The Elephant in the Room

[ziggyplayedguitar]

Things were unbelievable. Ziggy was high on life, so much so that even his cocaine use diminished. Reduced to something at a recreation, instead of life sustaining. A mere week and his drinking was all but gone, except whiskey in his coffee, always. 

They'd come to a routine. Ziggy recording, Hiroki training, sharing meals together. They both could cook and that was unexpected, though Ziggy couldn't place why he found it odd. Importantly, Hiroki indulged Ziggy's craving for unending contact. And the sex! When they touched it didn't stop until they were falling asleep, worn out by the desperate need for each other. It was unrestrained as they abandoned themselves to each other. Someone was getting close to satiating his desire for sex and intimacy. It wasn't all day like Ziggy had imagined he would need, daily, perhaps but the idea that it didn't need to be so all consuming to be satisfying was new to the Anthean. 

And he didn't have to hide. Since Hiroki returned, Ziggy hadn't put his contacts back in. He could let the Anthean part of himself be exposed, be safe with it known, and, if he was honest with himself, it seemed that Hiroki treasured him more because of it. There was  perhaps something to be said for acceptance he could never find on Earth. That acceptance went both ways. Ziggy accepted the fact that his lover was a dead clone, but the Anthean had never seen him as just a clone anyway.

Those thoughts brought questions that had Ziggy glancing up at his lover from where they lay on the couch together. They needed to talk about the elephant, or rather giant robot, metaphorically in the room with them. 

"Hiroki?" He asked quietly, not really wanting to disturb him while he read. 

Comments

[ziggyplayedguitar]

"There's never been a paladin like me." Ziggy grins brightly. "Well, here we can be and do anything. I've flown in mindscapes before."

All he can do is moan into that kiss. His hands slide down to Hiroki's ass, pulling thier spirits together.

"Your lips still feel perfect on mine."

[somekindofspaceuncle]

"True enough."

Besides, all the Paladins are incredible and special, each in their own way. It still surprises me nowadays that Black Lion let me be a Paladin, despite my origins.

"True."

"You have?"

The kiss feels incredible to Hiroki. The best one yet, maybe, somehow.

Suddenly, he shimmers and then he's naked, though functionally it makes no difference, anyway.

"Ziggy-"

I have no idea what'll happen! Let's find out?

[ziggyplayedguitar]

"You are incredibly special."

"I can show you sometime." Ziggy leans into Hiroki's spirit.

Ziggy groans with pleasure as the light of thier spirits mingle at the surface.

"Hmm..." Ziggy wonders if he should tru to manifest a bed or something. "Where have you always wanted to make love? We should be able to alter the mindscape to be there."

[somekindofspaceuncle]

"Maybe... I always wished I could show you the Castle of Lions. It used to be home - my first real home, really, though at the time I thought I had a home before."

Because I thought I was Shiro.

"But I think, the Castle... even if I was the clone, and maybe usurping Shiro's space, since coming to the Castle, I'd like to show the Castle to you..."

"And you know, it'd be fitting. Because the Castle of Lions is like me. In that it's been destroyed - you can blame that on Lotor - and its core, what's left of it, is what powers IGF-Atlas, too."

Hiroki smiles softly.

"So let's picture the Castle of Lions. I mean, I can do all the picturing, I'll just try not to overexert myself. And because the core is in the Atlas, it might even feel a bit real, the Castle, I mean. And let's make love there this time, why not. In my first home."

He grins. Because Ziggy's invited him home, and he wished he could do that, too.

[ziggyplayedguitar]

"Ok." Ziggy leans his head on Hiroki's shoulder. "It's very appropriate that two of the strongest things in you world have come together to make this... and as a protector."


"If you just think about it, I should be able to help you manifest it." Ziggy pushes back Hiroki's hair. "Then after, I'll take you for a walk in the Cherry Blossom Gardens in Kyoto on my Earth and lay with you beside the pond by the bridge."

[somekindofspaceuncle]

His light pulsates more.

"Yes, let's go on that walk later!" Hiroki shouts, delighted.

As for the Castleship of Lions, Shiro's clone thinks, of course I can't pilot it, but I can show you everything. And I can't pilot it, because only people with Altean blood can. And I'm no Altean, unless-- no. No. No. No no no no. Don't let me make that even joke possibility, Ziggy, or I'm gonna feel sick, and Shiro would feel sick even moreso.

