ziggyplayedguitar | The Elephant in the Room

"Yeah?"

Hiroki turns to him slightly, while not closing the comic yet.

First few days, he was fretting over Ziggy... well, who wouldn't, when their beloved tried to kill himself?

However, somehow, now he no longer worried.

Maybe because Ziggy seemed so full of life now for some reason, that it was impossible to imagine him trying to take his own life again.

No, he couldn't, again. Shirogane just couldn't believe he could.

So he no longer fretted over him. Not now.

"You can speak up, Ziggy. We're not in a library."

Ziggy leaned up smiling. This man. Just his oresence made him happy.

"You make me sleepy." He nestles down again at Hiroki's side. It was something since Ziggy didn't really need to sleep.

He took a moment, fingers tracing a random pattern over Hiroki's shirt.

"Do you have any plans today?"

Wait, has he forgotten something?! Were there plans?! He could've fogotten, that was a real possibility. He hoped not. That it wasn't the case here.

Slightly panicked, Hiroki replies, "I-iii don't think so??"

No, he hadn't forgotten anything. The question was one of respect,, to not impose on his lover. Ziggy's ever widening smile is testament that he is happy.

"Then, can we plan to go see the Atlas sometime today?" Ziggy's arms wrap around his chest. "I'm not feeling so tired anymore."

The ordeal of losing Hiroki and getting him back had wiped his energy out for a few days but things were getting back to normal.

Hiroki snaps to attention at that, and grins like a child just before Christmas or birthday. He also shines a little. Yes, literally. Ziggy's surely used to it by now, besides, it happens less and less often now. He usually avoids doing that, now, thinking it weird.

But now he's not really thinking.

Ziggy wants to meet Atlas??

"Sure!"

"Oh, and - I don't know what you'll feel, and if that's weird, I hope it's not weird, so I'll just tell you. Atlas, hmmm, you could say, how to put it, well--- he's made of Shiro, of the White Lion, and of my self. And of Allura's crown, but really, don't ask me to explain."

Anyway, Hiroki sure wants to show Ziggy, yes.

Edited 2020-08-03 08:28 (UTC)

Ziggy giggles, burying his face, playfully, in Hiroki's chest.

"You're a resurrected clone and I'm a half-alien empath, it's always going to be wierd... and beautiful."

He leans up and takes a quick kiss from Hiroki's lips. "You can finish this issue if you want."

He snuggles back into his lover's side. Surely, Hiroki can feel how extraordinarily happy Ziggy is.

"Why do you glow?" He pauses and then continues. "It's beautiful."

Edited 2020-08-03 10:08 (UTC)

"I think I'll finish, I'm curious - whoa, though-- if you do this, I might get distracted."

Heh.

"By a very distracting person."

He kisses him back.

"Aa, the light? It's just my Quintessence. My, hm, spirit?"

Why, huh?

"It feels good. I think I'm healing. If you asked me a year ago if one can put together an utterly broken glass, or something, I'm no good at methaphors, I'd have said no, but nowadays, I'm not so sure."

Smiles.

It really does, at that. Feel nice. It does now.

Edited 2020-08-05 08:13 (UTC)

"I can't help that I'm irresistible." Ziggy grins at him. "Or that I'm hopelessly in love with you."

And it did feel hopeless, not that he wanted to stop, not a bit. Ziggy reached up, touching his skin where it is glowing.

"I'll help with all the little pieces even if it cuts my fingers." Ziggy responded to the metaphor with a kiss to his chest. "Sometimes you find a glass beautiful enough to spend all the time in the world gently putting the pieces back because it is better than any of the others, even the seeming duplicates of it."

Ziggy's not quite sure if he was flirting or decaring his love, maybe for him they were the same. "You make me glow sometimes, my forehead. I've never had anyone cause that to happen."

"I hope you know I don't deserve you at all," Hiroki utters, almost smiling, and leaning into all that.

"Which, I guess, means you're a gift. And I can only give what little I have in return, huh? But you know that already," he says, and then kisses the palm of his hand, just lightly.

"It does, right... I've seen it glow. What does it mean?"

Edited 2020-08-05 10:34 (UTC)

"Maybe I'm the one that doesn't deserve you?" He says while wrapping his arms around Hiroki.

"You're enough, just as you are." Ziggy counters but then that kiss. He has to whisper breathlessly. "Don't start that unless you're looking to get undressed."

It still makes Ziggy reel after so long having to hide his alien self. It felt amazing to have someone indulge those desires, someone he can trust.

"I.. I don't know." He really didn't know and had never seen it happen to other Antheans either. "It feels like I'm trying to hug you or something but with my mind. I think... I don't know.. and I can't control it. It just happens sometimes."

"Oh."

To hug him with his spirit, maybe?

Very unlike fighting Zarkon in spirit, for sure.

But if one can punch and kick, it only makes sense one can hug.

Hmmm.

"Are you shy?" The clone asks, teasingly. "About not physical stuff? Just hug me. I'm here. And can hug you. I only ever punched or loosely connected there, in spurit, but I wouldn't punch you. So if ever... go ahead."

Edited 2020-08-05 11:41 (UTC)

"No, I'm not shy!" Ziggy protested among giggles. The giggles were his nerves. He wasn't shy about the mental connection but there were things about Hiroki that did make him feel shy. He hadn't forgotten that he'd ask to marry him.

"I don't know how." That was close to the truth. "I can ask my mom how it works. I'm sure she would have done it with my father."

His hand drifted over Hiroki's chest. "I only really feel it when we're having sex. I'll try to remember but...god, do you make it hard for me to even think."

Ziggy loved intimacy and sex but with Hiroki it was something different, especially now that he was getting into the rhythm of pleasure both his human and alien parts. He wasn't sure he could think or remember enough to try and work on it."

Was he pressuring Ziggy for more intimacy than...?

"It's fine, you don't have to. You never have to. We can stick to just. Everything you like. I like it, too, so..."

He does like it all. With his Ziggy.

"I want to. I .. you just feel so good that I can't promise I'll remember to do anything." Ziggy leaned into Hiroki, nuzzling his face into the curve of his neck. "I want everything with you. I want so much more with you than I've ever wanted. I don't even know what to do about what I feel sometimes."

"I don't know, either, really. I just, I just want everything good in all the realities for you. But what if I'm not somebody who can give you that? I don't want anything less than everything you wish for, for you. I want--"

"I want you to be happy."

He blushes and glows a little. Turns away.

"A-anyway, let's go see Atlas? What if..."

"What if then you decide I'm too much of a weirdo? You can still change your mind, no pressure. You know that. If you ever no longer want me, don't take pity on me or- well."

He's half-kidding.

Half.

And I really want him to see IGF-Atlas, he thinks. Why? I really want... why? I don't know. Not quite.

A need for... for what? Maybe someday he'll understand himself. First, he'll have to accept that he's not quite a shiro, or no understanding will come, he thinks.

Still. He knows what he wants, even if he has no idea why. He wants Ziggy on Atlas if possible, if it's alright... Yes. He wants Ziggy to be aboard Atlas, just for a moment is enough.

Why?

Who knows.

It's selfish, probably. So selfish. He wanted it, but...

Well, Ziggy asked about it, so maybe it's no longer too selfish.

"I'm just kidding."

And Shirogane moves a little, relaxes, and gives a kiss, to Ziggy's forehead.

"Just. Let's get ready and go?"

Edited 2020-08-05 13:54 (UTC)

"Hiroki." Ziggy leans up with his elbows on his chest. "If we're together it isn't about I. It's we. We should be happy and do everything. I'm not used to thinking that way either."

Ziggy starts laughing and kisses his cheek. "Maybe I like weirdos and it will just make you hotter?"

Ziggy doesn't think there's much that would make him not like Hiroki, certainly not anything like this. It would take time to adjust but there was so much he was already trying to adjust to.

Ziggy smiles at him because this feels so right. He's never had anyone intimate he could just be all of himself with. "You're not going anywhere until I get a proper kiss."

He's teasing, flirting because he's so happy that he doesn't know how else to respond. He has to wonder if he's still a little high off the adrenaline of getting his lover back from death.

"Just a kiss? That's very modest of you. But, good, if we don't go, we might just never go, and spend all day here. And I really want to introduce you."

Kisses him. Probably more than once. A few times at least. But, then, thinks about going, seriously. Or they might just stay in bed.

And he's not kidding, he wants to show Atlas, especially now that Ziggy doesn't mind seeing him.

"And Ziggy, I'm happy every day. It's such a wonderful feeling, waking up everyday clearheaded and with no headaches, pure bliss, really. How could I not be happy? And with you, at that. I have more than I've ever dreamt of. Happy? I think I'm ecstatic nowadays. Having no witches around will do that, for any clone. Purely ecstatic."

He tries not to giggle.

And, yeah, getting back from death is a hell of a drug. And getting somebody else back from it? Must feel even much better, the young clone would think. He doesn't quite know what Ziggy's thinking, but still.

"I'd spend all day here with you." And that is exactly why he kept it to a kiss... or several kisses. He falls passionately into all of them.

Ziggy's smile falters when the list of why Hiroki is happy has so little to do with his presence. He's terrified that he will leave because most people did. They might spend a few days or a week with him and then go. He was more a bragging right to the people he wanted close to, rarely did they want what he did. It was one of the reasons he just accepted his companionship would only be sex and nothing more. Usually that was all people gave him. Now that he has a hint of something more he's afraid of being thrown away. Hiroko no doubt can feel the spike of fear and worry as Ziggy sits up.

He glances at Hiroki before standing; shy and frightened. He wonders if he knows how attached Ziggy is getting, how hurt he would be if he left. Though he doesn't mention it. Hiroki worries enough as it is.

"I just need shoes."

And that worry, and yes, he does feel it, Hiroki winces. What's wrong?

"Hey. Hey, talk to me. Ziggy, you, what's wrong, what... you, what are you- what's-"

What are you afraid of? How does one even ask that??

You... what are you even...

He leans closer.

"Anata..."

He trails off, unsure what to even say, when Ziggy suddenly seems so worried.

Ziggy stops to stare and feels instantly even more panicked. It takes him a long time before he sits back down heavily. "You.. well when you say you're happy it's all about your headaches being gone and the witch..."

And what about me? Ziggy is sort of selfish and has a need for praise and direct attention. He just looks down and shrugs. "I've always just been a conquest for other people, something they could brag about when they're through with me."

"Because it's obvious that you make me happy, obvious like the sun rising, so there's no need to say that you make me happy, because, isn't it obvious to you already?? To you, my love? That I'm happy with you?? I love you, I love you, I--"

"What the quiznak, aren't you feeling my emotions?! Isn't that a thing you do?! If you couldn't, I'd spend probably nowadays just spend each day, every hour, just telling you I love you, you make me feel like I can-- be content with being myself, you make me glad, you--I... you... I-- what the--- no, are you for real?! Asking if I-- saying that I--- that hurts, you know!"

"I'm still a person and not just a listening antenna." Ziggy sighs and pulls his knees up into his chest when he feels the hurt. Ziggy is hurting too and he hugs his knees to his chest.

"I know you love me and I can feel it, but it would be nice to hear that I am one if the things that make your life better. I know you make mine better."

"Of course you're a person, I know you--"

"You know you're one of the most important people to me."

"Are you kidding? You make my life better every day. You're my--"

He trails off.

"Listen, you're an amazing person. And without you, I'd probably, right now, stay in the Atlas. Because why ever would I leave there?"

"But you - you make me believe I could have a life with you. Maybe it's a pipe dream. Maybe I won't exist tomorrow. And that would make you sad, so sometimes I wonder, if I should somehow make you hate me, so that you can live without me. And if I were a good person, perhaps I'd do that. But I don't want that. I don't want to do that, ever. Because I love you too much, and I'm too happy just-- just being with you. Sorry. I'm sorry."

And he suddenly smiles.

"But you see, I'm just too selfish. I'm so sorry. But I love you, and I'm happy with you, and it wouldn't matter if you stabbed me right now, or anything, you see? Do you understand?"

"And of course you're a person. See, people can only ever truly love another person. Not symbols or what have you. That'd be just a fling or whatever. You're not a fling to me. You're-- you're Ziggy, who's the most wonderful person in the world. You see?"

"And I'm sorry. I didn't think -- I just thought all my feelings are plainly visible to you. I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

He's still hurting over what Ziggy's said, a moment ago, doubting him, but he's also genuinely sorry if Ziggy felt that... all that...

and is ready to keep apologising, from the bottom of his hurt. Even if he's still feeling like Ziggy's just stabbed him or something.

Ziggy scoots over and right into Hiroki's lap to cuddle with him. "You can always be selfish about me. I want you to be."

That was the truth. Being wanted so much and so loved was better than drugs. This was what he had always craved and never really knew. "I'm sorry if I hurt you. I never want to. It's just... well... when you're famous you get used to no one staying around and they say and even feel things that fade so quickly."

He was trying to explain himself at least. "I think you're the first person I've been intimate with that ... well.. hasnt treated me like an object or a whore... or..."

Ziggy just leaned against him, fear rising in his emotions because of memories, assaults on his person. There had been so many in just a short time. He turns to look at Hiroki, stroking his hair.

"I can feel plainly but sometimes it's nice to hear too, just like you probably want to hear me say how much I love you even though you can feel my emotions too."

He leans in pressing thier foreheads together. "I don't want to hurt you but sometimes... i guess I can't help it because of what was done to me."

"Okay."

"It's alright if you hurt me, I don't mind, just please, please, don't be sad, and please, don't doubt my love for you, I'd rather you killed me, you see? I'd rather--"

"And I'm sorry. I'm so, so, so, so sorry, I didn't even think. I'm sorry."

