The Elephant in the Room

[ziggyplayedguitar]

Things were unbelievable. Ziggy was high on life, so much so that even his cocaine use diminished. Reduced to something at a recreation, instead of life sustaining. A mere week and his drinking was all but gone, except whiskey in his coffee, always. 

They'd come to a routine. Ziggy recording, Hiroki training, sharing meals together. They both could cook and that was unexpected, though Ziggy couldn't place why he found it odd. Importantly, Hiroki indulged Ziggy's craving for unending contact. And the sex! When they touched it didn't stop until they were falling asleep, worn out by the desperate need for each other. It was unrestrained as they abandoned themselves to each other. Someone was getting close to satiating his desire for sex and intimacy. It wasn't all day like Ziggy had imagined he would need, daily, perhaps but the idea that it didn't need to be so all consuming to be satisfying was new to the Anthean. 

And he didn't have to hide. Since Hiroki returned, Ziggy hadn't put his contacts back in. He could let the Anthean part of himself be exposed, be safe with it known, and, if he was honest with himself, it seemed that Hiroki treasured him more because of it. There was  perhaps something to be said for acceptance he could never find on Earth. That acceptance went both ways. Ziggy accepted the fact that his lover was a dead clone, but the Anthean had never seen him as just a clone anyway.

Those thoughts brought questions that had Ziggy glancing up at his lover from where they lay on the couch together. They needed to talk about the elephant, or rather giant robot, metaphorically in the room with them. 

"Hiroki?" He asked quietly, not really wanting to disturb him while he read. 

Comments

[ziggyplayedguitar]

"I've told you that I'm a pacifist." Ziggy doesnt get the importance of what's said exactly.

"Our second home?" Ziggy asks since his apartment was the home they had together first.

[somekindofspaceuncle]

Hiroki nods, and, in a one swoop motion, pulls Ziggy into a kiss.

Yes, Ziggy. Exactly so.

While he's kissing him.

[ziggyplayedguitar]

Ziggy pours himself into that kiss.

"I love you." it comes as mental words, emotions, his very presence bleeds those words.

[somekindofspaceuncle]

Hiroki pours himself into it, too.

Ziggy might now noticed that, even though it's not visible (but can be felt), Hiroki's spirit had been badly damaged. Can spirits be scarred? This one is, and when Hiroki shares himself with Ziggy, Ziggy can, surely, feel that. Like one would feel hundreds of distinct, jagged scars. Each one from the battle he had once waged against Honerva's possession.

I love you more, Princess Ziggy. Ziggy! I love you. I adore you. I'll always cherish you. You're perfect. And worry naught, love. I'll have a body again. I can feel.

[ziggyplayedguitar]

Ziggy feels those jagged places in his spirit, touches them gently. As if on instinct his spirit twists with them, looking for ways to mend them, stitch them back together like fabric. He's not even exactly conscious of it, but his spirit is looking to heal his partner even if it must use some of its own energy. Ziggy will recharge over time.


"Does that mean you're my prince charming?" Ziggy teases quietly. "I love you and I am here for you no matter what you need."

And goodnight! Will write next after yours tomorrow or. IDK. XD

[somekindofspaceuncle]

With Ziggy's power, and love, these many spots and holes inside can slowly be healed. To Hiroki's surprise.

"Nah, just a paladin. In your service. Sworn to you. On my very soul."

"I know. And, Ziggy. Have I ever--- thanked you? So many times I should've. So many. But I've never. I must've been quiznaking trying my hardest to make you despise me. Did you know? I tried. Forgive me? I'm so---"

"Thanks. Thank you."

[ziggyplayedguitar]

"You're charming enough to be a prince." Ziggy tells him as he feels what his spirit is doing. He wants that and encourages the process. Even if it could be done all at once, Ziggy doesn't have the energy for it. He will have to undertake this slowly, but he will work on it when he can.

"I know why you did and I forgive you for it. Many people are nervous and try to push people away for various reasons. What matters is that we've made it here and we're together."

[somekindofspaceuncle]

Hiroki feels this. He shudders. He's never hoped for this. Not even once. But he craves it.

It's almost like being reborn. He'll be more stable now, soon, outside, he can feel that.

His blue-white glow instensifies.

He gazes at Ziggy adoringly and asks, "You would do this for me? You know you don't have to. I'm not asking you to. I never expected you to. You know I'll love you whether you do this or not. This isn't the reason you're here."

