming your name?"

Ziggy squirms under him because he can't help it. This is too arousing to stay still. "I love you too."

"And I want you." Ziggy's words come low and breathless. "...are you going to take me as your girl or your boy?"

And Ziggy hoped both. He's quickly getting used to offering over all of himself, all of his body to pleasure. It is safe with Hiroki and that is intoxicating. He's never been safe enough to just relent completely to someone else.

[somekindofspaceuncle]

"Shut up. All of you. Both. Give me everything. You will give me everything, if you're mine, Ziggy. Prove that you're mine."

He moans, then. Ah-

Everything.

[ziggyplayedguitar]

"Then stop asking."Ziggy grabs a hand full of that gorgeous long hair and yanks it. "... and take what you want."

There's challenge in his words, seductive and flirtatious. The idea of just being ravished by Hiroki until he can't think straight is exactly what he wants. His emotions are so high that he feels dizzy.

In bed rn. Goodnight! :)

[somekindofspaceuncle]

Apparently Ziggy can't be quiet. If so, then--

"If you can't shut up, tell me who am I to you."

The yanking gets him giddy, somehow, too, and... he grabs Ziggy's hand, whichever one's closer, who cares, and licks the palm.

Tell me.

He's not angry and won't even pretend he could be, just focused, on all that Ziggy might say, and--- ahh, it's impossible to focus right now. Ziggy feels too incredibly gorgeous, and loving, and... everything.

"And I will take all of you, I don't need your permission. So. It's an order. Say..."

Of course he needs Ziggy's permission. But they're both safe in knowing that.

Good night

[ziggyplayedguitar]

"My...." anything he was going to say is cut off by a moan as his palm is locked. The words are coming as gasps. "My lover... my prince... you.. you're the one t...that owns my heart."

He's getting so aroused it's hard to think in words or even emotions or images. He's feeling scattered but he hesitantly adds. "My commander? ....." and then quietly in his mind. "My husband.. someday?"

Words slip away for a moment and he can only stare up lovingly at the man pinning him to the floor. His weight feels perfect. How thier bodies and emotions fit together is perfect.

"Please... I need you." How he decided didn't matter. Ziggy just needed more, needs the rush of the passion rising between them. He pulls harder on the hair in his hand, pressing his lover's face toward his neck and chest. His whole being is tugging at Hiroki with love and wantin sexual desire.

I woke up few minutes ago cuz I forgot toilet.

[somekindofspaceuncle]

isthisayes?????

Hiroki lights up, no, everything lights up around them... everything, literally, here in the Quintessence of Atlas.

Outside, in the physical realm, IGF-Atlas, the robot, lights up like a crystal from Balmera.

Inside, Hiroki's feeling a bit oberwhelmed, a little tired suddenly perhaps, and weak in the knees, but infinitely glad and loving, cherishing and cherished.

The White Lion suddenly appears near them. Personally, in spirit. Well, a spirit is all he is. Wordlessly, he demands knowledge whether the young Atlas spirit isn't overexerting himself. And who's responsible for this.

Welcome back and second Good Night

[ziggyplayedguitar]

It's not quite a yes. Ziggy really does want the whole ring and surprise part of an engagement. It could be called a place holder for an actual yes. Ziggy smiles and leans up to get a kiss.

Maybe. Ziggy teases with an ever growing smile. I'm waiting for my prince to ask me the right way.

Hiroki can surely feel it, the way Ziggy is fluttering with excitement over the idea of binding to him forever. Ziggy turns golden in response, shimmering like he is covered in glitter. Ziggy let's go of his hair to wrap arms around him, stroking his back. His forehead and eyes glowing. The Anthean actively feeding energy onto his lover.

The lion appearing gets a curious look and then a smile. "Mmm.. yes, he's exerting himself."

The way Ziggy is speaking is dirty, sly. As to over exerting, Ziggy has no idea but with the closeness right now he's pouring off so much energy that Hiroki probably doesn't have to worry.

