The Elephant in the Room

[ziggyplayedguitar]

Things were unbelievable. Ziggy was high on life, so much so that even his cocaine use diminished. Reduced to something at a recreation, instead of life sustaining. A mere week and his drinking was all but gone, except whiskey in his coffee, always. 

They'd come to a routine. Ziggy recording, Hiroki training, sharing meals together. They both could cook and that was unexpected, though Ziggy couldn't place why he found it odd. Importantly, Hiroki indulged Ziggy's craving for unending contact. And the sex! When they touched it didn't stop until they were falling asleep, worn out by the desperate need for each other. It was unrestrained as they abandoned themselves to each other. Someone was getting close to satiating his desire for sex and intimacy. It wasn't all day like Ziggy had imagined he would need, daily, perhaps but the idea that it didn't need to be so all consuming to be satisfying was new to the Anthean. 

And he didn't have to hide. Since Hiroki returned, Ziggy hadn't put his contacts back in. He could let the Anthean part of himself be exposed, be safe with it known, and, if he was honest with himself, it seemed that Hiroki treasured him more because of it. There was  perhaps something to be said for acceptance he could never find on Earth. That acceptance went both ways. Ziggy accepted the fact that his lover was a dead clone, but the Anthean had never seen him as just a clone anyway.

Those thoughts brought questions that had Ziggy glancing up at his lover from where they lay on the couch together. They needed to talk about the elephant, or rather giant robot, metaphorically in the room with them. 

"Hiroki?" He asked quietly, not really wanting to disturb him while he read. 

Comments

[ziggyplayedguitar]

Ziggy holds a bit tighter. "I thought I lost you again."

Ziggy smirks. "I don't care if he sees anything. I'm not ashamed of myself or anything I do with you." Ziggy leans in to whisper. "Though, I'd hate for him to get jealous of how well I take care of you."

He's teasing of course, and flirting. "You might not be a paladin like this any more, but you're my paladin. My protector and knight of heroism and chivalry. You can always be my paladin Hiroki."

Ziggy knew it had a different meaning but the word still held true. The title makes him giggle and burys his face in Hiroki's neck. "My dad's going to be proud.. and so jealous. You know, you should bring my parents here. My dad would be like a school boy in this thing."

He hasn't seen it yet but he's starting to sense the vastness of the ship.

[somekindofspaceuncle]

"Let my brother be envious, sure," Hiroki Shirogane teases. "He didn't even fall in love in you when he saw you! Can you believe it? Must be blind."

"Parents are welcome aboard IGF-Atlas anytime. Full clearance."

Some blue light, like a strange blue firefly, but not quite, suddenly lands on Ziggy's nose. It might tickle. And he might see a memory of a certain roleplay gaming session.

When the memory passes, Hiroki's smiling.

"Ziggy? I'm glad you came."

[ziggyplayedguitar]

"Well, I did hit him." Ziggy smiles and sneaks in another kiss. "Besides, he wouldn't have a chance. I'm already in love with someone else."

Ziggy takes the memory and it triggers one of his own. Of his father much younger siting on the floor with him when he's a toddler, teaching him to play checkers on a board drawn on the floor. His dad's hair longer and pale blond, sort of curly, and even Ziggy's baby hair has a bit of curl to it.

"I'll always try to find you." He presses thier foreheads together and the energy is there, open and free to feed into Hiroki's spirit.

[somekindofspaceuncle]

"The only thing you could've hurt was his heart."

Oh. Little Ziggy. So cute!

"Most adorable."

Hiroki shies away at that, however.

"I won't drain your Quintessence, Ziggy. I won't. I'm not Honerva!"

[ziggyplayedguitar]

Ziggy catches on to what he's seeing and smiles. "I was only 2 I think."

The comment though confuses him. "What do you mean? You aren't draining me."

At least as Ziggy could tell.

He has no idea things are very different with this.

[somekindofspaceuncle]

"Cute."

"What do you mean, Ziggy? If I take from you, won't I drain you?"

"It's what she does. From planets. From people. From universes. It's what Lotor does, too, he's no better, after all. I had been so sure he was so unlike his mother. But he's just like Zarkon and just like Honerva!"

"Is this-- different?"

Confusion.

"No. No, I won't do it, I won't do it. I won't do it. I won't do it again. Unless-- that's not it-?"

Hope. Weak, then gone. In desbelief.

"I won't do this!"