"But, please-- do anything to me, but don't doubt me. I-- I'm here because -- I'm here because --- listen, do you think I'd have any reason to leave the spirit of Atlas here in Nexus, but to be with the one I love?"

"But if you can't believe I love you, then... then why should I be here, Ziggy?"

Hiroki Shirogane takes a deep breath. Hair strokes feel nice. But, wait, what has Ziggy just said?!

Hiroki's voice is harsh now, when he utters, "Don't tell me who had treated you like that, unless you want them very, very dead. If you do, tell me."

Anger. Hatred. For such a loving person - there's lots of love in Hiroki Shirogane - there's also mounds of hatred somewhere inside, shoved away, just waiting for a reason to rise, somehow.

Right now it's directed at all the people who had hurt Ziggy, whoever those people might be.

Crush them. Grind them into pieces..

Own thoughts.

Shiro's clone is now looking at Ziggy intensely, waiting if Ziggy will tell him who's hurt him.

"No, it's not. It's never ok to hurt people, especially the one's you love, but sometimes it happens accidently because something is misunderstood." Ziggy was adamant about the not hurting people... though he thinks about the witch who hurt Hiroki and decides she doesn't count.

"I do believe you love me and that I make you happy. I just.. well... Just because I can read it in you .. that doesn't mean I don't want to hear you say it too sometimes. It makes me happy to hear you say it even if I already know it's true."

That wave of aggression and hate makes Ziggy groan like he's sick and lean against Hiroki. When it gets most intense little trembles pass though his body. He can feel the nausea rising in his stomach. "It's ok...just.. i don't feel good."

He doesn't under the blinding rage he's feeling.

"You believe me? I'm glad."

He smiles, so relieved, just so relieved, but then, his smile falters when Ziggy seems unwell.

Hiroki panics. Was that his doing? Ziggy, Ziggy couldn't stand bad, negative feelings like these, could he? And he was doing something like that right now--!!

The thing that attacked you--

He remembers hearing, very distantly. Very, very distantly. From far, far, so far away.

When?

The thing that attacked you...

Hiroki winces.

"Forgive me. I'm not good for you, Ziggy. You should be with someone gentle, someone patient, someone calm, someone who, I don't know, could give you the world. I can't. But - I'm begging you - let me be with you, even so--! You... you needn't do anything. Just let me be with you."

He hugs Ziggy, now, desperate, but still gentle. And still reeling inside. Trying to focus only on his love for Ziggy, in order not to hurt Ziggy anymore, but still reeling. And some anger at himself rising deep inside, too, one that was already almost buried, but haphazardly.

The thing that attacked you-

"Of course I do." Ziggy kisses his cheek. "Why else would I want to share my life with you like this."

For a moment Ziggy thinks about being asked to get married. It still makes him too nervous to think about but maybe he's warming up to the idea a little bit.

Ziggy puts his fingers to Hiroki's lips to stop the words and shakes his head. "It's part of choosing a human. As much as my parents love each other sometimes my dad's temper gets bad and mom doesn't feel good."

And then Ziggy starts laughing quietly. "I'm part human. You know I've made myself sick by getting angry?"

But the laughter subsides and he shakes his head. "Hiroki, you're already with me. Do I have to start calling you my boyfriend or something?" Ziggy didn't really like that term but it was worthwhile if it helped Hiroki. "Maybe I should take you to my world where if we walk hand in hand and kiss in public, every headline the next day would be about Ziggy Stardust's mystery boyfriend and how lucky he is?"

"The mystery boyfriend is the luckiest person in all the known and unknown realities, yes,"

Hiroki whispers, now grinning, honestly, yeah, and leaning closer, closer.

He stops speaking for a moment at the fingers, but then...

"The mystery boyfriend'll make sure nothing awful ever happens to Ziggy Stardust again."

"And right now, the mystery boyfriend is reporting for duty to tell his Stardust to hurry up, put his pants on, or whatever else, and go with the mystery boyfriend to see IGF-Atlas, because the mystery boyfriend might be fretting a bit."

"How's that? Would the Ziggy like to add anything? Everything was true so far. No slanders."

And he kisses his forehead, again.

Ziggy pulls his fingers away and replaces them briefly with his lips. "...and what if I didn't let him remain a mystery? Would he want the world to know that Hiroki is the boy that took Ziggy Stardust's heart?"

He's worried over the statement if keeping him safe. It will probably take some careful work of easing him into what it is like being famous. Otherwise the rabid fans might make him crazy.

"Yes, I have something to add." He runs his fingers through the paladin's hair. "My boyfriend isn't a mystery. His name is Hiroki and he is thoughtful, caring, loving, and incredibly sexy."

Ziggy grins and then gets up to get some boots that he can walk rather far in. Because he hasn't seen this robot and if it was huge, surely he would have if it was nearby.

Yeah, Atlas is quite huge, very huge, much bigger than Voltron himself. So Ziggy will see an enormous robot soon. Hiroki has no idea whether his beloved expects in any way just how enormous, but, it's not like that matters, does it?

"If anybody asks me how I've seduced you, I'll tell them the truth, I didn't. I never did. I came to your sort of concert, I fell head over heels, like anyone would, and then, later, you kicked an evil witch out of my head and let me take you home, which, well, was a privilege, as anyone would understand."

"And I left you there. I didn't think we'd meet again, I've never been that lucky. And then we met again. And you let me love you, from the bottom of my heart. And then I learnt I wasn't who I was, yet you still let me love you. Instead of freaking out. And there was a time when I was selfish enough to use you as a lifeline, I bet you know that, and yet you still let me."

"I never seduced the Ziggy Stardust, I could say. I tried to tell Ziggy Stardust that he musn't love me, because I'm dangerous. I truly am. Thing is, Ziggy Stardust never listens. It's hopeless. So I just fell further hopelessly in love, with no hope of ever doing what's best for Ziggy Stardust."

"So, I'll try to make being with me a good thing..."

He pauses.

"I'll try to make being with me a good thing for you, he says, his tone changing a bit from that half serious one until now. Now he's serious. And looks Ziggy straight in the eyes. "I want to be the one for you - without endangering, or making you hurt. I wish-"

"I mean-- you can have anyone. Anytime. I'm not saying--"

He falters.

And then he's serious again.

"All I'm saying is, as long as I exist in any way or form, until the universe ends, I like you. I love you, Ziggy. Until the end of all realities. And I'll stand by you, whatever it takes. Alright?"

And then he has to push some hair out of his eyes. And is now wondering whether he should just cut them again.

Hiroki Shirogane stands up, now ready to leave, to go with Ziggy to see Atlas, finally, at last. He can't wait. He hopes Ziggy's fine with all that.

Edited 2020-08-06 12:05 (UTC)

"You were charming." Ziggy protested playfully. "If i knew you'd like me so much I probably would have kissed you sooner."

"You can use that here ..but my world is very intolerant. You probably want to leave out the supernatural stuff or it might get us killed." Ziggy is more serious about this than maybe anything he's ever said. Hiroki needs to understand that about his world.

"You and music are the best things in my life." He meant it and though Hiroki didn't know it yet, now they were tangled together given what he was writing lately.

Ziggy comes over and tucks his hair behind his ear. "You should let me wash and style it for you." Ziggy purrs at him. "I'll massage your scalp... mmm and anywhere else you want my hands... something to look forward to when we get home?"

He hurries and puts his boots, and a pair of sunglasses, on before coming back to take Hiroki's hand and leave. This may be the first time Ziggy has left the house without make up on which already makes this a strange day.

Wow, being put next to music, which probably is Ziggy's life? Hiroki's heart's beating faster now, and he blushes.

"I've -- I've never been that praised," he utters. "I mean - made out to be -- that important. I don't- I don't--"

He fumbles. And trails off.

"D--don't praise me, Ziggy, you'll never get rid of me if you do. You'd have to kill me first. And even then you might not get rid of me, ever. Do you know what you're doing to me?"

A good thing, seeing as he's glowing now, that blue-white light, and feeling pretty great, outside and inside.

Hiroki Shirogane's gotten ready already. We should probably just go. I'll tell Atlas to expect us.

"Then I will have to praise you more." Ziggy looks over mischeviously. "I don't want to be rid of you."

The glow off of Hiroki seems to trigger Ziggy's forhead to glow, not that he notices it really, other than a desire to be close. When he has a hold of his love's hand, he leans against his arm, preparing to walk wherever they need to go.

"You mean you'll spoil me. If you spoil me too much, I might even believe I'm my own person."

Oh-

"I meant to say, good person," he quickly tries to backtrack. "That I might even believe I'm a good person. Madness, huh?"

The young Shirogane clone laughs nervously. Very nervously.

"You are a good person." Ziggy smiled as they started walking. "I can feel your care and kindness, even when you are angry it is there."

"There was a--" the young man says, suddenly, as they're walking towards, as Hiroki now thinks of it, Atlas's place. Further from any centre of Nexus.

"You know there were many Druids? Or maybe you don't."

"The Druid I've remembered just now. His name is Maecidus. He loves the High Priestess with all his heart. Well, they all do, you know."

"His name is Maecidus. He had come into my head once. That was neat, because apart from such visits, all there was was pain and darkness."

"Maecidus said 'This one is probably blind, too. Another failure.'

I wanted to know what's 'blind'. Maecidus said, 'It means all that awaits any Subject is darkness.'

Something waiting for me? That was new. Something waiting for me, really? Would anything?"

Hiroki shakes his head.

"That stayed with me for next some days. Not that anything else happened for those days, so. Of quiznaking course that stayed with me. I was... wondering. Wondering what 'darkness' was and why it waits for me."

Ziggy listens carefully, though it is confusing. "I didn't know but I want to know everything about you."

He was serious. Hiroki could tell him anything about his past and he would listen and remember and when necessary give him comfort.

"I think I had been blind. Physically, I mean. My eyes."

"Until one day I wasn't blind."

Half-shrug.

"Colours are scary. Did you know? Terrfying. I mean, they were. At the beginning. I wonder why. I don't understand that, as I am now. I can't understand why colours scared me."

"All I know is that purple was the scariest colour. Back then."

"And red, too. And white. Not that I knew names of colours, back then."

"But even more terrifying was... lights."

Edited 2020-08-06 21:42 (UTC)

"Was that because the witch was purple?" Ziggy had some latent fears from his attacks. It made sense to him that Hiroki might have some from his attacker too. "She felt purple some how. I don't know but she did."

Though the part about lights worries him. "Are you going to be alright at my shows? Sometimes we use colored lights."

Edited 2020-08-06 21:43 (UTC)

"She is purple..."

Huh.

"That was... lights. Flashing lights, Ziggy. Back then. I'd rather've died."

"What? Of course I'll be fine. Don't be a worrywart."

"I will always worry." Ziggy kissed his cheek as they walked. "I love you and you'll have to accept it."

Hiroki wants to kiss him, too, but if he did, they might never get to their destination today.

"Water. Once, I went with Lance to the pool. Castle of Lion's pool. We used to do that. Er, Lance and Keith used to."

"I submerged myself into water. Suddenly... I think I started screaming. I... I don't remember. When I opened my eyes again, I wasn't in the pool. I was wet. So was Lance."

"So. Lance. You know. Blue Paladin. My friend. He was looking at me, concerned. He said swimming is dumb, Shiro! I agreed. So dumb."

"We laughed. We didn't swim. I don't know why. I never knew why."

Hiroki suddenly stops walking.

"I don't know why, Ziggy! And it's only now that I realise... Lance was wet. And crying."

"I'm just learning to swim. There isn't any standing water where I grew up." Ziggy, like the other Antheans were still startled by large bodies of water.

"My mom knows ways to help people remember, if you want to remember."

"I... I almost drowned, didn't I? Lance saved me."

"Shiro can swim. I... I can't swim, Ziggy. I only know how to."

"I. I want to remember everything."

"Let's learn how to swim together? I can teach you."

Even though Hiroki never swam. And almost drowned.

He starts walking again.

"I want to remember everything I can't remember. And everything Honerva doesn't want me to remember."

"I want to know!"

"My dad was teaching me. Maybe they'd both come so my mom can learn too?"

Ziggy thinks it would be fun for the four of them to be out like a family.

"You can ask her to help. If the memories are painful you might want my dad or her cousin there to help her."

"Sounds great. Let's have ourselves a family swimming lesson. It's a date!"

"Ziggy, I'm no child. I can take the pain. I shall ask her. Shortly."

So...

Anyway, he's walking. With Ziggy at his side.

"Macidus, another time he was in my head. He said... what did he say? I didn't understand a word, back then."

"He said. for a weapon, you look rather desperately lively, instead. Not broken enough yet. Even though you were made broken from the start. Did you somehow learn how to lie? Or pretend?"

"Am I desperate to live, Ziggy?"

Edited 2020-08-06 23:11 (UTC)

"I'll call them tonight and see when they're free."

"Hiroki, you don't understand." Ziggy tells him gently. "You'll feel each other's memories. She'll feel yours and you'll feel any of hers that come up too. You'll need the support."

"I think you're very strong." Ziggy leans into his shoulder as they walk. "You've been through so much and you still smile and laugh a lot, you want to experience things and can love deeply. I think you've got an incredible spirit. It's beautiful to see you live."

"Mother's memories? Oh. Then... oh. Sure."

"Strong? Ziggy. If I was strong, I wouldn't have tried to kill Keith. He's like a brother-- no, he--"

"And don't tell me that was Honerva. I chose where we fought, I managed that much. If I was just slightly stronger... surely I could've chosen to kill myself and all other clones before fighting. You see, there was a moment... when I wanted to do that. But Honerva was against that. And I couldn't, quite--"

"So you see, Ziggy, how weak I was. Am. I had fought her; I lost. Because I'm weak. If I loved as strongly as you think I do, I'd have won against Honerva."