Then. Forgiveness. Ziggy's forgiven him. What a relief.

"Yes. Yes, that's all that matters."

"I'm glad you're someone who'd never hurt the innocent, Ziggy. Because otherwise, no matter how much I needed you, you'd be my enemy."

"You're not, and that's what matters, too."

[ziggyplayedguitar]

"I know you didn't ask." Ziggy sighs and places a kiss on Hiroki's forehead. "I do this because I love you and want you to be healthy. I can'theal a physical body, but this one, the spirit, he can."

"I can barely hurt anyone and if I do, there are immediate effects." Ziggy canimagine hurting children. "There are a lot of people back home that believe I am hurting people."

[somekindofspaceuncle]

"Don't love me too much, I don't want to tire you," Hiroki says, grinning. "I'll settle for You loving me a little, just to be safe."

But there's an underlying truth to it and Ziggy knows that, too. Fear of Ziggy draining himself. With time, Hiroki will know that won't happen.

"Mhm. I don't like hurting others, but, it's different for you, I've noticed. More-- palpable. I see."

"Oh!"

The White Lion nods at Hiroki, who looks-- embarassed.

"Listen, I should go. I have a body now. Thanks to Atlas, Allura, and-- you?? Huh. That tracks. Yeah."

"Let's meet after. See the IGF-Atlas in the meantime, okay? Allura can give you a tour. You'll like it, I hope. I'm safe, so - why not?"

[ziggyplayedguitar]

Ziggy gives him a big hug. "I'll love you as much as I want."

And he was so deeply in love with him. Ziggy knows he might sleep, or need to do something to recharge his emotions after a stint of healing but he will be no worse for wear. Besides, one of the best ways Hedlund to recuperate is sex, and that is something they both can enjoy.

Ziggy gives him another kiss. "I'll see you soon, and if not.. I'll come in here and find you."

[somekindofspaceuncle]

Heh.

"You do that, my hero. Sure. Come. If you ever come here, you'll find me. In our place. Right here. Hmm. Maybe I just won't let Shiro come right here, ever. There are many places here. This one is now ours. Our secret place."

That Allura knows, but, apart from that, sure.

Then, the White Lion and Hiroki disappear.

Ziggy's not thrown out. Just as the young man said, it's Ziggy's home, now, too.

As a pilot, as far as Atlas on the whole is concerned.

In other words, Ziggy may stay or leave, whenever he wants to.

[ziggyplayedguitar]

"It might be a good idea to keep this space for us." Ziggy can think of all sorts of reasons for that.

He watches them disappear and doesn't panic this time. He knows that it isn't permanent now. He does linger for awhile after so that he can memorize the place.

Then he too leaves, slowly waking up in the real world. It takes some time to get his bearings. He is tired now. Still he gets up ready to explore this ship.

Enough work for today. :) might as well write a few tags.

[making_sacrifices]

When Ziggy wakes up, he's in a bed. Allura's sitting at the bedsite. Her Altean mice are here, too, and are playing with Ziggy's hair.

She sees absolutely no reason to stop them.

"You're awake!" She exclaims happily. "I thought you might be injured, but, no, it's not so bad, now is it? Welcome aboard Atlas. I don't know if he's already given you a tour, but if not, I'll be happy to do so."

[ziggyplayedguitar]

"It's you." Ziggy tells the mice that he can feel in his hair. "Are you the ones that chewed up my fingers?"

Ziggy then turns his attention to Allura. "No broken bones."

That was the big worry with his body. "No. There were other things to take care of."

Ziggy sits up but he feels woozy and tired.

Friends! <3 (or so Allura thinks)

[making_sacrifices]

Chulatt mentally assents. The other mice - and all are there - want nothing to do with that. Not them! Only Chulatt was biting!

Allura laughs lightly.

Her hair's in a bun and she's wearing her pink Galaxy Garrison uniform.

"I never knew you were all friends. That's lovely!"

Ziggy and them. All the Altean mice.

"I see. So that's why Atlas wants me to show you around right now. He's pushy, even."

Fond exasperation.

Allura could have a hundred shields up, it's palpable that she could, but she has none up, right now.

[ziggyplayedguitar]

"Sort of friends." Ziggy smiles. "They are persistent."

Ziggy covered his mouth to yawn. "He's why I'm tired, but it's worth it."