"See, there must be limits to black humour and I think I've just found them."

"Please, forget it."

To change the subject, Hiroki now begins visualising the Castleship. Home. He starts with his own room there. Fairly small, as all Paladin rooms, more like bedrooms, there. Walls. Bed. Sentimental personal things he hasn't seen in... how long?

[ziggyplayedguitar]

"I'd rather keep my promise and take you there in the real world." Ziggy whispers as he leans sadly against Hiroki.

The mental ramblings are too confusing for Ziggy to make heads or tails about. He doesn't understand why it would make anyone sick. He isn't following along well, probably because he still doesn't know a lot of Hiroki's background.

When the visualization starts, Ziggy just offers up his energy to project the image from Hiroki's mind into the space around them. He may have to work at it at first to figure out how best to offer his energy, but soon enough he will be able to be the battery for whatever the paladin wants the space around them to look like.

[somekindofspaceuncle]

Hiroki looks around, and then, from behind his bed, he pulls his black lion slippers. Because he imagined them there.

"I've missed these!" he exclaims, just giddy.

What? There are many sentimental things.

"I mean, I know it's just a memory, everything here right now, but still."

"Anyway, let's go, I'll show you around the whole Castleship. And then we can come back here."

He glances at his bed. Because, yeah. Here. But first, the tour!

"Also... thanks for the help, Ziggy. I don't think I could make all this alone. You're the best!"

[ziggyplayedguitar]

Ziggy comes to Hiroki's side grinning. "You know, you don't have to miss anything. I'd get things for you... even if I had to go to your world and pick them up."


He reaches down and takes Hiroki's hand. "Then let's go."

There's a shake of his head. "You never have to do anything alone, unless you want to. I'm always here to help you."

[somekindofspaceuncle]

As they leave Shiro's room, the corridor appears as Shi--- Hiroki Shirogane remembers it.

He takes Ziggy's hand and squeezes it, tightly, just enjoying the touch. Here, he can, without any worry of hurting Ziggy by doing that.

Hiroki smiles softly.

You would, wouldn't you? Ziggy, you spoil me too much. And yet there's still almost nothing I can give you. Because anything I was and had in my life, everything I've ever liked, had then turned out to never've been mine in the first place. And it's not their fault. They're all great and amazing. It's only the fault of the witch's - the witch's lie. That I was who I thought I was.

But you-- you won't turn out to be like that, will you? I mean, not mine...

Thought somewhat desperately

I'm sorry, Ziggy. You needn't answer at all. I wish I could do something incredible for you someday. You do for me every day.

Let's go. Hiroki leads the way.

Sometimes I imagine that I'd wake up, and you wouldn't be there, Princess, because you'd finally realise I'm too broken, I'm too dangerous. And then I want to cry.

[ziggyplayedguitar]

Ziggy keeps their fingers twined together. He's always liked holding hands because it was so intimate a touch, like solidarity.

Those words though, Ziggy steps in front of Hiroki and places the palm of his free hand over his heart to stop his progress.

Hiroki, just because you like the same thing, or things, as your brother doesn't mean they aren't yours. You can like the same things.

He shakes his head at the comment before pressing a light kiss to his lips. I'm something that's all yours and never was or will be Shiro's. Everything we do, and find out you like... everything we find out about who you are under what the witch forced on you... that will always be only yours.

He does get a light laugh. You do something incredible for me every day since I met you. You accept everything about me. Maybe even love all of it, even the stuff that drives you crazy. There's nowhere I can be more all of who I am than when I'm with you.

All he can do is brush back all that long hair with gentle fingers. The only reason you'll wake up without me is because I don't sleep and I got bored.. But we're getting close. I don't know if I can but sometime I could be across the Nexus and you'd still feel me like I was at your side.

[somekindofspaceuncle]

Can like the same things.

Huh.

There was a time, after death, when he wanted to reject anything and everything Shiro, in a desperate bid for own self that maybe never was.

That's... not how it works, is it? He still loves all of Voltron, each and every one of those men, women, and lions.

If some mystical self of his was to be found in rejecting all of it... then Hiroki doesn't want that self. That self would remind him too much of---

(Your own parents saw you were worthless. And I should've abandoned you, just like I did, he remembers hearing himself say, and the shock running through his very spirit at that. Who was the person saying that??? He hated that person, and he had renewed his desperate, worthless struggle against that person, back then. He had hated that person with all his heart, the person who'd try to make his loved ones bleed - in body and in spirit.