Edited 2020-08-06 23:54 (UTC)

Ziggy gives him a pointed look. "Stop with the bullshit. You didn't know you were a clone until after you met me. How the hell do you think you could do something about what you didn't even know existed?"

Ziggy stops, arm stiffening so Hiroki has to stop with him. "Maybe your weakness is from trying to convince yourself and everyone else that you are? We all make the world by what we believe and I am not about to feed into this idea that you are some weak, undeserving thing. I know better and you're not going to convince me to believe this self destructive stuff."

"The only reason I didn't know was because I didn't want to know. I was lying to myself."

"I'm a liar, Ziggy. I often lied. And never knew."

"Didn't want to or you were forced to not want to?" Ziggy is being stubborn, as usual.

"I saw who was in your mind, so did someone else in the family. She's horrible." If that wasn't obvious in the fact that multiple pacifists would go full blown psychic warfare on her in a heartbeat.

Forced to...

"Listen, you're not going to invalidate my life just because Honerva was hovering over it. You have no idea-"

"I was who I was, even if I wasn't, but there are things I felt that were me, that were mine, Ziggy, and that were true! I care about Keith, Pidge, Matt, Lance, Allura, Hunk, and Coran."

"I wanted to fight for anyone who couldn't fight for themselves against Zarkon's and Honerva's and Lotor's Empire!"

"I wanted to still be a Paladin of Voltron, even if Black's rejection at first hurt me a lot!"

"Those may have originated in another's memories... but later-- that was all me, Ziggy!"

"So don't telling me I didn't feel what I felt! I, Hiroki Shirogane, even if I had no name of my own back then. So-- you can't say that I--"

"That I didn't feel anything of my own."

He's panting. And glowing, that blue-white light. And then, suddenly, he disappears.

Edited 2020-08-07 10:46 (UTC)

He wanted to argue that the love was true but maybe some other things weren't. He wanted to tell him about what Honerva did in the mind space, especially with Tommy. He just wanted Hiroki to understand that he's not a bad person. Ziggy's desperate for that understanding.

But then he just disappears. For a moment, he doesn't panic. After all, his mom's people can astral project, but it quickly sets in that Hiroki is not Anthean. The terror is too much for him to take in. The panic that he's dead again sets in so fast that Ziggy just collapses unconscious where he's standing. Everything going black before he can stop it. He's probably going to get injured if he's falling on a hard surface, hopefully he's in the grass or something where it will just be bruises instead of breaks.

Allura was doing some maintenance on IGF-Atlas, but she's finished with it, and now going to, well, her temporary home. However, on her way she notices.

A collapsed person.

Immediately, she crouches near. And checks the vital signs.

"Are you alright? No, you probably can't hear me."

Can't if unconscious.

Ziggy isn't human enough, most of the human pulse points, he doesn't have, also his heart is in his back and hard to feel the beat from the front of the chest.

However, he is breathing. Supported by the groaning and mumbling of Hiroki's name. Ziggy however is firmly entrenched in a nightmare about the first night after Shiro told him his beloved was dead. Allura might feel the incredible pain and loss emanating from him at this point

Hiroki? Could this possibly be one of Hiroki Shiro's friends in Nexus?

And so much pain...

She'll try to look into his mind gently. Ready to retreat if there's any discomfort at her presence.

my name is Allura. I'm a friend of Hiroki's, and I mean you no harm.

Ziggy can't hear her readily because he is reliving a memory and if she stays. She will experience it first person. It starts with pain and drinking, heavily. The mind say that it will numb everything. Only it doesn't. The loss is still there and the crying and eventually outright screaming because the hurt needs to be vented. Then cocaine is added to the mix and more drinking. In this memory, it was the first attempt to drown out everything to just stop experiencing anything because he's alone. The heartbreak would be tangible even if she wasn't in his mind.

There's another thread with the memory, a fear that he is about to relive that, that Hiroki is gone.. lost to him again. Ziggy has just shut off. He doesnt want to be trapped in the memory but he doesn't want to wake up either. He thinks he's just seen Hiroki's spirit die and he can't shake the pain, can't disbelieve that is what has just happened before his eyes.

Oh. Oh, no, has something happened to Hiroki-Shiro?

Pulling out of his mind now, dimly aware now that this might be Ziggy, Allura searches. Without leaving collapsed Ziggy alone, she's not like that, she's aware he might need help.

But she searches.

And sighs with relief when, in mind, she finds Hiroki-Shiro, asleep, she might call it, or resting, inside the vast Quintessence of the Atlas.

She smiles, then turns back to Ziggy. And then. Picks him up.

"Let's go to Atlas, hm? Don't fret. It's not that far away."

Oh. He's so light. Antheans... are they a little like birds or something? She was ready for more Altean or Galra or human weight.

Well, she'll be gentle with him.

Ziggy doesn't wake when he's moved but he does have scraped knees, the danger of short dresses and passing out. He also might have a bump to the head, but it isn't bad. Ziggy just keeps grinding on the memories of thinking Hiroki was dead and terrified now that he's been abandoned, or worse, that Hiroki is dead again.

Allura pats him a little.

Shsh, shsh, your husband's there, just resting. We're going to him. Be strong.

And finally they're in sight of Atlas. Allura sighs. She's almost sure Ziggy should feel everything from here if he's like lady Aletayria... unless he's just stuck too deep in his memories.

Atlas isn't only Hiroki. But familiar strands of Quintessence, of presence, deep, deep, deep inside, should be recognisable.

To her they are. To him, too, most likely.

"I guess we'll go inside. He'll know I haven't done anything to you. You fretted, huh? It's alright. And he might, too, but it's alright."

Ziggy is unresponsive but when they get close to the Atlas he just starts crying. He's stuck in a memory of thinking Hiroki is dead so feeling his presence hurts. In the memory he wanted it so badly, to feel his presence, and he was convinced he would never feel it again.

Allura carries Ziggy inside Atlas. Goes up to one of the control panels and places Ziggy's hand on it.

Ziggy will probably now, quickly, feel the familiar presence reaching out to him gently.

Allura smiles.

Meanwhile, there's that reaching out. Like a nonverbal at all hey. Hey, I know you. Hey.Hey. Hey. poking at Ziggy's mind now, in various places, without reservation.

Allura winces and moves to take take Ziggy's hand away, but at that, she can feel a warning of discontent, on Atlas's side, like a soundless growl, so she doesn't do that, for now.

Even through the memories he's reliving Ziggy can feel the gentle touch. It's so familiar and wanted. Allura will see the glow start on his forehead as he tries to reach out.

"HIroki!" Ziggy suddenly screams his name because he feels too far away. His still unconscious mind unable to process the disconnect between the physical presence touching him and the spiritual one reaching out.

In mind, even deeper, in spirit, because every living being has Quintessence, and Atlas will never shield from Ziggy's, Ziggy now probably can see... space. Empty, dark space. There is place here. Infinite place. Infinite space.

Though suddenly, on horizon, very, very far away, like the Sun, is, not the Sun, nor any stars, but the Earth. Which serves as sun here. Apparently. Feels warm.

But before Ziggy can look much, in there's, all still in mind, in that space, a touch on his shoulder. Familiar touch. And familiar voice,

"I can hear you, Ziggy. Why are you screaming? Are you hurt? Let me look at you."

Hiroki's voice. At Ziggy's side, here, inside. A bit unfocused. Airy.

Though Ziggy hasn't woken up physically, his mind does. He's seen Earth this way, from space. He remembers it, bittersweet in some ways because he had missed his mother so much after.

Ziggy himself is glowing brightly, particularly from his eyes and the circle he paints on his forehead. Here in the spiritual realm it can be felt, the hope and love radiating from him like the warmth of summer. It is the same golden glow seen in the material realm but here it can be felt.

Slowly his attention turns away from the Earth to the voice and touch. He doesn't say anything because he's relatively mute in the spiritual realm right now but images and feelings come; fear, loss, worry, heartache, and confusion. The emotions laced with images of how his mind had produced a hundred ways Hiroki could have died after Shiro had spoken to him. The sense is there that these fears are also current. In disappearing, Hiroki had reinvigorated them.

Edited 2020-08-08 12:08 (UTC)

I'm here, Ziggy. I'm here. I'm here, and oh, I love you so, so, so much.

Hiroki's voice. Somewhat weak. Tired.

Hiroki still can't be seen.

Quiznak, you're so beautiful. And handsome. Too beautiful. I love you. I adore you. You'll never know how much I adore you, for it can't even be expressed.

Well. I have to go, I want to know why you're scared so, but I need to go, this was longer than I imagined, anyway, I can't talk to you like this, longer than this, it's simply impossible. Unless--

Unless---- would you- this is outside everything we have, and-- now I'm embarassed, but...I don't even know your experience, but--- would you agree to be my pilot? If you do, I can stay. Always.

His voice seems to be fading.

Edited 2020-08-08 12:38 (UTC)

Ziggy responds instantly to the weakness, his own mental power surging, offering itself to Hiroki. With it comes the calm intensity of his heart and the love there. It belongs to this spirit and voice.

Pilot? Ziggy finally qyestions more verbally as his spirit reaches for Hiroki's, desperate to touch it. As desperate for contact as he is physically. I have piloted a ship before.

He didn't know about this one but he could try.

Some of that energy gets siphoned, yes. Only as much as Ziggy offers. No, even a bit less.

Hiroki suddenly appears, kneeling in front of Ziggy, pure unaltered adoration in his eyes.

He seems to be made of solid light, familiar whitish azure, now pulsating. His hair is short and he has two arms.

He looks up at Ziggy, and then, in one swoop motion, he glomps him.

"Princess, you're my pilot! Thanks, oh, thank you, thank you, thank you, Ziggy! I was afraid I--- see, I need a pilot, I was exhausted, and almost getting ready to fly back to my pilot. But I stayed, wearing myself out, because I swore, I swore... oh, thank you!!"

The whole infinity arounds the two of them lights up. Blue balls of light flying everywhere. There are also blue and golden comets, streaking the space.

"You really agreed to be my pilot?! You're great!"

"You're my pilot, Ziggy!"

He giggles. Ziggy can probably feel Hiroki's joy and gratitude bubbling up. Everywhere.

Hiroki's wearing a Galaxy Garrison uniform.

Edited 2020-08-08 13:30 (UTC)

Ziggy wraps Hiroki in his arms, eager to embrace. Here in the space of minds and spirits all of his usual frailty and weakness is gone. In here, Ziggy is incredibly strong, probably all Antheans would be. He's so strong that he literally picks Hiroki up off his feet in the hug.

Unlike his partner who is wearing clothing, Ziggy is nothing but pure light that flares brighter as soon as they contacted each other. He's still his same shape though. Truthfully, he doesn't really know what he has agreed to but if it keeps Hiroki safe and alive he will figure it out. It's enough to make him smile that, despite the seriousness, Ziggy thinks the whole thing sounds a little dirty or erotic.. to be his lover's pilot.

He lovingly strokes Hiroki's back as they hug. "I'm here for you, always. I told you.. but, you might have to teach me. I don't think this is like an Anthean ship."

It does have some similarities in fact only Ziggy doesn't know it yet. "Or maybe my parents can help me, too?"

Though his mind comes around to something serious and he pulls away just enough to gaze at Hiroki. "Are you sure? I can't fight in wars or anything. It'd kill me."

Laughing continues.

"I knew you were strong!"

He says, after laughter.

"I'll teach you to pilot Atlas! Allura will help. She brought you here. Did you know? She's holding you now. Princess Allura, the Blue Paladin."

"Fighting? Oh, Ziggy. Shiro is my pilot. And Ziggy is my pilot. No need for you to fight in any battle to come, Ziggy."

Suddenly. Head tilt.

"Wait. Are you thinking something inappropriate? I bet you are. Please don't. You know who is also my pilot."

"I panicked when you disappeared." Ziggy admits. "I don't remember her. I might be unconcious?"

Ziggy laughs mischevious as ever. "He's just going to have to deal with us being lovers." He comments before kissing Hiroki, literally touching emotions and minds. There's no room for secrets here and Ziggy knows it. Knows in that one action that Hiroki can know everything about him, see and feel everything he has ever experienced, if he wants to. It's vulnerable but he trusts this spirit with everything he might find out.

"I can't help it. My love for you is all the ways you can love someone, even the inappropriate ones, my paladin." He remembers Hiroki mentioning that word when talking about his military service, as if it was a rank. It seemd appropriate as a term of teasing affection too.

"Yes, you're unconscious. I'm so, so, so sorry. It's my fault, isn't it?"

"Are you hurt, Ziggy?"

Hiroki Shirogane grins.

"Shiro already knows I'm yours. It's just, there are things-- well, things I'll just try not to let him see, next time he's connecting to Atlas. Because we, here right now - this is private, isn't it? If I manage to make it so. I might not--"

And then Ziggy's kissing him, and Shiro's clone, Hiroki Shirogane, of Atlas, kisses him back, passionately. With his whole being.

And Ziggy may well, if he tries, easily see the whole short life of Shiro's clone, from its very beginning. And Hiroki knows that Ziggy may, too.

After the kiss, Hiroki's still smiling, but his smile falters once Ziggy speaks.

"I'm no longer a Paladin, Princess,"he whispers softly, with melancholy. "I can never be one again. Ever. As much as I'd like to be."

Suddenly, he flashes Hiroki a brilliant grin.

"However, Ziggy, you're a Paladin now, also. You're my pilot, after all. You're a Paladin of Atlas, Co-captain. Welcome aboard."

Hiroki hugs Ziggy tightly. More tightly than ever. Here, he can. Here, they can do this. With no worry for Ziggy. Because Ziggy's body isn't here. And hugging won't hurt him.

Killing would kill him, yes, would kill him outside, too, but, hugging won't kill, so, yeah.

Ziggy holds a bit tighter. "I thought I lost you again."

