The Elephant in the Room

[ziggyplayedguitar]

Things were unbelievable. Ziggy was high on life, so much so that even his cocaine use diminished. Reduced to something at a recreation, instead of life sustaining. A mere week and his drinking was all but gone, except whiskey in his coffee, always. 

They'd come to a routine. Ziggy recording, Hiroki training, sharing meals together. They both could cook and that was unexpected, though Ziggy couldn't place why he found it odd. Importantly, Hiroki indulged Ziggy's craving for unending contact. And the sex! When they touched it didn't stop until they were falling asleep, worn out by the desperate need for each other. It was unrestrained as they abandoned themselves to each other. Someone was getting close to satiating his desire for sex and intimacy. It wasn't all day like Ziggy had imagined he would need, daily, perhaps but the idea that it didn't need to be so all consuming to be satisfying was new to the Anthean. 

And he didn't have to hide. Since Hiroki returned, Ziggy hadn't put his contacts back in. He could let the Anthean part of himself be exposed, be safe with it known, and, if he was honest with himself, it seemed that Hiroki treasured him more because of it. There was  perhaps something to be said for acceptance he could never find on Earth. That acceptance went both ways. Ziggy accepted the fact that his lover was a dead clone, but the Anthean had never seen him as just a clone anyway.

Those thoughts brought questions that had Ziggy glancing up at his lover from where they lay on the couch together. They needed to talk about the elephant, or rather giant robot, metaphorically in the room with them. 

"Hiroki?" He asked quietly, not really wanting to disturb him while he read. 

Comments

[ziggyplayedguitar]

Ziggy frowns at the question. "I told him you stole his body and didn't care what happened to you, that none of them did because they never tried to help you."

Ziggy cuddled against Hiroki. "I might have said other things. I don't remember. It hurt so much to hear i lost you again I passed out."

That was the truth and that conversation was what sent him down the path to overdosing.

[somekindofspaceuncle]

"My rude Princess."

He caresses Ziggy's hair now. Then, his cheeks.

But he won't say anything more about that time. Has no wish to hurt Ziggy.

Suddenly, Hiroki's slightly nervous. He says, "The White Lion wants to meet you."

[ziggyplayedguitar]

"Sometimes." Ziggy admits with a playful giggle.

"Oh." Ziggy shrugs. "I don't mind meeting it."

[somekindofspaceuncle]

Hiroki still looks nervous.

"Not before you promise me you won't be rude to him. That's important. You're here without his permission, and that might not be-- not be good."

"Remember the glass metaphor? White Lion is the one who's put me together."

[ziggyplayedguitar]

"I won't be."

Ziggy though furrows his brow. "Isn't this your home too?"

[somekindofspaceuncle]

"Shared."

Something huge suddenly appears. Enormous, really, much bigger than the planets.

The White Lion. He's not looking at all at Hiroki, he's instantly looking at Ziggy.

He's sentient, Ziggy can immediately feel that. And that he's powerful - like a world. He looks straight at Ziggy, wordlessly asking what is Ziggy seeking here, in this realm. Yes, even though there are no words, the question rings clear.

Hiroki takes a step back, as if to let them talk in private, though here, that's just a meaningless polite gesture, anyway.

[ziggyplayedguitar]

Ziggy glances away when Hiroki pulls out of his arms to step away. He doesn't shy away from the presence.

"This is where I belong." Ziggy tells it. He glances at Hiroki. "My spirit belongs with his."

It's a good start.

[somekindofspaceuncle]

Hiroki glows more at those words.

Meanwhile, the Lion changes, in a flash of white-blue light. It's now the size of an actual animal. The Lion runs at Ziggy. It's impossible to discern the Lion's emotions, if there even ever are any.

While it's happening, Hiroki doesn't feel alarmed at that in the slightest. Just interested.

[ziggyplayedguitar]

Ziggy goes blind from the flash. Though the light doesn't effect his eyes here he believes it does so he can't see for a moment. When his vision clears, he sees the animal running at him.

Ziggy freezes for a moment and then Ziggy's presence flares until the hope fills the space. He suspects he can't run away in a mind space so he holds his ground against it. He's not fearful nor aggressive so it leaves few options.

[somekindofspaceuncle]

The White Lion runs right through Ziggy Stardust. There's no harm. While he's running through him, Ziggy can hear, Welcome home, and it's not one voice, it's a chorus of voices. Soft. Warm.

After, when the Lion's a few steps away from Ziggy now, he just stops and looks at him.

Hiroki, meanwhile, looks like he very much wants to go over and give Ziggy a tight hug, but is stopping himself because it'd be a faux-pas. He's grinning like a child, and shining brilliantly.

You're so beautiful! sent, shyly, from Hiroki now, directly to Ziggy.

[ziggyplayedguitar]

Ziggy does give a little cry of surprise when it jumps through him. It's not fearful, just surprise. Then hebeing welcomed home. He turns to look at the lion.

He smiles at theion though he has no idea what is going on. Thankfully, Ziggy is awesome at just throwing himself into anything.

"What just happened?" He's curious and asking either of them.

Ziggy feels the desire for a hug so he sends an emotional equivalent, causing his forehead to glow more brightly. "You are beautiful too." Ziggy sent back.

[somekindofspaceuncle]

"You haven't sought to take by force," Hiroki says, smiling.

"We're home."

Oh, this feels great.

[ziggyplayedguitar]

"I've told you that I'm a pacifist." Ziggy doesnt get the importance of what's said exactly.

