ziggyplayedguitar | The Elephant in the Room

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The Elephant in the Room

Things were unbelievable. Ziggy was high on life, so much so that even his cocaine use diminished. Reduced to something at a recreation, instead of life sustaining. A mere week and his drinking was all but gone, except whiskey in his coffee, always.

They'd come to a routine. Ziggy recording, Hiroki training, sharing meals together. They both could cook and that was unexpected, though Ziggy couldn't place why he found it odd. Importantly, Hiroki indulged Ziggy's craving for unending contact. And the sex! When they touched it didn't stop until they were falling asleep, worn out by the desperate need for each other. It was unrestrained as they abandoned themselves to each other. Someone was getting close to satiating his desire for sex and intimacy. It wasn't all day like Ziggy had imagined he would need, daily, perhaps but the idea that it didn't need to be so all consuming to be satisfying was new to the Anthean.

And he didn't have to hide. Since Hiroki returned, Ziggy hadn't put his contacts back in. He could let the Anthean part of himself be exposed, be safe with it known, and, if he was honest with himself, it seemed that Hiroki treasured him more because of it. There was perhaps something to be said for acceptance he could never find on Earth. That acceptance went both ways. Ziggy accepted the fact that his lover was a dead clone, but the Anthean had never seen him as just a clone anyway.

Those thoughts brought questions that had Ziggy glancing up at his lover from where they lay on the couch together. They needed to talk about the elephant, or rather giant robot, metaphorically in the room with them.

"Hiroki?" He asked quietly, not really wanting to disturb him while he read.

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Trust is crucial with the pilot. But yes, that's enough for now.

Of course there are doors to proper reality in Nexus, so they finally find it and Atlas goes through.

There's a bit of a... well, Hiroki's now completely in Atlas, spiritually of course, but he was also outside, by now, outside the place where Atlas had been parked, in Nexus, so now he's not outside anymore, only completely in Atlas... but that's fine, he will form again easily now when they're back in Nexus. So it's fine. So Hiroki's wholly spiritual now, only.

And they're home now... no, Nexus is also home, second home, by now, but still.

Where do you want to go? Hiroki sends the question, because, well, Atlas as a whole wouldn't think to ask. The pilot always knows where to go, doesn't he? so...

But Hiroki knows Ziggy's here for the first time.

There's so many planets I love to see... I'm not sure where first, Hiroki sends. He's not sure if all the words will get through, but, doesn't hurt to try. Maybe they will?

In the spirit realm, Ziggy walks up to Hiroki smiling. He has enough mind power to pilot and be present, though in the physical realm he probably looks quite catatonic.

Ziggy takes a moment to decide and then asks both of them. "Do you know of a jungle planet that orbits a blue star? It'd be like seeing Anthea before it was destroyed."

There's another pause and then another question. "Can you and the Atlas come to my reality? I could show you Anthea."

He knows jungle planets, and wants to suggest some, but next question catches his attention.

Voltron can cross the space between, but can Atlas? Hmm.

Thing is, Atlas isn't made from trans-reality comet.

Not sure... we could call Voltron and... Voltron can

Cross between Realities.

And he grins at seeing Ziggy, in Spirit.

"Hey, Beautiful. Shall we dance?"

Well, they are right now, aren't they? Flying is like dancing. Heh.

Ziggy is excited to realize there is a planet to see.

"I thought because the ship can go to the Nexus it could but we can wait. Maybe Black would carry both of us?"

Ziggy goes to him and embraces him. He's bright with happiness. "I think this is more intimate and close than dancing."

He's learning to be happy with this kind of contact. Though he wishes desperately for them to have a life in the real world still.

Sure Black can. I don't think Keith would mind if we took Black for a little ride.

Oh. I've never told you yet. Of Voltron and everything. Not much at least. I've told your father, but not you, yet. Wanna hear the story?

More intimate, huh? Yes...

He kisses Ziggy.

by the way. You should know. Like Zarkon told Shiro... if you die here, your body will also perish

Edited 2020-08-29 00:31 (UTC)

"Tell me later. I just want to be here with you."

Ziggy is happy to just be here with Hiroki and sail through space.

"... And if we make love here?" Ziggy grins. 'I'd rather not think about death right now. I've had enough time with those kinds of thoughts recently"

He's, of course, talking about the things that happened when he thought Hiroki was dead. This is better.

Wh-what?? Ziggy, you--

No Paladin's ever made love inside their Lion, unless there's something spicy I don't know about the original Paladins. So why don't we experiment and find out for ourselves? Although... you do know I don't have a body right this moment? I have no idea what I'd feel-

He kissess Ziggy, passionately, now.

But I wouldn't mind finding out, Love.

Yes, let's not talk of death, now, not with Ziggy.

"There's never been a paladin like me." Ziggy grins brightly. "Well, here we can be and do anything. I've flown in mindscapes before."

All he can do is moan into that kiss. His hands slide down to Hiroki's ass, pulling thier spirits together.

"Your lips still feel perfect on mine."

"True enough."