Ziggy smirks. "I don't care if he sees anything. I'm not ashamed of myself or anything I do with you." Ziggy leans in to whisper. "Though, I'd hate for him to get jealous of how well I take care of you."

He's teasing of course, and flirting. "You might not be a paladin like this any more, but you're my paladin. My protector and knight of heroism and chivalry. You can always be my paladin Hiroki."

Ziggy knew it had a different meaning but the word still held true. The title makes him giggle and burys his face in Hiroki's neck. "My dad's going to be proud.. and so jealous. You know, you should bring my parents here. My dad would be like a school boy in this thing."

He hasn't seen it yet but he's starting to sense the vastness of the ship.

"Let my brother be envious, sure," Hiroki Shirogane teases. "He didn't even fall in love in you when he saw you! Can you believe it? Must be blind."

"Parents are welcome aboard IGF-Atlas anytime. Full clearance."

Some blue light, like a strange blue firefly, but not quite, suddenly lands on Ziggy's nose. It might tickle. And he might see a memory of a certain roleplay gaming session.

When the memory passes, Hiroki's smiling.

"Ziggy? I'm glad you came."

"Well, I did hit him." Ziggy smiles and sneaks in another kiss. "Besides, he wouldn't have a chance. I'm already in love with someone else."

Ziggy takes the memory and it triggers one of his own. Of his father much younger siting on the floor with him when he's a toddler, teaching him to play checkers on a board drawn on the floor. His dad's hair longer and pale blond, sort of curly, and even Ziggy's baby hair has a bit of curl to it.

"I'll always try to find you." He presses thier foreheads together and the energy is there, open and free to feed into Hiroki's spirit.

"The only thing you could've hurt was his heart."

Oh. Little Ziggy. So cute!

"Most adorable."

Hiroki shies away at that, however.

"I won't drain your Quintessence, Ziggy. I won't. I'm not Honerva!"

Ziggy catches on to what he's seeing and smiles. "I was only 2 I think."

The comment though confuses him. "What do you mean? You aren't draining me."

At least as Ziggy could tell.

"Cute."

"What do you mean, Ziggy? If I take from you, won't I drain you?"

"It's what she does. From planets. From people. From universes. It's what Lotor does, too, he's no better, after all. I had been so sure he was so unlike his mother. But he's just like Zarkon and just like Honerva!"

"Is this-- different?"

Confusion.

"No. No, I won't do it, I won't do it. I won't do it. I won't do it again. Unless-- that's not it-?"

Hope. Weak, then gone. In desbelief.

"I won't do this!"

Horror. Pain. Confusion.

Edited 2020-08-08 19:29 (UTC)

"You're not taking anything from ...." He's so confused, trying to figure out what is going on.

"This is what my people do." Ziggy is unsure what is so wrong. "You're not hurting me."

He stops, suddenly realizing that his partner doesn't understand. How to tell him that this is ok and have him believe. "It's ok that we share spirits, just like our emotions."

"I mean... Paladins give a little of their own Quintessence to the Lions, willingly, and that's good, but it's tiring. Can be exhausting for hours afterwards."

"Is it like that? I- I won't hurt you? I won't take too much? If I take too much--"

The space's pulsating all around them. Confusion. Curiosity. Hope.

"Wait a tick. Share??"

"I doesn't tire me." Ziggy shrugs smiling. "It feels good to share it with you."

Ziggy isn't sure how to explain more precisely. "Yes. It's sharing and.. i think it's related to how my forehead glows around you."

The space lights up more, and so does Hiroki. And he smiles.

"O-oooh. So it's sharing, and it's not even a little tiring, and not-"

"Not the other way, you know, the one I've told Major Tom about, you can ask him. I don't even remember whence----"

Suddenly, Hiroki looks sick. Not at anything here. At a memory. One he didn't remember till now. Until right now.

Ziggy might see a memory. Suddenly.

He'll see Haggar, and know that it's her. Her.

See her walking away.

And then, he'll see what she's just walked away from. Several pods, with men inside, one in each one. And each one-

Well. Hiroki would look just like that, if he had no scars and if he suddenly aged one hundred and ten or something years in a moment, maybe.

And that's probably the least wrong thing about how they look.

Utterly drained of life.

That's what he might see. Slowly, at exactly the same times as Hiroki struggles, trying NOT to remember it freshly, suddenly.

A repressed memory from 'childhood'.

When the memory passes, Hiroki suddenly looks catatonic.

Edited 2020-08-09 05:20 (UTC)

Ziggy shakes his head. "It's more like laying against someone you love when you need to warm up after being in the cold."

Ziggy gets the memory and because they are so closely binding in this spiritual space, can't look away. He doubles up and feels dizzy from knowing what had to have happened. He does recover more quickly here but he might actually cough like he's going to vomit in the real world where Allura is still with him.

After a moment he stands up straight and notices Hiroki. "Are you alright?" He gently touches him to try to get him to come around.

"That's not tiring at all, quite the opposite. Amazing. And cozy."

Smile.

However, after the memory. When Ziggy aks if he's fine, Hiroki can only look at him blankly, for now.

He still doesn't remember everything, from his early life. Most likely the reason is, well, because his brain's not trying to kill him.

Hiroki's shaking. Yes, here, in spirit, he's shaking.

Outside, in the material realm, in Nexus, Allura might be slightly concerned about Ziggy's cough. And so, she wants to know...

Her voice reaches into inside Atlas, so both Ziggy and Hiroki can hear her, somewhere in the vastness of the space, clearly.

Is everything alright? I'm not sure which one of you will hear me, so. You can wake up or turn on for 'yes'?

"Yes, It makes me feel closer to you." Ziggy confirms, though it could make him exhausted after awhile, it wasn't like the actions Hiroki had described.

He notices the shaking and gently hugs his lover, wrapping him up in the warm, loving, hopefulness that is Ziggy's spiritual being.

Ziggy doesn't know Allura, or her voice, and his first reaction is to shield Hiroki from the presence.

"Who are you?" Ziggy's mind comes back to her, defensive and protective.

Embraced like that, Hiroki begins to cry, which, well.

He's not staring blankly anymore, at least.

Edited 2020-08-09 13:46 (UTC)

"Oh. My apologies."

She appears a few steps away from them. Her spirit radiant. And emanating some concern.

On the horizon, next to Earth, in a reasonable distance, another planet appears.

"My name is Allura. It's a pleasure to- oh."

She notices them more clearly. Ziggy and Hiroki.

She comes closer. Touches Hiroki Shiro if Ziggy will let her, or just stays close.

"What scared you?" she asks, gently.

Hiroki whimpers, and whispers,

"Why am I the one she chose? Tell me."

Allura shakes her head, and says,

"I'm sorry if that's something you..." she hesitates. "Sorry to say this, but, Honerva never chose you. She only saw that your spirit is strong. Perhaps strong enough. For her plans."

"...oh...I'm glad..."

Hiroki turns back to Ziggy, now, slightly calmer.

"Ziggy, this is Allura, my family, the Blue Paladin, and my crew member. Allura, this is Ziggy, my beloved, and a Paladin of Atlas."

Edited 2020-08-09 14:01 (UTC)

Ziggy just holds and comforts Hiroki. Since he is stronger here he can easily hold him up of he needs to lean in heavily.

In theory, if planets are representing of the persons present there should be a third one, uniformly tan in color with swirled ripples of black and gray in the atmosphere from the winds.

Ziggy doesn't stop her from touching Hiroki but he's pinning her with an intense gaze. The golden light on his forehead flaring protectively. He's a pacifistic Anthean but he's also human enough to be aggressive if absolutely needed.

Ziggy only nods to Allura, unwilling toblet go if Hiroki and still wary. He knows from his cousin's experience that even close friends can turn on people. That has added to his already paranoid nature. However, he's also not particularly unfriendly.

There probably are three planets there now, indeed.

"I'm glad you came," Hiroki tells Allura.

"Where is your body?" Allura asks.

"Ah, um. I was tired," he replies.

Allura looks at Ziggy a bit sceptically, wondering if he was doing something particularly exhausting.

"Ziggy," she says. "I don't know how to put it, but your-"

Hiroki suddenly shakes his head, but Ziggy might still hear that she was going to say husband

"...fiance? Is still recovering. He needs some rest."

"But-"

"Don't you?"

"Nn. Ziggy helps now."

"Oh. Alright."

Hiroki turns back to Ziggy, and utters, "Sorry."

Edited 2020-08-09 16:44 (UTC)

Even fiance gets a raised brow but they were dating, it could be something with the culture.

He does take in what is being said. "Why don't you sit here with me? I can stay here for a long time because of my mother's blood."

He doesn't know that Allura is holding his body still.

Allura looks slightly confused at first, but then, she smiles.

Hiroki grins, sparkles (yes, literally), and tells Ziggy, "Sure! I wasn't sure if you didn't have to go back outside. Please, stay."

Then, the young man turns to Allura, and asks, softly, but Ziggy can still hear that, "Lay Ziggy down in a bed."

Allura smiles and asks, "Perhaps Tavo's?"

"Sounds good."

Allura nods, waves bye (Hiroki waves back), and suddenly disappears in a flash of light. And sparkles. So does Altea in the distance.

"I didn't tell princess Allura to take some comfiest pillow for Ziggy," Hiroki whispers.

Hiroki turns back to Ziggy.

"Now that you're in good hands. Where were we?"

Edited 2020-08-09 22:35 (UTC)

Ziggy waves bye to Allura as well before turning his attention back to the man in his arms. "I think i was telling you it's OK if we share energy."

The young man looks (and feels) conflicted.

He closes his eyes and seems to breathe in. Then, he opens them and looks straight into Ziggy's.

"Okay," Hiroki Shirogane says, solemnly, "we can. Since I trust you from now on, Ziggy."

Ziggy meets his gaze with a smile. "We can sit here and rest, and you can see what I mean. If you're still uncomfortable, I can stop."

"You already know my darkest secrets. You can't make me uncomfortable if you try."

"There's something I've never told you. I was unsure about coming back to Nexus. What if I'm needed and can't make it back home on time, while I'm off in Nexus?"

Hiroki smiles softly. And sparkles. The Earth in the horizon lights up as if it's the Sun itself.

"But then, Shiro told me to go, to be with the one I love."

"What did you even tell him?? I've never asked."

Edited 2020-08-10 11:45 (UTC)

Ziggy frowns at the question. "I told him you stole his body and didn't care what happened to you, that none of them did because they never tried to help you."

Ziggy cuddled against Hiroki. "I might have said other things. I don't remember. It hurt so much to hear i lost you again I passed out."

That was the truth and that conversation was what sent him down the path to overdosing.

"My rude Princess."

He caresses Ziggy's hair now. Then, his cheeks.

But he won't say anything more about that time. Has no wish to hurt Ziggy.

Suddenly, Hiroki's slightly nervous. He says, "The White Lion wants to meet you."

"Sometimes." Ziggy admits with a playful giggle.

"Oh." Ziggy shrugs. "I don't mind meeting it."

Hiroki still looks nervous.

"Not before you promise me you won't be rude to him. That's important. You're here without his permission, and that might not be-- not be good."

"Remember the glass metaphor? White Lion is the one who's put me together."

"I won't be."

Ziggy though furrows his brow. "Isn't this your home too?"

"Shared."

Something huge suddenly appears. Enormous, really, much bigger than the planets.

The White Lion. He's not looking at all at Hiroki, he's instantly looking at Ziggy.

He's sentient, Ziggy can immediately feel that. And that he's powerful - like a world. He looks straight at Ziggy, wordlessly asking what is Ziggy seeking here, in this realm. Yes, even though there are no words, the question rings clear.

Hiroki takes a step back, as if to let them talk in private, though here, that's just a meaningless polite gesture, anyway.

Ziggy glances away when Hiroki pulls out of his arms to step away. He doesn't shy away from the presence.

"This is where I belong." Ziggy tells it. He glances at Hiroki. "My spirit belongs with his."

It's a good start.

Hiroki glows more at those words.

Meanwhile, the Lion changes, in a flash of white-blue light. It's now the size of an actual animal. The Lion runs at Ziggy. It's impossible to discern the Lion's emotions, if there even ever are any.

While it's happening, Hiroki doesn't feel alarmed at that in the slightest. Just interested.

Ziggy goes blind from the flash. Though the light doesn't effect his eyes here he believes it does so he can't see for a moment. When his vision clears, he sees the animal running at him.

Ziggy freezes for a moment and then Ziggy's presence flares until the hope fills the space. He suspects he can't run away in a mind space so he holds his ground against it. He's not fearful nor aggressive so it leaves few options.

The White Lion runs right through Ziggy Stardust. There's no harm. While he's running through him, Ziggy can hear, Welcome home, and it's not one voice, it's a chorus of voices. Soft. Warm.

After, when the Lion's a few steps away from Ziggy now, he just stops and looks at him.

Hiroki, meanwhile, looks like he very much wants to go over and give Ziggy a tight hug, but is stopping himself because it'd be a faux-pas. He's grinning like a child, and shining brilliantly.

You're so beautiful! sent, shyly, from Hiroki now, directly to Ziggy.

Ziggy does give a little cry of surprise when it jumps through him. It's not fearful, just surprise. Then hebeing welcomed home. He turns to look at the lion.

He smiles at theion though he has no idea what is going on. Thankfully, Ziggy is awesome at just throwing himself into anything.

"What just happened?" He's curious and asking either of them.

Ziggy feels the desire for a hug so he sends an emotional equivalent, causing his forehead to glow more brightly. "You are beautiful too." Ziggy sent back.

"You haven't sought to take by force," Hiroki says, smiling.

"We're home."

Oh, this feels great.

"I've told you that I'm a pacifist." Ziggy doesnt get the importance of what's said exactly.

"Our second home?" Ziggy asks since his apartment was the home they had together first.