When he's realised that person was Haggar, everything made so much sense, he almost felt better...

He hates the fact that being what he is, he can, if anyone asked, say what things Honerva would tell Ziggy if she came and decided to keep no pretense. He hates those things and hopes he will never say them.)

But fortunately, there are no witches here. He, whoever that is, is alone with Ziggy, the rest of Atlas, and the White.

He almost chokes at Ziggy's words.

"All mine?"

He grabs Ziggy by the wrists and pushes him towards the wall.

"Of course I accept all of you. I love you. Ziggy, I love you."

He shoves him against the wall.

Then he blushes, as he wonders, audibly here in own spirit mindscape, if Ziggy's up for rough treatment right now. He can let go...

[ziggyplayedguitar]

"All yours." Ziggy repeats.

He can't help the wave of surprise when his wrists are grabbed and he's shoved. They had been just in a very intimate and gentle discussion.

"I love you too." The words are cut off when he hits the wall. The confused surprise fades away to a moan of pleasure. He had fantasized about this kind of treatment before, deep in the recesses of his mind because in the real world he can't have it. All he can do there is revel in the fact that any show of strength gets him hot.

Here though.... "Don't stop." He all but begs when Hiroki pauses. He hadn't though about this being an option presented by the mindscape. Smiling a biting his lip, Ziggy struggles a little against the hold on his wrists. He's more flirting than trying to get away, something that is abundantly clear in this place.

[somekindofspaceuncle]

Well, this is intimate, too. And something Hiroki's given up on in reality, once he's learnt that Ziggy, physically, isn't just like a human or some physically tough aliens.

Here, thogh - they could do anything.

He's just not sure if - but then Ziggy asks him, and everything's alright.

Hiroki grins.

Still not letting go, he leans closer, then lets go of one of Ziggy's hand only to kiss the palm of it passionately.

I think... you once said that you need me. Do you still need me? How much?

Maybe Hiroki will be embarassed later. But he does want to feel needed.

[ziggyplayedguitar]

Ziggy feels his knees go weak from that kiss. Instantly, his palms are wet and his breathing speeds up.

I always need you. Ziggy whispers, tugging a little at his still pinned arm to start kissing Hiroki's neck and shoulder. I need your love, your touch, your warmth, your acceptance.... and right now... I need... I want you to take me. I want you to let go, love me without any worries or restraint.

Ziggy's emotions are amping up, getting loud, euphoric and pleading.

[somekindofspaceuncle]

Yes. Yes, yes.

Hiroki isn't somebody who does drugs, he's not interested in them.

But hearing all this is like a huge blow. In a good way.

Hiroki moans at the kiss.

Then pushes Ziggy to the floor, and, on him, starts kissing and biting him anywhere and everywhere. Like he wants Ziggy to feel him on his whole body... er, spirit.

[ziggyplayedguitar]

Ziggy does understand that his presence is addictive, like drugs, and he certainly will do everything in his power to make sure Hiroki stays hopelessly addicted.

Once pushed to the floor he starts to squirm. He can't help it under the assaults of kisses and bites. Eventually, he gets his hands on Hiroki's hair, twisting his fingers into the softeness as he's slowly reduced to little whimpers and moans of pleasure. His emotions, and here in the spirit realm even his body, is bright with love and arousal.

"Suck me." He begs. "Please." Usually Ziggy wants to give oral, and be submissive. Though here, pinned to the ground and under a rain of physical sensation the request feels more submissive than the act will be. Maybe it is the begging tone of voice.

[somekindofspaceuncle]

Maybe it is.

"Ziggy, yeah--"

Hmm. This is nice. He can go with this. And the hair pulling is as always a great addition, somehow, too, though he's never sure why. But he enjoys it. So much so that-

Anyway, he was going to-- right. Ziggy's begging. This is exhilirating, even if Hiroki might be flustered about it later, and wondering if Ziggy's alright with it. But later isn't now and now is the rush of - oh, so many things, all of them his own, and some the things Shiro'd try to send him to psychologist about, if he knew, and if a spirit of a robot could go to psychologist.