Horror. Pain. Confusion.

Ziggy has to figure out what is happening.

[ziggyplayedguitar]

"You're not taking anything from ...." He's so confused, trying to figure out what is going on.

"This is what my people do." Ziggy is unsure what is so wrong. "You're not hurting me."

He stops, suddenly realizing that his partner doesn't understand. How to tell him that this is ok and have him believe. "It's ok that we share spirits, just like our emotions."

Yup! :)

[somekindofspaceuncle]

"I mean... Paladins give a little of their own Quintessence to the Lions, willingly, and that's good, but it's tiring. Can be exhausting for hours afterwards."

"Is it like that? I- I won't hurt you? I won't take too much? If I take too much--"

The space's pulsating all around them. Confusion. Curiosity. Hope.

"Wait a tick. Share??"

[ziggyplayedguitar]

"I doesn't tire me." Ziggy shrugs smiling. "It feels good to share it with you."

Ziggy isn't sure how to explain more precisely. "Yes. It's sharing and.. i think it's related to how my forehead glows around you."

1/2

[somekindofspaceuncle]

The space lights up more, and so does Hiroki. And he smiles.

"O-oooh. So it's sharing, and it's not even a little tiring, and not-"

"Not the other way, you know, the one I've told Major Tom about, you can ask him. I don't even remember whence----"

Suddenly, Hiroki looks sick. Not at anything here. At a memory. One he didn't remember till now. Until right now.

Oops late. Goodnight. 2/2

[somekindofspaceuncle]

Ziggy might see a memory. Suddenly.

He'll see Haggar, and know that it's her. Her.

See her walking away.

And then, he'll see what she's just walked away from. Several pods, with men inside, one in each one. And each one-

Well. Hiroki would look just like that, if he had no scars and if he suddenly aged one hundred and ten or something years in a moment, maybe.

And that's probably the least wrong thing about how they look.

Utterly drained of life.

That's what he might see. Slowly, at exactly the same times as Hiroki struggles, trying NOT to remember it freshly, suddenly.

A repressed memory from 'childhood'.

When the memory passes, Hiroki suddenly looks catatonic.

[ziggyplayedguitar]

Ziggy shakes his head. "It's more like laying against someone you love when you need to warm up after being in the cold."

Ziggy gets the memory and because they are so closely binding in this spiritual space, can't look away. He doubles up and feels dizzy from knowing what had to have happened. He does recover more quickly here but he might actually cough like he's going to vomit in the real world where Allura is still with him.

After a moment he stands up straight and notices Hiroki. "Are you alright?" He gently touches him to try to get him to come around.

[somekindofspaceuncle]

"That's not tiring at all, quite the opposite. Amazing. And cozy."

Smile.

However, after the memory. When Ziggy aks if he's fine, Hiroki can only look at him blankly, for now.

He still doesn't remember everything, from his early life. Most likely the reason is, well, because his brain's not trying to kill him.

Hiroki's shaking. Yes, here, in spirit, he's shaking.

Outside, in the material realm, in Nexus, Allura might be slightly concerned about Ziggy's cough. And so, she wants to know...

Her voice reaches into inside Atlas, so both Ziggy and Hiroki can hear her, somewhere in the vastness of the space, clearly.

Is everything alright? I'm not sure which one of you will hear me, so. You can wake up or turn on for 'yes'?

[ziggyplayedguitar]

"Yes, It makes me feel closer to you." Ziggy confirms, though it could make him exhausted after awhile, it wasn't like the actions Hiroki had described.

He notices the shaking and gently hugs his lover, wrapping him up in the warm, loving, hopefulness that is Ziggy's spiritual being.

Ziggy doesn't know Allura, or her voice, and his first reaction is to shield Hiroki from the presence.

"Who are you?" Ziggy's mind comes back to her, defensive and protective.

1/2

[somekindofspaceuncle]

Embraced like that, Hiroki begins to cry, which, well.

He's not staring blankly anymore, at least.

2/2

[making_sacrifices]

"Oh. My apologies."

She appears a few steps away from them. Her spirit radiant. And emanating some concern.

On the horizon, next to Earth, in a reasonable distance, another planet appears.

"My name is Allura. It's a pleasure to- oh."

She notices them more clearly. Ziggy and Hiroki.

She comes closer. Touches Hiroki Shiro if Ziggy will let her, or just stays close.

"What scared you?" she asks, gently.