Hiroki nods, and, in a one swoop motion, pulls Ziggy into a kiss.

Yes, Ziggy. Exactly so.

While he's kissing him.

Ziggy pours himself into that kiss.

"I love you." it comes as mental words, emotions, his very presence bleeds those words.

Hiroki pours himself into it, too.

Ziggy might now noticed that, even though it's not visible (but can be felt), Hiroki's spirit had been badly damaged. Can spirits be scarred? This one is, and when Hiroki shares himself with Ziggy, Ziggy can, surely, feel that. Like one would feel hundreds of distinct, jagged scars. Each one from the battle he had once waged against Honerva's possession.

I love you more, Princess Ziggy. Ziggy! I love you. I adore you. I'll always cherish you. You're perfect. And worry naught, love. I'll have a body again. I can feel.

Ziggy feels those jagged places in his spirit, touches them gently. As if on instinct his spirit twists with them, looking for ways to mend them, stitch them back together like fabric. He's not even exactly conscious of it, but his spirit is looking to heal his partner even if it must use some of its own energy. Ziggy will recharge over time.

"Does that mean you're my prince charming?" Ziggy teases quietly. "I love you and I am here for you no matter what you need."

With Ziggy's power, and love, these many spots and holes inside can slowly be healed. To Hiroki's surprise.

"Nah, just a paladin. In your service. Sworn to you. On my very soul."

"I know. And, Ziggy. Have I ever--- thanked you? So many times I should've. So many. But I've never. I must've been quiznaking trying my hardest to make you despise me. Did you know? I tried. Forgive me? I'm so---"

"Thanks. Thank you."

"You're charming enough to be a prince." Ziggy tells him as he feels what his spirit is doing. He wants that and encourages the process. Even if it could be done all at once, Ziggy doesn't have the energy for it. He will have to undertake this slowly, but he will work on it when he can.

"I know why you did and I forgive you for it. Many people are nervous and try to push people away for various reasons. What matters is that we've made it here and we're together."

Hiroki feels this. He shudders. He's never hoped for this. Not even once. But he craves it.

It's almost like being reborn. He'll be more stable now, soon, outside, he can feel that.

His blue-white glow instensifies.

He gazes at Ziggy adoringly and asks, "You would do this for me? You know you don't have to. I'm not asking you to. I never expected you to. You know I'll love you whether you do this or not. This isn't the reason you're here."

Then. Forgiveness. Ziggy's forgiven him. What a relief.

"Yes. Yes, that's all that matters."

"I'm glad you're someone who'd never hurt the innocent, Ziggy. Because otherwise, no matter how much I needed you, you'd be my enemy."

"You're not, and that's what matters, too."

Edited 2020-08-11 05:07 (UTC)

"I know you didn't ask." Ziggy sighs and places a kiss on Hiroki's forehead. "I do this because I love you and want you to be healthy. I can'theal a physical body, but this one, the spirit, he can."

"I can barely hurt anyone and if I do, there are immediate effects." Ziggy canimagine hurting children. "There are a lot of people back home that believe I am hurting people."

"Don't love me too much, I don't want to tire you," Hiroki says, grinning. "I'll settle for You loving me a little, just to be safe."

But there's an underlying truth to it and Ziggy knows that, too. Fear of Ziggy draining himself. With time, Hiroki will know that won't happen.

"Mhm. I don't like hurting others, but, it's different for you, I've noticed. More-- palpable. I see."

"Oh!"

The White Lion nods at Hiroki, who looks-- embarassed.

"Listen, I should go. I have a body now. Thanks to Atlas, Allura, and-- you?? Huh. That tracks. Yeah."

"Let's meet after. See the IGF-Atlas in the meantime, okay? Allura can give you a tour. You'll like it, I hope. I'm safe, so - why not?"

Ziggy gives him a big hug. "I'll love you as much as I want."

And he was so deeply in love with him. Ziggy knows he might sleep, or need to do something to recharge his emotions after a stint of healing but he will be no worse for wear. Besides, one of the best ways Hedlund to recuperate is sex, and that is something they both can enjoy.

Ziggy gives him another kiss. "I'll see you soon, and if not.. I'll come in here and find you."

Heh.

"You do that, my hero. Sure. Come. If you ever come here, you'll find me. In our place. Right here. Hmm. Maybe I just won't let Shiro come right here, ever. There are many places here. This one is now ours. Our secret place."

That Allura knows, but, apart from that, sure.

Then, the White Lion and Hiroki disappear.

Ziggy's not thrown out. Just as the young man said, it's Ziggy's home, now, too.

As a pilot, as far as Atlas on the whole is concerned.

In other words, Ziggy may stay or leave, whenever he wants to.

"It might be a good idea to keep this space for us." Ziggy can think of all sorts of reasons for that.

He watches them disappear and doesn't panic this time. He knows that it isn't permanent now. He does linger for awhile after so that he can memorize the place.

Then he too leaves, slowly waking up in the real world. It takes some time to get his bearings. He is tired now. Still he gets up ready to explore this ship.

When Ziggy wakes up, he's in a bed. Allura's sitting at the bedsite. Her Altean mice are here, too, and are playing with Ziggy's hair.

She sees absolutely no reason to stop them.

"You're awake!" She exclaims happily. "I thought you might be injured, but, no, it's not so bad, now is it? Welcome aboard Atlas. I don't know if he's already given you a tour, but if not, I'll be happy to do so."

"It's you." Ziggy tells the mice that he can feel in his hair. "Are you the ones that chewed up my fingers?"

Ziggy then turns his attention to Allura. "No broken bones."

That was the big worry with his body. "No. There were other things to take care of."

Ziggy sits up but he feels woozy and tired.

Chulatt mentally assents. The other mice - and all are there - want nothing to do with that. Not them! Only Chulatt was biting!

Allura laughs lightly.

Her hair's in a bun and she's wearing her pink Galaxy Garrison uniform.

"I never knew you were all friends. That's lovely!"

Ziggy and them. All the Altean mice.

"I see. So that's why Atlas wants me to show you around right now. He's pushy, even."

Fond exasperation.

Allura could have a hundred shields up, it's palpable that she could, but she has none up, right now.

"Sort of friends." Ziggy smiles. "They are persistent."

Ziggy covered his mouth to yawn. "He's why I'm tired, but it's worth it."

Allura could easily feel that the Anthean is exhausted from something but standing anyway. "He made me his pilot, I better learn."

He's ready to go when Allura is.

"They are. They're my friends. They used to be ordinary Altean mice, but they had spent ten thousand years with me in a pod, and, well, you see. Things happened. Mental connection with me."

Allura stands up and offers Ziggy a hand.

"I thought that's what happened. Hiroki's chosen you. Atlas activated all of a sudden. Yes, it's on now, for the first time since landing in Nexus."

"A year ago, I'd've been a little envious. Once upon a time, I was full of herself, sure that the Red Lion would let me pilot her. Because my Father was the original Red Paladin, I thought Red would let me pilot, too. But Red rejected me, and I - it hurt me, thinking she rejected me. But it wasn't like that. I know now, she knew this wouldn't be for the best. Not for me, nor for others. In others words, I'm not a Red Paladin, as you surely know. I understand why, now. And I'm glad."

"Sorry, that's irrelevant. Let's show you everything and see if you're a quick learner."

The Princess is ready to go now, just checking if Ziggy is, too. He's been through an ordeal, after all, it seems.

ziggy will definitely pet the mice if they allow it. He does like animals.

He listens to her ans shakes off the idea about piloting. "I'm not sure what good a pacifist is for piloting a war machine." He comments while pausing to take a breath. He's still very woozy. "That's not why I'm tired. I was repairing his ..." he forgot thier word for it ".. his spirit."

He'd sleep probably tonight, maybe the first time Hiroki would see him actually sleep more than a few minutes. He did manage a smile. "My father's an engineer and pilot, and my mother is a medical researcher. After two species' space technology, a third should be easier to learn."

Ziggy's a little cocky but not pushy, more playful about it.

A hologram of Hiroki suddenly appears. And laughs lightly.

"That's my Ziggy! Of course you'll learn, lightspeed fast."

Allura frowns, and says, "don't encourage him, can't you see he's tired?"

"Sorry, sorry!"

Still smiling.

"Ziggy, as Princess Allura has probably already told you, this is the living quarters. You know, just bedrooms of all the crewmembers. This one is Tavo's," he says.

Princess Allura smiles a little, and says, "No, I haven't managed to tell him a thing yet."

"Oh."

"But you can. Go on."

"Actually, I'm kind of a little busy right now? See you guys later. Love you always! Bye."

And he disappears.

Allura just shakes her head and turns back to Ziggy.

"That's amazing. Your parents, I mean. My Mother was a priestess, and my Father was an alchemist."

Ziggy nearly turns to hug him before he realizes it's a hologram.

"I'm fine." Ziggy tells Allura.

The disappearance makes Ziggy shudder, even if he knows Hiroki will be back.

"My father is human, but my mother is from another planet. They're both very smart though." He's exhausted but he's ready to be shown around. Besides, if he's going to sleep, a rare thing, he's waiting until Hiroki is back so he can curl up with his lover.

"If you feel you're fine, let's go."

Why not, let's go. At last, they leave Tavo's room. So now they pass near the rooms of other Alteans from Lotor's Colony. In other words, they pass a few other bedrooms, all of them very well kept. Most of Alteans are no slobs. If Ziggy's very focused, he might feel some miniscule traces of Honerva in those. Like a passing memory.

"Both of my parents are from Altea," Allura continues talking. The mice, meanwhile, ask Ziggy for more pets. "It's a lush, beautiful planet, I'd invite you there sometime. Coran governs Altea now, ever since my passing."

Ziggy has no problem carrying the mice with him as they walk.

"Maybe when I'm done on Earth." The mention of her death makes Ziggy look down. He knows he has to die, soon probably, for his family to have an Earth to go to, for both species to live.

They're in the hall now. Ziggy might distantly feel the hum of the Atlas. Not a sound, a feeling. Calling Allura and Ziggy.

"When you're done on Earth, certainly!" the Princess says.

"Hmm? What's wrong?" she asks.

Don't you tell her it's nothing, young man.

"It's nothing." Ziggy shakes her off and smiles.

"I'm just tired. My people don't sleep and it feels strange." It's not exactly a lie, just avoiding the topic.

So tired and still so eager?

"You really love Hiroki Shiro."

"What do you want to see first? The bridge?"

"I'm sure Hiroki would tell you all about my lack of patience and discipline."

Ziggy just grins, teasing about the concept.

"Our ships aren't built like this. I don't think it matters. Eventually, I should see all of it."

"I'm sure. Otherwise, well --"

"I was surprised he didn't push you away. Now I understand. You won't be pushed away, huh? Good."

Alright, then, follow her to the bridge of IGF-Atlas. She has her own place here, too, because she's the one who can open wormholes.

Fine, Atlas can open them, too, but it takes a lot of energy from him.

"Here we are! The bridge. You've already been here, actually, but you were unconscious at the time. Now you can see everything."

Ta-dah!

"He tried. I think he still tries sometimes, but I don't listen to anyone usually." It was true and Ziggy smiled proudly.

He goes on to the bridge, touching the consoles and looking around. "This is nothing like our ship controls. If you pilot it with your minds, why are there all of these buttons?"

"What?" she asks, surprised.

"No, we pilot with our minds, and bodies, and quintessences. In unison."

"My friends, human Paladins didn't quite get it for months, though they do it, did it since they met Lions, anyway. It weirded me out at first. How can you do something with no understanding?"

"He's still worried sometimes that he dangerous to me." Ziggy shrugs.

"We pilot with out mind and spirits mostly. It's intuition I guess. Part of the development of our mental powers lets us piot them naturally." Ziggy smiles. "My mother has a ship here. I could show you."

"Honerva did awful things to his very Quintessence. Because of that, he's afraid. Afraid that it'll hurt those closest to him."

"When he saw me, when I came back to Nexus, he looked as if he wanted to run away to another reality. All while I could feel that we're still friends."

"Intuition? That makes sense."

"I could see it? Aletayria wouldn't mind??" Allura asks, hopeful now.

"Honerva should pray I never meet her in person." Ziggy might be a pacifist but he had a hot human temper too.

"Maybe we should wait for Hiroki to come back? He wanted to see it too."

"I'm not quite sure if Hiroki can enter Atlas bodily now? I mean-"

Allura takes a deep breath.

"Because he's intrinsically a part of Atlas, it's possible he'd just lose his form upon entering. I think that's why he, let me check"

Hm.

"Yes, he's waiting outside."

He is, now. Has a body again. And Ziggy can surely feel that, too.

Ziggy wants to rush outside but then realizes he doesn't know his way around. Instinctively, he reaches out to the ship for directions.

"He suspected that would be true." But now Ziggy knows how to find him in the spiritual part of the Atlas so that is less frightening.

"I see. I'm not sure anything can be done about that."

Ziggy's a pilot now, so, indeed, he can get directions from Atlas. Instantly gets them. Not words, of course, but images, feelings, sense of orientation, so he can easily get around.

And since Ziggy's met Hiroki and the White Lion, he can probably feel that Atlas is somehow both, together. With some energy of Shiro, too.

And indeed, Ziggy can always find Hiroki in the spiritual space of Atlas.

"I might be able to." Ziggy is barely talking. His eyes are unfocused and staring off at the ceiling of the room. He's listening; to the Atlas, the lion, Hiroki... just feeling the flux of energy.

Allura will see it though, the bright golden glow from his forehead as he communes with the energy. He's wandering off and following the threads of energy in whichever way it is leading.

Allura can see and looks at it closely, intrigued but not worried, as, as she's quickly checked, there's nothing negative in this energy... this Quintessence? At least right now.