But Hiroki isn't crazy. He just likes... hearing this. Somebody so important to him actually asking him, not Shiro, not the witch, but him, for anything.

"Good Princess," Hiroki says, smirking a little. Panting a little, too, even though here one doesn't really breathe, in spirit, only thinks he does.

"I love to hear you beg. And, say, I'm still your favourite, aren't I? If I am, I can give you this since you've asked so nicely."

And he reaches for Ziggy's cock. Idly, he wonders if the one out there, in Ziggy's body, will react, too. The thought is somehow... so arousing. If he can get Ziggy's quintessence and Ziggy's body to react at the same time, then, well, this is really, truly, fully theirs, his and Ziggy's, this moment, isn't it?

Oh. He hasn't gone down to suck Ziggy's cock now. So he does now. Slowly. Trying not to hurry too much. As if trying to show Ziggy that he, Hiroki Shirogane, is still in control.

That's difficult, but he enjoys it right now, so might as well try.

Hiroki's light is pulsating. This is all such a rush of pure exhilaration...

He doesn't know it, but he'll, from all this when it's done, have healed his old injuries and scars from the Haggar possession during the fight versus Keith quite a bit, doubly so if Ziggy doesn't mind and doesn't stop some of Ziggy's energy being subconsciously siphoned off. Which, with how much energy Ziggy has, shouldn't be much of a problem.

[ziggyplayedguitar]

In Ziggy's mind all of this is extremely healthy. Matching sex drives, the give and take that happens between them both in and out of the bed, the way they cling to each other and their emotions soar when they touch. To the hybrid this is how things should be. Flirting, begging, taking control is all part of sex, good and healthy parts of sex.

"You're not my favorite." Ziggy pants out in a tease. "You're the only one. The only one I love this much. The only one I'd let touch my spirit and mind the way you are."

It's certain that his body is reacting. This may not exactly be a dream but it is the same kind of mental stimulation. Those outside might think hes asleep and having an erotic dream. That isn't too far from the truth.

The will surely hear the breathless moan of Hiroki's name, as surely as Hiroki hears it here in the spirit realm when mouth and tongue come in contact with his cock. He can't stop the slight rocking push of his hips.

The energy drain will go unnoticed. As they fall into pleasuring each other, Ziggy's spirit brightens, pouring off emotional energy as he gets high on the connection between them. For those outside, if they came into the room with his sleeping form they would probably become aroused and desire to seek out their own partners or at least some privacy for themselves.

Ziggy dissolves into moans and cries of Hiroki's name. His fingers tighten in his lover's hair, pulling at him. He's getting close already, will be faster to get off here, because Hiroki is touching him in ways no one else can.

[somekindofspaceuncle]

Yes, this would be nothing for Ziggy's boundless energy. While for Hiroki's own it's quite a boost, and a great help sealing the holes and scars in his own quintessence.

But all that is happening unconsciously. Hiroki's whole conscious attention right now is on Ziggy.

Only one. Only one Ziggy'd be that intimate with. And sure, Ziggy might or might not have sex with other people, but in face of that, what does it even matter?

Being where they are, no deceit is possible, probably. So Hiroki knows Ziggy means it.

Also, some part of Hiroki wonders if he's left Ziggy with some hickeys, before, with all the biting. Er... spirit hickeys? Maybe a few.

And then he can barely think anymore, as this is all just too intense. Ziggy is.

Ziggy-- ahh, Ziggy--

The bonus of being here is also that he just freely 'talk' here without using his mouth. Just thinking.

Then again, Ziggy is psychic, so they can talk like that outside, too, but Hiroki's not always thinking about that clearly.

I don't think I've ever told you how much I... how much I need you. Need you. Want you.

Maybe he has, maybe he hasn't. He can't think clearly right now. He's close to coming, himself.

Maybe they should've done this in Hiroki's bed in his room, why did they leave the room, just moments ago, anyway?

But that's alright. Knowing Ziggy, doing more in bed moments from now is also possible.

But right now, Hiroki can't really think clearly about all that, anymore, really.

Ziggy, you must- ahh- be magical Hiroki thinks loudly, because with you, I feel utterly alive.

So what if he's not alive in any conventional sense, anymore, in any normal reality at least? He truly does feel completely alive with Ziggy.