"Our second home?" Ziggy asks since his apartment was the home they had together first.

[somekindofspaceuncle]

Hiroki nods, and, in a one swoop motion, pulls Ziggy into a kiss.

Yes, Ziggy. Exactly so.

While he's kissing him.

[ziggyplayedguitar]

Ziggy pours himself into that kiss.

"I love you." it comes as mental words, emotions, his very presence bleeds those words.

[somekindofspaceuncle]

Hiroki pours himself into it, too.

Ziggy might now noticed that, even though it's not visible (but can be felt), Hiroki's spirit had been badly damaged. Can spirits be scarred? This one is, and when Hiroki shares himself with Ziggy, Ziggy can, surely, feel that. Like one would feel hundreds of distinct, jagged scars. Each one from the battle he had once waged against Honerva's possession.

I love you more, Princess Ziggy. Ziggy! I love you. I adore you. I'll always cherish you. You're perfect. And worry naught, love. I'll have a body again. I can feel.

[ziggyplayedguitar]

Ziggy feels those jagged places in his spirit, touches them gently. As if on instinct his spirit twists with them, looking for ways to mend them, stitch them back together like fabric. He's not even exactly conscious of it, but his spirit is looking to heal his partner even if it must use some of its own energy. Ziggy will recharge over time.


"Does that mean you're my prince charming?" Ziggy teases quietly. "I love you and I am here for you no matter what you need."

And goodnight! Will write next after yours tomorrow or. IDK. XD

[somekindofspaceuncle]

With Ziggy's power, and love, these many spots and holes inside can slowly be healed. To Hiroki's surprise.

"Nah, just a paladin. In your service. Sworn to you. On my very soul."

"I know. And, Ziggy. Have I ever--- thanked you? So many times I should've. So many. But I've never. I must've been quiznaking trying my hardest to make you despise me. Did you know? I tried. Forgive me? I'm so---"

"Thanks. Thank you."

[ziggyplayedguitar]

"You're charming enough to be a prince." Ziggy tells him as he feels what his spirit is doing. He wants that and encourages the process. Even if it could be done all at once, Ziggy doesn't have the energy for it. He will have to undertake this slowly, but he will work on it when he can.

"I know why you did and I forgive you for it. Many people are nervous and try to push people away for various reasons. What matters is that we've made it here and we're together."

[somekindofspaceuncle]

Hiroki feels this. He shudders. He's never hoped for this. Not even once. But he craves it.

It's almost like being reborn. He'll be more stable now, soon, outside, he can feel that.

His blue-white glow instensifies.

He gazes at Ziggy adoringly and asks, "You would do this for me? You know you don't have to. I'm not asking you to. I never expected you to. You know I'll love you whether you do this or not. This isn't the reason you're here."

Then. Forgiveness. Ziggy's forgiven him. What a relief.

"Yes. Yes, that's all that matters."

"I'm glad you're someone who'd never hurt the innocent, Ziggy. Because otherwise, no matter how much I needed you, you'd be my enemy."

"You're not, and that's what matters, too."

[ziggyplayedguitar]

"I know you didn't ask." Ziggy sighs and places a kiss on Hiroki's forehead. "I do this because I love you and want you to be healthy. I can'theal a physical body, but this one, the spirit, he can."

"I can barely hurt anyone and if I do, there are immediate effects." Ziggy canimagine hurting children. "There are a lot of people back home that believe I am hurting people."

[somekindofspaceuncle]

"Don't love me too much, I don't want to tire you," Hiroki says, grinning. "I'll settle for You loving me a little, just to be safe."

But there's an underlying truth to it and Ziggy knows that, too. Fear of Ziggy draining himself. With time, Hiroki will know that won't happen.

"Mhm. I don't like hurting others, but, it's different for you, I've noticed. More-- palpable. I see."

"Oh!"

The White Lion nods at Hiroki, who looks-- embarassed.

"Listen, I should go. I have a body now. Thanks to Atlas, Allura, and-- you?? Huh. That tracks. Yeah."

"Let's meet after. See the IGF-Atlas in the meantime, okay? Allura can give you a tour. You'll like it, I hope. I'm safe, so - why not?"

[ziggyplayedguitar]

Ziggy gives him a big hug. "I'll love you as much as I want."

And he was so deeply in love with him. Ziggy knows he might sleep, or need to do something to recharge his emotions after a stint of healing but he will be no worse for wear. Besides, one of the best ways Hedlund to recuperate is sex, and that is something they both can enjoy.

Ziggy gives him another kiss. "I'll see you soon, and if not.. I'll come in here and find you."

[somekindofspaceuncle]

Heh.

"You do that, my hero. Sure. Come. If you ever come here, you'll find me. In our place. Right here. Hmm. Maybe I just won't let Shiro come right here, ever. There are many places here. This one is now ours. Our secret place."

That Allura knows, but, apart from that, sure.

Then, the White Lion and Hiroki disappear.

Ziggy's not thrown out. Just as the young man said, it's Ziggy's home, now, too.

As a pilot, as far as Atlas on the whole is concerned.

In other words, Ziggy may stay or leave, whenever he wants to.

[ziggyplayedguitar]

"It might be a good idea to keep this space for us." Ziggy can think of all sorts of reasons for that.

He watches them disappear and doesn't panic this time. He knows that it isn't permanent now. He does linger for awhile after so that he can memorize the place.

Then he too leaves, slowly waking up in the real world. It takes some time to get his bearings. He is tired now. Still he gets up ready to explore this ship.