1/2

[somekindofspaceuncle]

So this is what's happening. And White would intervene if Hiroki was to be drained, but that's not what happening. No, with this now, with this new energy, but already familiar, too - it's not the first mating, nor the first sharing,m between these two - the very young spirit will gain Quintessence to survive and heal.

Hiroki's flustered, clinging to Ziggy, closing his eyes, and pretending White doesn't just right now see him in the middle of fucking, or rather, of making love.

He concentrates on Ziggy.

You won't be waiting long, Princess.

It's a promise. A promise to beg mother and father, er, yhh, Aletayria and the Major, very soon.

It's a promise.

Of course Hiroki will try to do all this right. It's the least he can do. And he dreams of doing it. Wishes...

So, now, he kisses Ziggy hungrily, no longer minding White, and pulls their astral bodies, their spirits, closer, close as can be. Which is closer than one ever can with two separate physical bodies.

Hiroki gasps and shudders in what he can only assume to be infinite pleasure, joy, and affection.

Not exterting... anything... you've just took me flying straight into the Sun, it's so warm, and so good, Ziggy... they say it's impossible to touch the sun, so why am I touching it inside you, Ziggy? Ziggy. Ziggy. Ziggy. Ziggy... love... my Ziggy. Ziggy. Ziggy. Ziggy. Ziggy. Ziggy. Ziggy. Ziggy-

2/2

[somekindofspaceuncle]

The White Lion yawns, lies down nearby, closes his eyes.

The corridor of Castleship suddenly shimmers and disappears. Completely.

Suddenly, they're all surrounded by a beautiful landscape. Hiroki and Ziggy are now very close to water. To a lake, perhaps. This one looks like it might be a lake. They're lying on grass, that looks and feels far too vibrant and full of life to be common grass. Ditto nearby water.

Hiroki opens his eyes and utters, with love and reverence,

"What... what is this place? It feels so familiar, and so... so kind and so... so life giving. As if one could come back to life, here."

Not exactly here, as this is a projection, an echo of the real place, an echo called on by White.

I'm not wrong, Hiroki is now thinking softly. I've never been to this place, I'm not sure I know what this place is or what it's called, though it seems familiar, very familiar, but this place, it's life.

He giggles lightly and kisses the thing on Ziggy's forehead, and then, Ziggy's palms, hungrily, with concentated awe and affection and need and passion and desire and love.

[ziggyplayedguitar]

As Hiroki pulls thisr spirits together Ziggy feels faint. The way thier energy is pressing to the point it feels like the boundary between them is blurring. It presses his eyes closed but the circle of light on his forehead is only getting brighter.

I'm your supernova. Ziggy responds playfully as he basks in the feelings.

It is only with the question that his eyes open to look at the change in scenery. However, it is quickly forgotten when the kisses start again. Ziggy moans, wrapping his arms tighter. His whole spirit is wide open to Hiroki, vulnerable and bare. He trusts him with everything and falls into kissing whatever is close enough;shoulders, neck, lips.

I love you. the words coke with a flood of energy fed right into Hiroki. It's subconscious, the action of giving over so much energy.

[somekindofspaceuncle]

It feels so good. And he trusts in Ziggy by now, trusts that Ziggy won't give him too much and harm himself, subconsciously, he's begun to trust in that, which is hard for him, as before Ziggy, the only one he'd share Quintessence with with consent was Black Lion, and of course Black did what Black wanted, and wouldn't be hurt by it, surely.

But Ziggy wasn't a lion, was, Hiroki thought before, a normal person, and could be hurt by such quintessence transfer.

But by now, Hiroki subconsciously trusted Ziggy even on that.

Besides, Hiroki's so open right now, and vulnerable too, and completely inviting Ziggy, that if Ziggy wished, Ziggy could simply take Hiroki's quintessence with no protest from Hiroki.

Ziggy was the pilot, after all. And... mhm... future wife...?

Hiroki shimmers, and continues with the kissing. Ziggy's making him so much stronger, and this place... what was this place, who's seen it...?? This place around them, so full of quintessence, even if it's only memory, is making Hiroki stronger, too.

He could almost believe he's alive again, even though he's not in Nexus right now, but at home.