She smiles. If Atlas himself wants to this new pilot's tour guide, then her job here is done.

Atlas, meanwhile, first nudges Ziggy Stardust towards the controls.

Come. Bond with him. This is the sole reason You're here.

Ziggy follows the lure, listening to all the threads if images and emotions. When he gets to the controls, he's a little lost. This doesn't look like what he's used to seeing but he wants the bond.

The pull to the bond is distinct strong as the one he has to bond with Hiroki in the physocal part of existence. With no other understanding, his emotions open wide to the presence he feels. Allura is likely to feel it too, the surge of emotions that fill up the space as Ziggy tries to feel out how to control the Atlas.

Atlas now feeds images and ideas on how to pilot him directly into Ziggy's mind.

It's not an instruction manual. It's more like teaching in practice.

And Atlas responds to Ziggy. Like he's answering his particular questions that way, too.

Pointers.

It is easier for Ziggy to understand because of the mental piloting of Anthean ships. He gets the gist quickly and then asks Hiroki/Atlas if it wants to go for a flight. He's curious how it handles because most take offs and landings make him pass out if he's awake. Human planes certainly do.

Edited 2020-08-14 15:34 (UTC)

Atlas very much encourages Ziggy to take off, to take flight.

Allura's still in Atlas. She knows what's happening, but she's not leaving, no need to. She's a crewmember and will gladly help, here and now.

Ziggy knows nothing about the controls so he simply uses his mind. He asks for as gentle a take off as possible, letting the Atlas feel his worry about fainting. Otherwise he is ready to follow the feelings and images that will get them airborne

Atlas's fine with that. Would even already be fine with Ziggy piloting from outside, if Ziggy wanted to.

(Or subconsciously. Accidents might happen. Ziggy might need some learning unless he wants to summon Atlas to his doors someday on accident.)

Suddenly, the robot transforms into the ship. IGF-Atlas. The take-off will be gentler that way. Ready to fly with Ziggy Stardust.

There's some shaking, but nothing one would need seatbelts for.

Ziggy has it airborne and then reaches out to Hiroki who he assumes is still with him in the Atlas.

"Hiroki, can we go to your world?"

If not, he would just fly around the Nexus.

There should be some doors in Nexus that would lead to all his Realities.

They can look for those, Atlas feels. Let's!

Hiroki's unsure but excited to try.

Edited 2020-08-27 18:36 (UTC)

Ziggy reaches out to comfort Hiroki, in the mental space, when he feels the uncertainty. However, he is happy to let the Atlas direct thier flight for now.

"Once I know your universe, I have a device that should let me open a portal anywhere."

Ziggy pauses and the questions the Atlas. "Can you be invisible? We have technology that makes it so ships can't be seen by others."

Hiroki reaches out with affection. And also... nudging Ziggy to make a deeper bond. With Atlas, as the pilot... well, it's important, as a pilot, so... so yes. There should be no secrets between the pilot and his lio-- er, his robot, so, yes. And Atlas will definitely share-

Well, the bond with Hiroki is a part of it, and definitely helps.

Atlas will just find those doors. And if it can't, might make own. Also, at the talk of invisibility, Ziggy will see a memory of Pidge. Pidge can make all the cloaking, yes!

Edited 2020-08-28 09:42 (UTC)

Ziggy understands and after a moment longer of indulgent contact with Hiroki he pulls away. The focus turns solely to the presence of the Atlas. Ziggy is nervous about opening up completely to it. Truth is there are still secrets he has from Hiroki, things he needs to say on his own terms. He does let the Atlas feel those concerns in hopes that it understands and can keep those things to itself.

Trust is crucial with the pilot. But yes, that's enough for now.

Of course there are doors to proper reality in Nexus, so they finally find it and Atlas goes through.

There's a bit of a... well, Hiroki's now completely in Atlas, spiritually of course, but he was also outside, by now, outside the place where Atlas had been parked, in Nexus, so now he's not outside anymore, only completely in Atlas... but that's fine, he will form again easily now when they're back in Nexus. So it's fine. So Hiroki's wholly spiritual now, only.

And they're home now... no, Nexus is also home, second home, by now, but still.

Where do you want to go? Hiroki sends the question, because, well, Atlas as a whole wouldn't think to ask. The pilot always knows where to go, doesn't he? so...

But Hiroki knows Ziggy's here for the first time.

There's so many planets I love to see... I'm not sure where first, Hiroki sends. He's not sure if all the words will get through, but, doesn't hurt to try. Maybe they will?

In the spirit realm, Ziggy walks up to Hiroki smiling. He has enough mind power to pilot and be present, though in the physical realm he probably looks quite catatonic.

Ziggy takes a moment to decide and then asks both of them. "Do you know of a jungle planet that orbits a blue star? It'd be like seeing Anthea before it was destroyed."

There's another pause and then another question. "Can you and the Atlas come to my reality? I could show you Anthea."

He knows jungle planets, and wants to suggest some, but next question catches his attention.

Voltron can cross the space between, but can Atlas? Hmm.

Thing is, Atlas isn't made from trans-reality comet.

Not sure... we could call Voltron and... Voltron can

Cross between Realities.

And he grins at seeing Ziggy, in Spirit.

"Hey, Beautiful. Shall we dance?"

Well, they are right now, aren't they? Flying is like dancing. Heh.

Ziggy is excited to realize there is a planet to see.

"I thought because the ship can go to the Nexus it could but we can wait. Maybe Black would carry both of us?"

Ziggy goes to him and embraces him. He's bright with happiness. "I think this is more intimate and close than dancing."

He's learning to be happy with this kind of contact. Though he wishes desperately for them to have a life in the real world still.

Sure Black can. I don't think Keith would mind if we took Black for a little ride.

Oh. I've never told you yet. Of Voltron and everything. Not much at least. I've told your father, but not you, yet. Wanna hear the story?

More intimate, huh? Yes...

He kisses Ziggy.

by the way. You should know. Like Zarkon told Shiro... if you die here, your body will also perish

Edited 2020-08-29 00:31 (UTC)

"Tell me later. I just want to be here with you."

Ziggy is happy to just be here with Hiroki and sail through space.

"... And if we make love here?" Ziggy grins. 'I'd rather not think about death right now. I've had enough time with those kinds of thoughts recently"

He's, of course, talking about the things that happened when he thought Hiroki was dead. This is better.

Wh-what?? Ziggy, you--

No Paladin's ever made love inside their Lion, unless there's something spicy I don't know about the original Paladins. So why don't we experiment and find out for ourselves? Although... you do know I don't have a body right this moment? I have no idea what I'd feel-

He kissess Ziggy, passionately, now.

But I wouldn't mind finding out, Love.

Yes, let's not talk of death, now, not with Ziggy.

"There's never been a paladin like me." Ziggy grins brightly. "Well, here we can be and do anything. I've flown in mindscapes before."

All he can do is moan into that kiss. His hands slide down to Hiroki's ass, pulling thier spirits together.

"Your lips still feel perfect on mine."

"True enough."

Besides, all the Paladins are incredible and special, each in their own way. It still surprises me nowadays that Black Lion let me be a Paladin, despite my origins.

"True."

"You have?"

The kiss feels incredible to Hiroki. The best one yet, maybe, somehow.

Suddenly, he shimmers and then he's naked, though functionally it makes no difference, anyway.

"Ziggy-"

I have no idea what'll happen! Let's find out?

"You are incredibly special."

"I can show you sometime." Ziggy leans into Hiroki's spirit.

Ziggy groans with pleasure as the light of thier spirits mingle at the surface.

"Hmm..." Ziggy wonders if he should tru to manifest a bed or something. "Where have you always wanted to make love? We should be able to alter the mindscape to be there."

"Maybe... I always wished I could show you the Castle of Lions. It used to be home - my first real home, really, though at the time I thought I had a home before."

Because I thought I was Shiro.

"But I think, the Castle... even if I was the clone, and maybe usurping Shiro's space, since coming to the Castle, I'd like to show the Castle to you..."

"And you know, it'd be fitting. Because the Castle of Lions is like me. In that it's been destroyed - you can blame that on Lotor - and its core, what's left of it, is what powers IGF-Atlas, too."

Hiroki smiles softly.

"So let's picture the Castle of Lions. I mean, I can do all the picturing, I'll just try not to overexert myself. And because the core is in the Atlas, it might even feel a bit real, the Castle, I mean. And let's make love there this time, why not. In my first home."

He grins. Because Ziggy's invited him home, and he wished he could do that, too.

Edited 2020-09-09 16:54 (UTC)

"Ok." Ziggy leans his head on Hiroki's shoulder. "It's very appropriate that two of the strongest things in you world have come together to make this... and as a protector."

"If you just think about it, I should be able to help you manifest it." Ziggy pushes back Hiroki's hair. "Then after, I'll take you for a walk in the Cherry Blossom Gardens in Kyoto on my Earth and lay with you beside the pond by the bridge."

His light pulsates more.

"Yes, let's go on that walk later!" Hiroki shouts, delighted.

As for the Castleship of Lions, Shiro's clone thinks, of course I can't pilot it, but I can show you everything. And I can't pilot it, because only people with Altean blood can. And I'm no Altean, unless-- no. No. No. No no no no. Don't let me make that even joke possibility, Ziggy, or I'm gonna feel sick, and Shiro would feel sick even moreso.

"See, there must be limits to black humour and I think I've just found them."

"Please, forget it."

To change the subject, Hiroki now begins visualising the Castleship. Home. He starts with his own room there. Fairly small, as all Paladin rooms, more like bedrooms, there. Walls. Bed. Sentimental personal things he hasn't seen in... how long?

"I'd rather keep my promise and take you there in the real world." Ziggy whispers as he leans sadly against Hiroki.

The mental ramblings are too confusing for Ziggy to make heads or tails about. He doesn't understand why it would make anyone sick. He isn't following along well, probably because he still doesn't know a lot of Hiroki's background.

When the visualization starts, Ziggy just offers up his energy to project the image from Hiroki's mind into the space around them. He may have to work at it at first to figure out how best to offer his energy, but soon enough he will be able to be the battery for whatever the paladin wants the space around them to look like.

Hiroki looks around, and then, from behind his bed, he pulls his black lion slippers. Because he imagined them there.

"I've missed these!" he exclaims, just giddy.

What? There are many sentimental things.

"I mean, I know it's just a memory, everything here right now, but still."

"Anyway, let's go, I'll show you around the whole Castleship. And then we can come back here."

He glances at his bed. Because, yeah. Here. But first, the tour!

"Also... thanks for the help, Ziggy. I don't think I could make all this alone. You're the best!"

Edited 2020-09-12 05:17 (UTC)

Ziggy comes to Hiroki's side grinning. "You know, you don't have to miss anything. I'd get things for you... even if I had to go to your world and pick them up."

He reaches down and takes Hiroki's hand. "Then let's go."

There's a shake of his head. "You never have to do anything alone, unless you want to. I'm always here to help you."

As they leave Shiro's room, the corridor appears as Shi--- Hiroki Shirogane remembers it.

He takes Ziggy's hand and squeezes it, tightly, just enjoying the touch. Here, he can, without any worry of hurting Ziggy by doing that.

Hiroki smiles softly.

You would, wouldn't you? Ziggy, you spoil me too much. And yet there's still almost nothing I can give you. Because anything I was and had in my life, everything I've ever liked, had then turned out to never've been mine in the first place. And it's not their fault. They're all great and amazing. It's only the fault of the witch's - the witch's lie. That I was who I thought I was.

But you-- you won't turn out to be like that, will you? I mean, not mine...

Thought somewhat desperately

I'm sorry, Ziggy. You needn't answer at all. I wish I could do something incredible for you someday. You do for me every day.

Let's go. Hiroki leads the way.

Sometimes I imagine that I'd wake up, and you wouldn't be there, Princess, because you'd finally realise I'm too broken, I'm too dangerous. And then I want to cry.

Edited 2020-09-13 05:07 (UTC)

Ziggy keeps their fingers twined together. He's always liked holding hands because it was so intimate a touch, like solidarity.

Those words though, Ziggy steps in front of Hiroki and places the palm of his free hand over his heart to stop his progress.

Hiroki, just because you like the same thing, or things, as your brother doesn't mean they aren't yours. You can like the same things.

He shakes his head at the comment before pressing a light kiss to his lips. I'm something that's all yours and never was or will be Shiro's. Everything we do, and find out you like... everything we find out about who you are under what the witch forced on you... that will always be only yours.

He does get a light laugh. You do something incredible for me every day since I met you. You accept everything about me. Maybe even love all of it, even the stuff that drives you crazy. There's nowhere I can be more all of who I am than when I'm with you.

All he can do is brush back all that long hair with gentle fingers. The only reason you'll wake up without me is because I don't sleep and I got bored.. But we're getting close. I don't know if I can but sometime I could be across the Nexus and you'd still feel me like I was at your side.

Can like the same things.

Huh.

There was a time, after death, when he wanted to reject anything and everything Shiro, in a desperate bid for own self that maybe never was.

That's... not how it works, is it? He still loves all of Voltron, each and every one of those men, women, and lions.

If some mystical self of his was to be found in rejecting all of it... then Hiroki doesn't want that self. That self would remind him too much of---

(Your own parents saw you were worthless. And I should've abandoned you, just like I did, he remembers hearing himself say, and the shock running through his very spirit at that. Who was the person saying that??? He hated that person, and he had renewed his desperate, worthless struggle against that person, back then. He had hated that person with all his heart, the person who'd try to make his loved ones bleed - in body and in spirit.

When he's realised that person was Haggar, everything made so much sense, he almost felt better...

He hates the fact that being what he is, he can, if anyone asked, say what things Honerva would tell Ziggy if she came and decided to keep no pretense. He hates those things and hopes he will never say them.)