And you are-- Ziggy, you are the only one I love this way, I'm sure

[ziggyplayedguitar]

Ziggy has certainly had hickeys before. He's probably left them on Hiroki too.

Thinking about anything outside of this moment right now is not something Ziggy can do right now. All he can think about is the pleasure and emotions flowing between them.

I know you want and need me as much as I want and need you.

Ziggy doesn't care where they are. There's no shame to him in making love to his partner. He'd fuck him in public if he didn't know Hiroki appreciated privacy.

He can't do anything more than cry out now. Hiroki's name, a cascade of praise for the way he's touching Ziggy. The orgasm, here in the spiritual space where, more or less, their souls are in contact, is too intense. He feels like he might faint from the release. It definitely echos into his real world body. The physical orgasm echos through his spiritual presence as if he's had two orgasms. It certainly feels that way.

Ziggy lays there for some time, panting for breath and stroking Hiroki's hair. You're amazing. Everything about you.

I'm waiting for SDL Trados to load, so might as well write the tag I already have in mind, yay :D

[somekindofspaceuncle]

Hiroki's glad he has. It might sound strange, but for him, this is a proof that Hiroki is himself, too.

You must've put some spell on me, haven't you? Confess it,

Hiroki jokes.

Because I'm utterly enthralled by you, Ziggy. And I'm not amazing. YOU are.

He's sweating and shaking in pleasure. And pulsating with whitish teal light. Outside, in the physical world, IGF-Atlas is shining.

After, Hiroki pants heavily, and leans into all of Ziggy's touches. He's very close to getting an orgasm himself and he can hardly bear it. He glances at Ziggy, trying to see if Ziggy's up for continuation. Right now.

Wait, he's in charge right now, isn't he?

He props himself up on his arm, leans in and whispers right in Ziggy's ear, "Ziggy. Ziggy, I want you. Now. Give yourself to me."

Ziggy can always stop if he wants, but Hiroki just loves making decisions right now and ordering Ziggy - well, as long as the Princess Ziggy's up for it, of course. Somehow, this is thrilling. And he thought he couldn't love Ziggy more than he already does, but on that, every day proves him wrong. He loves Ziggy more with each new day, it seems to him.

And it amazes him, maybe always will, that knowing all he does of Hiroki, Shiro's clone, the test subject of... Ziggy's letting him love him. As if all that didn't even matter. As if he was a person as worthy of love as any real person.

But that's because Ziggy's just that amazing.

I want you inside me, now!

Wants. Needs.

[ziggyplayedguitar]

You seduced me. Ziggy giggles because he feels drunk on pleasure. You must be amazing because I love you.

Ziggy's out of breath but he's always up for more. He can barely resist indulging with him every time either of their minds drift into wanting. Ziggy nuzzles into Hiroki's neck gasping at the whisper. I'm yours. You can have me any time you want, where ever you want.

He's out of breath and the dominance from Hiroki isn't helping him regain it. It's easy to feel that the demands are a turn on and Ziggy presses himself into Hiroki as he leans over the top of him. The feeling of love is overwhelming and leaves Ziggy feeling completely safe. Here, with Hiroki, he can give up all of his control.

Anything you want. Ziggy bites his neck gently. If you want my cock in you, you're going to have to roll us over.. or... you could just keep me pinned here and fuck me. I know you want to.

The Anthean can barely think, everything is just a flood of emotions; tenderness, love, arousal, desire, want.

[somekindofspaceuncle]

No, you.

Ah.

A-ahhh.

Too good. He doesn't deserve this, he knows he doesn't, he never has, never shall.

But Ziggy wasn't stupid. So, what the quiznak was happening?

Nevermind all that!

Now is now, and now he -- he pins Ziggy to the floor, harder, and says,

"Shut up. You're being too loud."

And he lowers himself on Ziggy.

I love you, I want you, you beautiful, beautiful angel.

[ziggyplayedguitar]

Ziggy moans under the pressure of Hiroki's weight. "Shut up? Should I stop screaming your name?"

Ziggy squirms under him because he can't help it. This is too arousing to stay still. "I love you too."

"And I want you." Ziggy's words come low and breathless. "...are you going to take me as your girl or your boy?"

And Ziggy hoped both. He's quickly getting used to offering over all of himself, all of his body to pleasure. It is safe with Hiroki and that is intoxicating. He's never been safe enough to just relent completely to someone else.