Yes, yes, yes, you are, Ziggy.

You're more. You're so much more. You know... I forgot to tell you, but you have really striking eyes. I like them. They really fit with your hair. So, I don't know about you, but I think you look better without contacts. More you.

And then Hiroki's assaulting Ziggy with kisses again, feeling so aroused again, he can hardly bear it.

Hey, Ziggy. Do you think I'm alive? I almost feel alive again. It's so strange. But I like it. Let's come here. To this place. In reality. Just me and you.

Nevermind. I don't know what's this place's called, or where it is. Nevermind. I... you know... I love you. Surely you don't know how much. I barely know. I... I don't know. Very much. I barely know, myself. But if you know, Ziggy, tell me. Ahh... I like you so much...

[ziggyplayedguitar]

Ziggy crushes thier spirits together, his own filtering into Hiroki's bonding them. He wasn't going to walk away from this the same as he walked in. They were bonding, or Ziggy was bonding to Hiroki. There were no words for it, more intimate than sex.

And the Anthean just abandons himself to his lover. It's something beyond the physical control that Hiroki had so recently, no this is control of his spirit. A giving over of everything.

The contacts are itchy. His voice comes but it isn't attached to anything. It merely is there, quiet and compassionate and absolutely, adoringly in love with this spirit.

You've always been alive and unique to me. It was the truth because Ziggy saw so much more than others.

Then, suddenly all he can do is beg for intimacy, closeness, sex. It feels like if he doesn't have it he might just die.

I know. I feel it even when you don't know. I can always feel it... across the Nexus...maybe into your own world. I feel you always. Ziggy can't think any more in words. Everything comes now in desires and abstract images. Some are mundane. Lazy days together and dinner out. Others are more intimate and with bow bear his spirit is, things he might never say are there in faint flickers. The desire to have a family with Hiroki and the pain of realizing it is impossible for so many reasons. The way Ziggy yearns for Hiroki to be immortal, to spend forever with him. It's all there if Hiroki listens.

[somekindofspaceuncle]

To Hiroki, it's like their two souls are one now, a closeness he's only ever had with the Black Lion, and with Atlas, but different, too, because with them it's platonic, and with Ziggy romantic, so it feels slightly different, too.

Outside, Atlas is shining brightly.

Inside, Hiroki's now busy listening to Ziggy.

What??

But Ziggy, you've given me family, don't you know? You, love, and Mother, and Father, and now...

Aletayria, Tom... and now, he thinks of Aletayria's... not yet born? little baby.

You've given me, no, share with me, a loving family, more than I could've asked for, so, what are you talking about? You've given me so much, I could give you myself and I'd still be in your debt, forever.

Hmm, I wouldn't mind being in your debt forever.

The clone kisses Ziggy's forehead again. It feels so good. But then, he listens to Ziggy's desires. What does Ziggy want him to do right now to him? Becuase Hiroki will do it. Will do it all. Here, he can.

[ziggyplayedguitar]

A nervous embarrassment blossoms in Ziggy's presence at the question. It may be the first, perhaps the only time ever, that Hiroki feels shyness rolling off of Ziggy's presence. It is brief though and soon Ziggy is giving him a kiss, giggling. I... sometimes... well I think about us having a family... you.. I think you'd be a good father.

Ziggy feels so nervous that his whole presence flutters, the light winkng almost. He presses in, kissing gently. You don't owe me anything.

Ziggy didn't keep tally like this. He gave and Hiroki gave and that made their bond strong and made their relationship worthwhile. Neither f them owed the other.

Ziggy doesn't have any defined wants, closeness maybe and there's an overabundance of lust. The surge of energy and the way their spirits are touching has left the Anthean half mad with arousal. Surely, in the real world there's just a string of lusty moans coming from his sleeping body.

[somekindofspaceuncle]

I don't owe you? Oh, Ziggy. I don't think I'd decide to have a flesh body again, for example, if it wasn't for you. Because what'd I need a body for?

But..

He smirks a little, half serious, half-playful, I think I'll continue to have a physical body for now, in Nexus, just for you. As long as you take good care of it.