But fortunately, there are no witches here. He, whoever that is, is alone with Ziggy, the rest of Atlas, and the White.

He almost chokes at Ziggy's words.

"All mine?"

He grabs Ziggy by the wrists and pushes him towards the wall.

"Of course I accept all of you. I love you. Ziggy, I love you."

He shoves him against the wall.

Then he blushes, as he wonders, audibly here in own spirit mindscape, if Ziggy's up for rough treatment right now. He can let go...

"All yours." Ziggy repeats.

He can't help the wave of surprise when his wrists are grabbed and he's shoved. They had been just in a very intimate and gentle discussion.

"I love you too." The words are cut off when he hits the wall. The confused surprise fades away to a moan of pleasure. He had fantasized about this kind of treatment before, deep in the recesses of his mind because in the real world he can't have it. All he can do there is revel in the fact that any show of strength gets him hot.

Here though.... "Don't stop." He all but begs when Hiroki pauses. He hadn't though about this being an option presented by the mindscape. Smiling a biting his lip, Ziggy struggles a little against the hold on his wrists. He's more flirting than trying to get away, something that is abundantly clear in this place.

Well, this is intimate, too. And something Hiroki's given up on in reality, once he's learnt that Ziggy, physically, isn't just like a human or some physically tough aliens.

Here, thogh - they could do anything.

He's just not sure if - but then Ziggy asks him, and everything's alright.

Hiroki grins.

Still not letting go, he leans closer, then lets go of one of Ziggy's hand only to kiss the palm of it passionately.

I think... you once said that you need me. Do you still need me? How much?

Maybe Hiroki will be embarassed later. But he does want to feel needed.

Ziggy feels his knees go weak from that kiss. Instantly, his palms are wet and his breathing speeds up.

I always need you. Ziggy whispers, tugging a little at his still pinned arm to start kissing Hiroki's neck and shoulder. I need your love, your touch, your warmth, your acceptance.... and right now... I need... I want you to take me. I want you to let go, love me without any worries or restraint.

Ziggy's emotions are amping up, getting loud, euphoric and pleading.

Yes. Yes, yes.

Hiroki isn't somebody who does drugs, he's not interested in them.

But hearing all this is like a huge blow. In a good way.

Hiroki moans at the kiss.

Then pushes Ziggy to the floor, and, on him, starts kissing and biting him anywhere and everywhere. Like he wants Ziggy to feel him on his whole body... er, spirit.

Ziggy does understand that his presence is addictive, like drugs, and he certainly will do everything in his power to make sure Hiroki stays hopelessly addicted.

Once pushed to the floor he starts to squirm. He can't help it under the assaults of kisses and bites. Eventually, he gets his hands on Hiroki's hair, twisting his fingers into the softeness as he's slowly reduced to little whimpers and moans of pleasure. His emotions, and here in the spirit realm even his body, is bright with love and arousal.

"Suck me." He begs. "Please." Usually Ziggy wants to give oral, and be submissive. Though here, pinned to the ground and under a rain of physical sensation the request feels more submissive than the act will be. Maybe it is the begging tone of voice.

Maybe it is.

"Ziggy, yeah--"

Hmm. This is nice. He can go with this. And the hair pulling is as always a great addition, somehow, too, though he's never sure why. But he enjoys it. So much so that-

Anyway, he was going to-- right. Ziggy's begging. This is exhilirating, even if Hiroki might be flustered about it later, and wondering if Ziggy's alright with it. But later isn't now and now is the rush of - oh, so many things, all of them his own, and some the things Shiro'd try to send him to psychologist about, if he knew, and if a spirit of a robot could go to psychologist.

But Hiroki isn't crazy. He just likes... hearing this. Somebody so important to him actually asking him, not Shiro, not the witch, but him, for anything.

"Good Princess," Hiroki says, smirking a little. Panting a little, too, even though here one doesn't really breathe, in spirit, only thinks he does.

"I love to hear you beg. And, say, I'm still your favourite, aren't I? If I am, I can give you this since you've asked so nicely."

And he reaches for Ziggy's cock. Idly, he wonders if the one out there, in Ziggy's body, will react, too. The thought is somehow... so arousing. If he can get Ziggy's quintessence and Ziggy's body to react at the same time, then, well, this is really, truly, fully theirs, his and Ziggy's, this moment, isn't it?

Oh. He hasn't gone down to suck Ziggy's cock now. So he does now. Slowly. Trying not to hurry too much. As if trying to show Ziggy that he, Hiroki Shirogane, is still in control.

That's difficult, but he enjoys it right now, so might as well try.

Hiroki's light is pulsating. This is all such a rush of pure exhilaration...

He doesn't know it, but he'll, from all this when it's done, have healed his old injuries and scars from the Haggar possession during the fight versus Keith quite a bit, doubly so if Ziggy doesn't mind and doesn't stop some of Ziggy's energy being subconsciously siphoned off. Which, with how much energy Ziggy has, shouldn't be much of a problem.

In Ziggy's mind all of this is extremely healthy. Matching sex drives, the give and take that happens between them both in and out of the bed, the way they cling to each other and their emotions soar when they touch. To the hybrid this is how things should be. Flirting, begging, taking control is all part of sex, good and healthy parts of sex.

"You're not my favorite." Ziggy pants out in a tease. "You're the only one. The only one I love this much. The only one I'd let touch my spirit and mind the way you are."

It's certain that his body is reacting. This may not exactly be a dream but it is the same kind of mental stimulation. Those outside might think hes asleep and having an erotic dream. That isn't too far from the truth.

The will surely hear the breathless moan of Hiroki's name, as surely as Hiroki hears it here in the spirit realm when mouth and tongue come in contact with his cock. He can't stop the slight rocking push of his hips.

The energy drain will go unnoticed. As they fall into pleasuring each other, Ziggy's spirit brightens, pouring off emotional energy as he gets high on the connection between them. For those outside, if they came into the room with his sleeping form they would probably become aroused and desire to seek out their own partners or at least some privacy for themselves.

Ziggy dissolves into moans and cries of Hiroki's name. His fingers tighten in his lover's hair, pulling at him. He's getting close already, will be faster to get off here, because Hiroki is touching him in ways no one else can.

Yes, this would be nothing for Ziggy's boundless energy. While for Hiroki's own it's quite a boost, and a great help sealing the holes and scars in his own quintessence.

But all that is happening unconsciously. Hiroki's whole conscious attention right now is on Ziggy.

Only one. Only one Ziggy'd be that intimate with. And sure, Ziggy might or might not have sex with other people, but in face of that, what does it even matter?

Being where they are, no deceit is possible, probably. So Hiroki knows Ziggy means it.

Also, some part of Hiroki wonders if he's left Ziggy with some hickeys, before, with all the biting. Er... spirit hickeys? Maybe a few.

And then he can barely think anymore, as this is all just too intense. Ziggy is.

Ziggy-- ahh, Ziggy--

The bonus of being here is also that he just freely 'talk' here without using his mouth. Just thinking.

Then again, Ziggy is psychic, so they can talk like that outside, too, but Hiroki's not always thinking about that clearly.

I don't think I've ever told you how much I... how much I need you. Need you. Want you.

Maybe he has, maybe he hasn't. He can't think clearly right now. He's close to coming, himself.

Maybe they should've done this in Hiroki's bed in his room, why did they leave the room, just moments ago, anyway?

But that's alright. Knowing Ziggy, doing more in bed moments from now is also possible.

But right now, Hiroki can't really think clearly about all that, anymore, really.

Ziggy, you must- ahh- be magical Hiroki thinks loudly, because with you, I feel utterly alive.

So what if he's not alive in any conventional sense, anymore, in any normal reality at least? He truly does feel completely alive with Ziggy.

And you are-- Ziggy, you are the only one I love this way, I'm sure

Edited 2020-09-13 18:49 (UTC)

Ziggy has certainly had hickeys before. He's probably left them on Hiroki too.

Thinking about anything outside of this moment right now is not something Ziggy can do right now. All he can think about is the pleasure and emotions flowing between them.

I know you want and need me as much as I want and need you.

Ziggy doesn't care where they are. There's no shame to him in making love to his partner. He'd fuck him in public if he didn't know Hiroki appreciated privacy.

He can't do anything more than cry out now. Hiroki's name, a cascade of praise for the way he's touching Ziggy. The orgasm, here in the spiritual space where, more or less, their souls are in contact, is too intense. He feels like he might faint from the release. It definitely echos into his real world body. The physical orgasm echos through his spiritual presence as if he's had two orgasms. It certainly feels that way.

Ziggy lays there for some time, panting for breath and stroking Hiroki's hair. You're amazing. Everything about you.

Hiroki's glad he has. It might sound strange, but for him, this is a proof that Hiroki is himself, too.

You must've put some spell on me, haven't you? Confess it,

Hiroki jokes.

Because I'm utterly enthralled by you, Ziggy. And I'm not amazing. YOU are.

He's sweating and shaking in pleasure. And pulsating with whitish teal light. Outside, in the physical world, IGF-Atlas is shining.

After, Hiroki pants heavily, and leans into all of Ziggy's touches. He's very close to getting an orgasm himself and he can hardly bear it. He glances at Ziggy, trying to see if Ziggy's up for continuation. Right now.

Wait, he's in charge right now, isn't he?

He props himself up on his arm, leans in and whispers right in Ziggy's ear, "Ziggy. Ziggy, I want you. Now. Give yourself to me."

Ziggy can always stop if he wants, but Hiroki just loves making decisions right now and ordering Ziggy - well, as long as the Princess Ziggy's up for it, of course. Somehow, this is thrilling. And he thought he couldn't love Ziggy more than he already does, but on that, every day proves him wrong. He loves Ziggy more with each new day, it seems to him.

And it amazes him, maybe always will, that knowing all he does of Hiroki, Shiro's clone, the test subject of... Ziggy's letting him love him. As if all that didn't even matter. As if he was a person as worthy of love as any real person.

But that's because Ziggy's just that amazing.

I want you inside me, now!

Wants. Needs.

Edited 2020-09-14 08:23 (UTC)

You seduced me. Ziggy giggles because he feels drunk on pleasure. You must be amazing because I love you.

Ziggy's out of breath but he's always up for more. He can barely resist indulging with him every time either of their minds drift into wanting. Ziggy nuzzles into Hiroki's neck gasping at the whisper. I'm yours. You can have me any time you want, where ever you want.

He's out of breath and the dominance from Hiroki isn't helping him regain it. It's easy to feel that the demands are a turn on and Ziggy presses himself into Hiroki as he leans over the top of him. The feeling of love is overwhelming and leaves Ziggy feeling completely safe. Here, with Hiroki, he can give up all of his control.

Anything you want. Ziggy bites his neck gently. If you want my cock in you, you're going to have to roll us over.. or... you could just keep me pinned here and fuck me. I know you want to.

The Anthean can barely think, everything is just a flood of emotions; tenderness, love, arousal, desire, want.

No, you.

Ah.

A-ahhh.

Too good. He doesn't deserve this, he knows he doesn't, he never has, never shall.

But Ziggy wasn't stupid. So, what the quiznak was happening?

Nevermind all that!

Now is now, and now he -- he pins Ziggy to the floor, harder, and says,

"Shut up. You're being too loud."

And he lowers himself on Ziggy.

I love you, I want you, you beautiful, beautiful angel.

Ziggy moans under the pressure of Hiroki's weight. "Shut up? Should I stop screaming your name?"

Ziggy squirms under him because he can't help it. This is too arousing to stay still. "I love you too."

"And I want you." Ziggy's words come low and breathless. "...are you going to take me as your girl or your boy?"

And Ziggy hoped both. He's quickly getting used to offering over all of himself, all of his body to pleasure. It is safe with Hiroki and that is intoxicating. He's never been safe enough to just relent completely to someone else.

"Shut up. All of you. Both. Give me everything. You will give me everything, if you're mine, Ziggy. Prove that you're mine."

He moans, then. Ah-

Everything.

Edited 2020-09-14 20:39 (UTC)

"Then stop asking."Ziggy grabs a hand full of that gorgeous long hair and yanks it. "... and take what you want."

There's challenge in his words, seductive and flirtatious. The idea of just being ravished by Hiroki until he can't think straight is exactly what he wants. His emotions are so high that he feels dizzy.

Apparently Ziggy can't be quiet. If so, then--

"If you can't shut up, tell me who am I to you."

The yanking gets him giddy, somehow, too, and... he grabs Ziggy's hand, whichever one's closer, who cares, and licks the palm.

Tell me.

He's not angry and won't even pretend he could be, just focused, on all that Ziggy might say, and--- ahh, it's impossible to focus right now. Ziggy feels too incredibly gorgeous, and loving, and... everything.

"And I will take all of you, I don't need your permission. So. It's an order. Say..."

Of course he needs Ziggy's permission. But they're both safe in knowing that.

Edited 2020-09-14 21:35 (UTC)

"My...." anything he was going to say is cut off by a moan as his palm is locked. The words are coming as gasps. "My lover... my prince... you.. you're the one t...that owns my heart."

He's getting so aroused it's hard to think in words or even emotions or images. He's feeling scattered but he hesitantly adds. "My commander? ....." and then quietly in his mind. "My husband.. someday?"

Words slip away for a moment and he can only stare up lovingly at the man pinning him to the floor. His weight feels perfect. How thier bodies and emotions fit together is perfect.

"Please... I need you." How he decided didn't matter. Ziggy just needed more, needs the rush of the passion rising between them. He pulls harder on the hair in his hand, pressing his lover's face toward his neck and chest. His whole being is tugging at Hiroki with love and wantin sexual desire.

isthisayes?????

Hiroki lights up, no, everything lights up around them... everything, literally, here in the Quintessence of Atlas.

Outside, in the physical realm, IGF-Atlas, the robot, lights up like a crystal from Balmera.