Besides, all the Paladins are incredible and special, each in their own way. It still surprises me nowadays that Black Lion let me be a Paladin, despite my origins.

"True."

"You have?"

The kiss feels incredible to Hiroki. The best one yet, maybe, somehow.

Suddenly, he shimmers and then he's naked, though functionally it makes no difference, anyway.

"Ziggy-"

I have no idea what'll happen! Let's find out?

"You are incredibly special."

"I can show you sometime." Ziggy leans into Hiroki's spirit.

Ziggy groans with pleasure as the light of thier spirits mingle at the surface.

"Hmm..." Ziggy wonders if he should tru to manifest a bed or something. "Where have you always wanted to make love? We should be able to alter the mindscape to be there."

"Maybe... I always wished I could show you the Castle of Lions. It used to be home - my first real home, really, though at the time I thought I had a home before."

Because I thought I was Shiro.

"But I think, the Castle... even if I was the clone, and maybe usurping Shiro's space, since coming to the Castle, I'd like to show the Castle to you..."

"And you know, it'd be fitting. Because the Castle of Lions is like me. In that it's been destroyed - you can blame that on Lotor - and its core, what's left of it, is what powers IGF-Atlas, too."

Hiroki smiles softly.

"So let's picture the Castle of Lions. I mean, I can do all the picturing, I'll just try not to overexert myself. And because the core is in the Atlas, it might even feel a bit real, the Castle, I mean. And let's make love there this time, why not. In my first home."

He grins. Because Ziggy's invited him home, and he wished he could do that, too.

Edited 2020-09-09 16:54 (UTC)

"Ok." Ziggy leans his head on Hiroki's shoulder. "It's very appropriate that two of the strongest things in you world have come together to make this... and as a protector."

"If you just think about it, I should be able to help you manifest it." Ziggy pushes back Hiroki's hair. "Then after, I'll take you for a walk in the Cherry Blossom Gardens in Kyoto on my Earth and lay with you beside the pond by the bridge."

His light pulsates more.

"Yes, let's go on that walk later!" Hiroki shouts, delighted.

As for the Castleship of Lions, Shiro's clone thinks, of course I can't pilot it, but I can show you everything. And I can't pilot it, because only people with Altean blood can. And I'm no Altean, unless-- no. No. No. No no no no. Don't let me make that even joke possibility, Ziggy, or I'm gonna feel sick, and Shiro would feel sick even moreso.

"See, there must be limits to black humour and I think I've just found them."

"Please, forget it."

To change the subject, Hiroki now begins visualising the Castleship. Home. He starts with his own room there. Fairly small, as all Paladin rooms, more like bedrooms, there. Walls. Bed. Sentimental personal things he hasn't seen in... how long?

"I'd rather keep my promise and take you there in the real world." Ziggy whispers as he leans sadly against Hiroki.

The mental ramblings are too confusing for Ziggy to make heads or tails about. He doesn't understand why it would make anyone sick. He isn't following along well, probably because he still doesn't know a lot of Hiroki's background.

When the visualization starts, Ziggy just offers up his energy to project the image from Hiroki's mind into the space around them. He may have to work at it at first to figure out how best to offer his energy, but soon enough he will be able to be the battery for whatever the paladin wants the space around them to look like.

Hiroki looks around, and then, from behind his bed, he pulls his black lion slippers. Because he imagined them there.

"I've missed these!" he exclaims, just giddy.

What? There are many sentimental things.

"I mean, I know it's just a memory, everything here right now, but still."

"Anyway, let's go, I'll show you around the whole Castleship. And then we can come back here."

He glances at his bed. Because, yeah. Here. But first, the tour!

"Also... thanks for the help, Ziggy. I don't think I could make all this alone. You're the best!"

Edited 2020-09-12 05:17 (UTC)

Ziggy comes to Hiroki's side grinning. "You know, you don't have to miss anything. I'd get things for you... even if I had to go to your world and pick them up."

He reaches down and takes Hiroki's hand. "Then let's go."

There's a shake of his head. "You never have to do anything alone, unless you want to. I'm always here to help you."

As they leave Shiro's room, the corridor appears as Shi--- Hiroki Shirogane remembers it.

He takes Ziggy's hand and squeezes it, tightly, just enjoying the touch. Here, he can, without any worry of hurting Ziggy by doing that.

Hiroki smiles softly.

You would, wouldn't you? Ziggy, you spoil me too much. And yet there's still almost nothing I can give you. Because anything I was and had in my life, everything I've ever liked, had then turned out to never've been mine in the first place. And it's not their fault. They're all great and amazing. It's only the fault of the witch's - the witch's lie. That I was who I thought I was.

But you-- you won't turn out to be like that, will you? I mean, not mine...

Thought somewhat desperately

I'm sorry, Ziggy. You needn't answer at all. I wish I could do something incredible for you someday. You do for me every day.

Let's go. Hiroki leads the way.

Sometimes I imagine that I'd wake up, and you wouldn't be there, Princess, because you'd finally realise I'm too broken, I'm too dangerous. And then I want to cry.