Heh.

And well, it's sort of physical, what he has in Nexus, as it's purely made of Quintessence, nothing else, but it is flesh, in most of ways, just like if somebody brought together all the proper atoms to make water, in some not very usual way, it'd still be water, so... yeah.

Anyway, what I'm saying is, as long as you'd like me to have a body, I'll have it. I can even change it a little for you? But not too much, even if I can, because... because I'm myself, and I will look like myself.

He winks.

And goes back to the utter closeness and wholeness with Ziggy.

Hmmm... you can top now, if you ask me very nicely...

Father? You think I'd make a good father?

Hiroki blushes and his quintessence light pulsates.

I... I hope I would... uhm... I wouldn't mind having a child with you, Ziggy, but I don't know if I'm alive enough... I can't ask White Lion, Atlas, and Shiro, to just... make sure I could. This is... embarassing.

[ziggyplayedguitar]

You don't want a body for yourself? Ziggy questions playfully. Wouldn't you miss pressing it against me? He's teasing, playful from being so high on the emotions between them.

However, he does get serious about the idea of changing. Hiroki. I fell in love with you. You don't need to change anything for me to love you.... but if you want to change, then I'm here for you. Ziggy utterly accepted the man he had.. paranoia, fears, uncertainty and all. He was even prepared to live his life with someone missing an arm. It didn't matter that much to him.

Top? Ziggy looks dazed. He doesn't have the mind for it right now. Maybe later.... I like when you take control.

He adored the dominant, masculine stance Hiroki took often enough. It wasn't that it was masculine so much as it made Ziggy feel feminine and he yearned for that sometimes.

I do. Ziggy sighs and buries himself in Hiroki, whispering. I don't know if I can have children either. I might be sterile. I don't know. My genetics are a mess... but I would try with you sometime.

[somekindofspaceuncle]

But what if I... what if I could conceive only with my old body? What if I can't like this, now, because I... I'm not sure there's...

It is a body, in almost every way, in Nexus, true, but if there's any genetic material about it, really, Hiroki doesn't know.

So if... I don't know if it's real enough... nevermind...

Real body, though he wouldn't exactly call it normal, the real body is what Shiro has now, and that's fine, by now. Real, though normal wouldn't be the right word, exactly. If it was utterly normal, it'd look like a toddler today, and Shiro doesn't look like a toddler at all.

Nevermind. I'm talking nonsense. Just... keep loving me, Ziggy, this is enough... I would... like children, maybe, but... don't worry, love. Your genetics might be a mess, but I might not have any genetics, in Nexus as I am, even, who the quiznak knows. Nevermind. I love you, genetics or not.

He presses closely.

[ziggyplayedguitar]

I do love you. I just... I want everything with you.. a family.. everything anyone else can have. The fact that he's dead somehow has made that more acute, more desperate.

I will love you just as much if we can't. I.. I just want you to have the life she tried to take from you. Ziggy starts crying. It's frustration, and anger, and love... so much of it is love. He wanted these things for Hiroki because he loved him so much.

He meets the press of closeness, wrapping his arms and legs around Hiroki. Make love to me, please.

[somekindofspaceuncle]

You know, Ziggy, if it wasn't for you, I'd probably still hate myself a little. And I would just think... that hopefully I can redeem myself, at least a little, by helping my family...

Voltron's team is his first family, will always be, and he knows Ziggy knows that.

by helping as part of Atlas. That if I do that enough, other Paladins will know I still loved them, even if I can't say anything. So, I thought, I thought that's it, and I've accepted that.

That's why... it's amazing I can now have more family. It's amazing that I can talk to someone I love, with words. It's amazing that... I have so much more than I've ever deserved.

But. Ziggy's now asked Hiroki to make love to him, so enough thinking, now, Hiroki will now do just that. Wait, Hiroki wanted to be taken as female, but, how did that work, again...

He takes Ziggy's hand, looks at the palm and, flustered, tries to remember what to do, exactly. Sometimes, sex with Ziggy is so overwhelming, Hiroki Shirogane can barely remember any details afterwards.