Allura could easily feel that the Anthean is exhausted from something but standing anyway. "He made me his pilot, I better learn."

He's ready to go when Allura is.

[making_sacrifices]

"They are. They're my friends. They used to be ordinary Altean mice, but they had spent ten thousand years with me in a pod, and, well, you see. Things happened. Mental connection with me."

Allura stands up and offers Ziggy a hand.

"I thought that's what happened. Hiroki's chosen you. Atlas activated all of a sudden. Yes, it's on now, for the first time since landing in Nexus."

"A year ago, I'd've been a little envious. Once upon a time, I was full of herself, sure that the Red Lion would let me pilot her. Because my Father was the original Red Paladin, I thought Red would let me pilot, too. But Red rejected me, and I - it hurt me, thinking she rejected me. But it wasn't like that. I know now, she knew this wouldn't be for the best. Not for me, nor for others. In others words, I'm not a Red Paladin, as you surely know. I understand why, now. And I'm glad."

"Sorry, that's irrelevant. Let's show you everything and see if you're a quick learner."

The Princess is ready to go now, just checking if Ziggy is, too. He's been through an ordeal, after all, it seems.

[ziggyplayedguitar]

ziggy will definitely pet the mice if they allow it. He does like animals.

He listens to her ans shakes off the idea about piloting. "I'm not sure what good a pacifist is for piloting a war machine." He comments while pausing to take a breath. He's still very woozy. "That's not why I'm tired. I was repairing his ..." he forgot thier word for it ".. his spirit."

He'd sleep probably tonight, maybe the first time Hiroki would see him actually sleep more than a few minutes. He did manage a smile. "My father's an engineer and pilot, and my mother is a medical researcher. After two species' space technology, a third should be easier to learn."

Ziggy's a little cocky but not pushy, more playful about it.

[making_sacrifices]

A hologram of Hiroki suddenly appears. And laughs lightly.

"That's my Ziggy! Of course you'll learn, lightspeed fast."

Allura frowns, and says, "don't encourage him, can't you see he's tired?"

"Sorry, sorry!"

Still smiling.

"Ziggy, as Princess Allura has probably already told you, this is the living quarters. You know, just bedrooms of all the crewmembers. This one is Tavo's," he says.

Princess Allura smiles a little, and says, "No, I haven't managed to tell him a thing yet."

"Oh."

"But you can. Go on."

"Actually, I'm kind of a little busy right now? See you guys later. Love you always! Bye."

And he disappears.

Allura just shakes her head and turns back to Ziggy.

"That's amazing. Your parents, I mean. My Mother was a priestess, and my Father was an alchemist."

[ziggyplayedguitar]

Ziggy nearly turns to hug him before he realizes it's a hologram.

"I'm fine." Ziggy tells Allura.

The disappearance makes Ziggy shudder, even if he knows Hiroki will be back.

"My father is human, but my mother is from another planet. They're both very smart though." He's exhausted but he's ready to be shown around. Besides, if he's going to sleep, a rare thing, he's waiting until Hiroki is back so he can curl up with his lover.

[making_sacrifices]

"If you feel you're fine, let's go."

Why not, let's go. At last, they leave Tavo's room. So now they pass near the rooms of other Alteans from Lotor's Colony. In other words, they pass a few other bedrooms, all of them very well kept. Most of Alteans are no slobs. If Ziggy's very focused, he might feel some miniscule traces of Honerva in those. Like a passing memory.

"Both of my parents are from Altea," Allura continues talking. The mice, meanwhile, ask Ziggy for more pets. "It's a lush, beautiful planet, I'd invite you there sometime. Coran governs Altea now, ever since my passing."

[ziggyplayedguitar]

Ziggy has no problem carrying the mice with him as they walk.

"Maybe when I'm done on Earth." The mention of her death makes Ziggy look down. He knows he has to die, soon probably, for his family to have an Earth to go to, for both species to live.

[making_sacrifices]

They're in the hall now. Ziggy might distantly feel the hum of the Atlas. Not a sound, a feeling. Calling Allura and Ziggy.

"When you're done on Earth, certainly!" the Princess says.

"Hmm? What's wrong?" she asks.

Don't you tell her it's nothing, young man.

[ziggyplayedguitar]

"It's nothing." Ziggy shakes her off and smiles.

"I'm just tired. My people don't sleep and it feels strange." It's not exactly a lie, just avoiding the topic.