Edited 2020-09-13 05:07 (UTC)

Ziggy keeps their fingers twined together. He's always liked holding hands because it was so intimate a touch, like solidarity.

Those words though, Ziggy steps in front of Hiroki and places the palm of his free hand over his heart to stop his progress.

Hiroki, just because you like the same thing, or things, as your brother doesn't mean they aren't yours. You can like the same things.

He shakes his head at the comment before pressing a light kiss to his lips. I'm something that's all yours and never was or will be Shiro's. Everything we do, and find out you like... everything we find out about who you are under what the witch forced on you... that will always be only yours.

He does get a light laugh. You do something incredible for me every day since I met you. You accept everything about me. Maybe even love all of it, even the stuff that drives you crazy. There's nowhere I can be more all of who I am than when I'm with you.

All he can do is brush back all that long hair with gentle fingers. The only reason you'll wake up without me is because I don't sleep and I got bored.. But we're getting close. I don't know if I can but sometime I could be across the Nexus and you'd still feel me like I was at your side.

Can like the same things.

Huh.

There was a time, after death, when he wanted to reject anything and everything Shiro, in a desperate bid for own self that maybe never was.

That's... not how it works, is it? He still loves all of Voltron, each and every one of those men, women, and lions.

If some mystical self of his was to be found in rejecting all of it... then Hiroki doesn't want that self. That self would remind him too much of---

(Your own parents saw you were worthless. And I should've abandoned you, just like I did, he remembers hearing himself say, and the shock running through his very spirit at that. Who was the person saying that??? He hated that person, and he had renewed his desperate, worthless struggle against that person, back then. He had hated that person with all his heart, the person who'd try to make his loved ones bleed - in body and in spirit.

When he's realised that person was Haggar, everything made so much sense, he almost felt better...

He hates the fact that being what he is, he can, if anyone asked, say what things Honerva would tell Ziggy if she came and decided to keep no pretense. He hates those things and hopes he will never say them.)

But fortunately, there are no witches here. He, whoever that is, is alone with Ziggy, the rest of Atlas, and the White.

He almost chokes at Ziggy's words.

"All mine?"

He grabs Ziggy by the wrists and pushes him towards the wall.

"Of course I accept all of you. I love you. Ziggy, I love you."

He shoves him against the wall.

Then he blushes, as he wonders, audibly here in own spirit mindscape, if Ziggy's up for rough treatment right now. He can let go...

"All yours." Ziggy repeats.

He can't help the wave of surprise when his wrists are grabbed and he's shoved. They had been just in a very intimate and gentle discussion.

"I love you too." The words are cut off when he hits the wall. The confused surprise fades away to a moan of pleasure. He had fantasized about this kind of treatment before, deep in the recesses of his mind because in the real world he can't have it. All he can do there is revel in the fact that any show of strength gets him hot.

Here though.... "Don't stop." He all but begs when Hiroki pauses. He hadn't though about this being an option presented by the mindscape. Smiling a biting his lip, Ziggy struggles a little against the hold on his wrists. He's more flirting than trying to get away, something that is abundantly clear in this place.

Well, this is intimate, too. And something Hiroki's given up on in reality, once he's learnt that Ziggy, physically, isn't just like a human or some physically tough aliens.

Here, thogh - they could do anything.

He's just not sure if - but then Ziggy asks him, and everything's alright.

Hiroki grins.

Still not letting go, he leans closer, then lets go of one of Ziggy's hand only to kiss the palm of it passionately.

I think... you once said that you need me. Do you still need me? How much?

Maybe Hiroki will be embarassed later. But he does want to feel needed.

Ziggy feels his knees go weak from that kiss. Instantly, his palms are wet and his breathing speeds up.

I always need you. Ziggy whispers, tugging a little at his still pinned arm to start kissing Hiroki's neck and shoulder. I need your love, your touch, your warmth, your acceptance.... and right now... I need... I want you to take me. I want you to let go, love me without any worries or restraint.

Ziggy's emotions are amping up, getting loud, euphoric and pleading.

Yes. Yes, yes.

Hiroki isn't somebody who does drugs, he's not interested in them.

But hearing all this is like a huge blow. In a good way.

Hiroki moans at the kiss.

Then pushes Ziggy to the floor, and, on him, starts kissing and biting him anywhere and everywhere. Like he wants Ziggy to feel him on his whole body... er, spirit.

Ziggy does understand that his presence is addictive, like drugs, and he certainly will do everything in his power to make sure Hiroki stays hopelessly addicted.

Once pushed to the floor he starts to squirm. He can't help it under the assaults of kisses and bites. Eventually, he gets his hands on Hiroki's hair, twisting his fingers into the softeness as he's slowly reduced to little whimpers and moans of pleasure. His emotions, and here in the spirit realm even his body, is bright with love and arousal.

"Suck me." He begs. "Please." Usually Ziggy wants to give oral, and be submissive. Though here, pinned to the ground and under a rain of physical sensation the request feels more submissive than the act will be. Maybe it is the begging tone of voice.

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