Hiroki whimpers, and whispers,

"Why am I the one she chose? Tell me."

Allura shakes her head, and says,

"I'm sorry if that's something you..." she hesitates. "Sorry to say this, but, Honerva never chose you. She only saw that your spirit is strong. Perhaps strong enough. For her plans."

"...oh...I'm glad..."

Hiroki turns back to Ziggy, now, slightly calmer.

"Ziggy, this is Allura, my family, the Blue Paladin, and my crew member. Allura, this is Ziggy, my beloved, and a Paladin of Atlas."

[ziggyplayedguitar]

Ziggy just holds and comforts Hiroki. Since he is stronger here he can easily hold him up of he needs to lean in heavily.

In theory, if planets are representing of the persons present there should be a third one, uniformly tan in color with swirled ripples of black and gray in the atmosphere from the winds.

Ziggy doesn't stop her from touching Hiroki but he's pinning her with an intense gaze. The golden light on his forehead flaring protectively. He's a pacifistic Anthean but he's also human enough to be aggressive if absolutely needed.

Ziggy only nods to Allura, unwilling toblet go if Hiroki and still wary. He knows from his cousin's experience that even close friends can turn on people. That has added to his already paranoid nature. However, he's also not particularly unfriendly.

[somekindofspaceuncle]

There probably are three planets there now, indeed.

"I'm glad you came," Hiroki tells Allura.

"Where is your body?" Allura asks.

"Ah, um. I was tired," he replies.

Allura looks at Ziggy a bit sceptically, wondering if he was doing something particularly exhausting.

"Ziggy," she says. "I don't know how to put it, but your-"

Hiroki suddenly shakes his head, but Ziggy might still hear that she was going to say husband

"...fiance? Is still recovering. He needs some rest."

"But-"

"Don't you?"

"Nn. Ziggy helps now."

"Oh. Alright."

Hiroki turns back to Ziggy, and utters, "Sorry."

[ziggyplayedguitar]

Even fiance gets a raised brow but they were dating, it could be something with the culture.

He does take in what is being said. "Why don't you sit here with me? I can stay here for a long time because of my mother's blood."

He doesn't know that Allura is holding his body still.

Woke up for a moment to drink water etc. Might as well write a tag. :)

[somekindofspaceuncle]

Allura looks slightly confused at first, but then, she smiles.

Hiroki grins, sparkles (yes, literally), and tells Ziggy, "Sure! I wasn't sure if you didn't have to go back outside. Please, stay."

Then, the young man turns to Allura, and asks, softly, but Ziggy can still hear that, "Lay Ziggy down in a bed."

Allura smiles and asks, "Perhaps Tavo's?"

"Sounds good."

Allura nods, waves bye (Hiroki waves back), and suddenly disappears in a flash of light. And sparkles. So does Altea in the distance.

"I didn't tell princess Allura to take some comfiest pillow for Ziggy," Hiroki whispers.

Hiroki turns back to Ziggy.

"Now that you're in good hands. Where were we?"

[ziggyplayedguitar]

Ziggy waves bye to Allura as well before turning his attention back to the man in his arms. "I think i was telling you it's OK if we share energy."

[somekindofspaceuncle]

The young man looks (and feels) conflicted.

He closes his eyes and seems to breathe in. Then, he opens them and looks straight into Ziggy's.

"Okay," Hiroki Shirogane says, solemnly, "we can. Since I trust you from now on, Ziggy."

[ziggyplayedguitar]

Ziggy meets his gaze with a smile. "We can sit here and rest, and you can see what I mean. If you're still uncomfortable, I can stop."

[somekindofspaceuncle]

"You already know my darkest secrets. You can't make me uncomfortable if you try."

"There's something I've never told you. I was unsure about coming back to Nexus. What if I'm needed and can't make it back home on time, while I'm off in Nexus?"

Hiroki smiles softly. And sparkles. The Earth in the horizon lights up as if it's the Sun itself.

"But then, Shiro told me to go, to be with the one I love."

"What did you even tell him?? I've never asked."

[ziggyplayedguitar]

Ziggy frowns at the question. "I told him you stole his body and didn't care what happened to you, that none of them did because they never tried to help you."

Ziggy cuddled against Hiroki. "I might have said other things. I don't remember. It hurt so much to hear i lost you again I passed out."

That was the truth and that conversation was what sent him down the path to overdosing.