Inside, Hiroki's feeling a bit oberwhelmed, a little tired suddenly perhaps, and weak in the knees, but infinitely glad and loving, cherishing and cherished.

The White Lion suddenly appears near them. Personally, in spirit. Well, a spirit is all he is. Wordlessly, he demands knowledge whether the young Atlas spirit isn't overexerting himself. And who's responsible for this.

It's not quite a yes. Ziggy really does want the whole ring and surprise part of an engagement. It could be called a place holder for an actual yes. Ziggy smiles and leans up to get a kiss.

Maybe. Ziggy teases with an ever growing smile. I'm waiting for my prince to ask me the right way.

Hiroki can surely feel it, the way Ziggy is fluttering with excitement over the idea of binding to him forever. Ziggy turns golden in response, shimmering like he is covered in glitter. Ziggy let's go of his hair to wrap arms around him, stroking his back. His forehead and eyes glowing. The Anthean actively feeding energy onto his lover.

The lion appearing gets a curious look and then a smile. "Mmm.. yes, he's exerting himself."

The way Ziggy is speaking is dirty, sly. As to over exerting, Ziggy has no idea but with the closeness right now he's pouring off so much energy that Hiroki probably doesn't have to worry.

So this is what's happening. And White would intervene if Hiroki was to be drained, but that's not what happening. No, with this now, with this new energy, but already familiar, too - it's not the first mating, nor the first sharing,m between these two - the very young spirit will gain Quintessence to survive and heal.

Hiroki's flustered, clinging to Ziggy, closing his eyes, and pretending White doesn't just right now see him in the middle of fucking, or rather, of making love.

He concentrates on Ziggy.

You won't be waiting long, Princess.

It's a promise. A promise to beg mother and father, er, yhh, Aletayria and the Major, very soon.

It's a promise.

Of course Hiroki will try to do all this right. It's the least he can do. And he dreams of doing it. Wishes...

So, now, he kisses Ziggy hungrily, no longer minding White, and pulls their astral bodies, their spirits, closer, close as can be. Which is closer than one ever can with two separate physical bodies.

Hiroki gasps and shudders in what he can only assume to be infinite pleasure, joy, and affection.

Not exterting... anything... you've just took me flying straight into the Sun, it's so warm, and so good, Ziggy... they say it's impossible to touch the sun, so why am I touching it inside you, Ziggy? Ziggy. Ziggy. Ziggy. Ziggy... love... my Ziggy. Ziggy. Ziggy. Ziggy. Ziggy. Ziggy. Ziggy. Ziggy-

The White Lion yawns, lies down nearby, closes his eyes.

The corridor of Castleship suddenly shimmers and disappears. Completely.

Suddenly, they're all surrounded by a beautiful landscape. Hiroki and Ziggy are now very close to water. To a lake, perhaps. This one looks like it might be a lake. They're lying on grass, that looks and feels far too vibrant and full of life to be common grass. Ditto nearby water.

Hiroki opens his eyes and utters, with love and reverence,

"What... what is this place? It feels so familiar, and so... so kind and so... so life giving. As if one could come back to life, here."

Not exactly here, as this is a projection, an echo of the real place, an echo called on by White.

I'm not wrong, Hiroki is now thinking softly. I've never been to this place, I'm not sure I know what this place is or what it's called, though it seems familiar, very familiar, but this place, it's life.

He giggles lightly and kisses the thing on Ziggy's forehead, and then, Ziggy's palms, hungrily, with concentated awe and affection and need and passion and desire and love.

Edited 2020-09-15 05:00 (UTC)

As Hiroki pulls thisr spirits together Ziggy feels faint. The way thier energy is pressing to the point it feels like the boundary between them is blurring. It presses his eyes closed but the circle of light on his forehead is only getting brighter.

I'm your supernova. Ziggy responds playfully as he basks in the feelings.

It is only with the question that his eyes open to look at the change in scenery. However, it is quickly forgotten when the kisses start again. Ziggy moans, wrapping his arms tighter. His whole spirit is wide open to Hiroki, vulnerable and bare. He trusts him with everything and falls into kissing whatever is close enough;shoulders, neck, lips.

I love you. the words coke with a flood of energy fed right into Hiroki. It's subconscious, the action of giving over so much energy.

It feels so good. And he trusts in Ziggy by now, trusts that Ziggy won't give him too much and harm himself, subconsciously, he's begun to trust in that, which is hard for him, as before Ziggy, the only one he'd share Quintessence with with consent was Black Lion, and of course Black did what Black wanted, and wouldn't be hurt by it, surely.

But Ziggy wasn't a lion, was, Hiroki thought before, a normal person, and could be hurt by such quintessence transfer.

But by now, Hiroki subconsciously trusted Ziggy even on that.

Besides, Hiroki's so open right now, and vulnerable too, and completely inviting Ziggy, that if Ziggy wished, Ziggy could simply take Hiroki's quintessence with no protest from Hiroki.

Ziggy was the pilot, after all. And... mhm... future wife...?

Hiroki shimmers, and continues with the kissing. Ziggy's making him so much stronger, and this place... what was this place, who's seen it...?? This place around them, so full of quintessence, even if it's only memory, is making Hiroki stronger, too.

He could almost believe he's alive again, even though he's not in Nexus right now, but at home.

Yes, yes, yes, you are, Ziggy.

You're more. You're so much more. You know... I forgot to tell you, but you have really striking eyes. I like them. They really fit with your hair. So, I don't know about you, but I think you look better without contacts. More you.

And then Hiroki's assaulting Ziggy with kisses again, feeling so aroused again, he can hardly bear it.

Hey, Ziggy. Do you think I'm alive? I almost feel alive again. It's so strange. But I like it. Let's come here. To this place. In reality. Just me and you.

Nevermind. I don't know what's this place's called, or where it is. Nevermind. I... you know... I love you. Surely you don't know how much. I barely know. I... I don't know. Very much. I barely know, myself. But if you know, Ziggy, tell me. Ahh... I like you so much...

Edited 2020-09-15 08:45 (UTC)

Ziggy crushes thier spirits together, his own filtering into Hiroki's bonding them. He wasn't going to walk away from this the same as he walked in. They were bonding, or Ziggy was bonding to Hiroki. There were no words for it, more intimate than sex.

And the Anthean just abandons himself to his lover. It's something beyond the physical control that Hiroki had so recently, no this is control of his spirit. A giving over of everything.

The contacts are itchy. His voice comes but it isn't attached to anything. It merely is there, quiet and compassionate and absolutely, adoringly in love with this spirit.

You've always been alive and unique to me. It was the truth because Ziggy saw so much more than others.

Then, suddenly all he can do is beg for intimacy, closeness, sex. It feels like if he doesn't have it he might just die.

I know. I feel it even when you don't know. I can always feel it... across the Nexus...maybe into your own world. I feel you always. Ziggy can't think any more in words. Everything comes now in desires and abstract images. Some are mundane. Lazy days together and dinner out. Others are more intimate and with bow bear his spirit is, things he might never say are there in faint flickers. The desire to have a family with Hiroki and the pain of realizing it is impossible for so many reasons. The way Ziggy yearns for Hiroki to be immortal, to spend forever with him. It's all there if Hiroki listens.

To Hiroki, it's like their two souls are one now, a closeness he's only ever had with the Black Lion, and with Atlas, but different, too, because with them it's platonic, and with Ziggy romantic, so it feels slightly different, too.

Outside, Atlas is shining brightly.

Inside, Hiroki's now busy listening to Ziggy.

What??

But Ziggy, you've given me family, don't you know? You, love, and Mother, and Father, and now...

Aletayria, Tom... and now, he thinks of Aletayria's... not yet born? little baby.

You've given me, no, share with me, a loving family, more than I could've asked for, so, what are you talking about? You've given me so much, I could give you myself and I'd still be in your debt, forever.

Hmm, I wouldn't mind being in your debt forever.

The clone kisses Ziggy's forehead again. It feels so good. But then, he listens to Ziggy's desires. What does Ziggy want him to do right now to him? Becuase Hiroki will do it. Will do it all. Here, he can.

A nervous embarrassment blossoms in Ziggy's presence at the question. It may be the first, perhaps the only time ever, that Hiroki feels shyness rolling off of Ziggy's presence. It is brief though and soon Ziggy is giving him a kiss, giggling. I... sometimes... well I think about us having a family... you.. I think you'd be a good father.

Ziggy feels so nervous that his whole presence flutters, the light winkng almost. He presses in, kissing gently. You don't owe me anything.

Ziggy didn't keep tally like this. He gave and Hiroki gave and that made their bond strong and made their relationship worthwhile. Neither f them owed the other.

Ziggy doesn't have any defined wants, closeness maybe and there's an overabundance of lust. The surge of energy and the way their spirits are touching has left the Anthean half mad with arousal. Surely, in the real world there's just a string of lusty moans coming from his sleeping body.

I don't owe you? Oh, Ziggy. I don't think I'd decide to have a flesh body again, for example, if it wasn't for you. Because what'd I need a body for?

But..

He smirks a little, half serious, half-playful, I think I'll continue to have a physical body for now, in Nexus, just for you. As long as you take good care of it.

Heh.

And well, it's sort of physical, what he has in Nexus, as it's purely made of Quintessence, nothing else, but it is flesh, in most of ways, just like if somebody brought together all the proper atoms to make water, in some not very usual way, it'd still be water, so... yeah.

Anyway, what I'm saying is, as long as you'd like me to have a body, I'll have it. I can even change it a little for you? But not too much, even if I can, because... because I'm myself, and I will look like myself.

He winks.

And goes back to the utter closeness and wholeness with Ziggy.

Hmmm... you can top now, if you ask me very nicely...

Father? You think I'd make a good father?

Hiroki blushes and his quintessence light pulsates.

I... I hope I would... uhm... I wouldn't mind having a child with you, Ziggy, but I don't know if I'm alive enough... I can't ask White Lion, Atlas, and Shiro, to just... make sure I could. This is... embarassing.

Edited 2020-09-15 10:46 (UTC)

You don't want a body for yourself? Ziggy questions playfully. Wouldn't you miss pressing it against me? He's teasing, playful from being so high on the emotions between them.

However, he does get serious about the idea of changing. Hiroki. I fell in love with you. You don't need to change anything for me to love you.... but if you want to change, then I'm here for you. Ziggy utterly accepted the man he had.. paranoia, fears, uncertainty and all. He was even prepared to live his life with someone missing an arm. It didn't matter that much to him.

Top? Ziggy looks dazed. He doesn't have the mind for it right now. Maybe later.... I like when you take control.

He adored the dominant, masculine stance Hiroki took often enough. It wasn't that it was masculine so much as it made Ziggy feel feminine and he yearned for that sometimes.

I do. Ziggy sighs and buries himself in Hiroki, whispering. I don't know if I can have children either. I might be sterile. I don't know. My genetics are a mess... but I would try with you sometime.

But what if I... what if I could conceive only with my old body? What if I can't like this, now, because I... I'm not sure there's...

It is a body, in almost every way, in Nexus, true, but if there's any genetic material about it, really, Hiroki doesn't know.

So if... I don't know if it's real enough... nevermind...

Real body, though he wouldn't exactly call it normal, the real body is what Shiro has now, and that's fine, by now. Real, though normal wouldn't be the right word, exactly. If it was utterly normal, it'd look like a toddler today, and Shiro doesn't look like a toddler at all.

Nevermind. I'm talking nonsense. Just... keep loving me, Ziggy, this is enough... I would... like children, maybe, but... don't worry, love. Your genetics might be a mess, but I might not have any genetics, in Nexus as I am, even, who the quiznak knows. Nevermind. I love you, genetics or not.

He presses closely.

I do love you. I just... I want everything with you.. a family.. everything anyone else can have. The fact that he's dead somehow has made that more acute, more desperate.

I will love you just as much if we can't. I.. I just want you to have the life she tried to take from you. Ziggy starts crying. It's frustration, and anger, and love... so much of it is love. He wanted these things for Hiroki because he loved him so much.

He meets the press of closeness, wrapping his arms and legs around Hiroki. Make love to me, please.

You know, Ziggy, if it wasn't for you, I'd probably still hate myself a little. And I would just think... that hopefully I can redeem myself, at least a little, by helping my family...

Voltron's team is his first family, will always be, and he knows Ziggy knows that.

by helping as part of Atlas. That if I do that enough, other Paladins will know I still loved them, even if I can't say anything. So, I thought, I thought that's it, and I've accepted that.

That's why... it's amazing I can now have more family. It's amazing that I can talk to someone I love, with words. It's amazing that... I have so much more than I've ever deserved.

But. Ziggy's now asked Hiroki to make love to him, so enough thinking, now, Hiroki will now do just that. Wait, Hiroki wanted to be taken as female, but, how did that work, again...

He takes Ziggy's hand, looks at the palm and, flustered, tries to remember what to do, exactly. Sometimes, sex with Ziggy is so overwhelming, Hiroki Shirogane can barely remember any details afterwards.

Shhhh... Ziggy presses fingers to his lips. You deserve just as much as anyone else. You're amazing and not at fault for what someone else made you do.

Ziggy slips the hand free to gently rest on Hiroki's cheek. You can ask. I don't mind helping. It's new to both of is.

And Ziggy does just that. Tugs a little on his thighs to get him to move up a little and straddle Ziggy, easy enough since he is so thin. Having the female parts in his lower abdomen at the bikini line instead of between the thighs does mean Hiroki is going to have to get used to a slightly different motion.

Ziggy starts stroking Hiroki, and arches up just enough to show him where he needs to penetrate. Better?

Ziggy kisses him and smiles. We're still learning how to love each other, what we like. You don't need to feel embarrassed. I like to experiment with sex, so try whatever you want.

I'm glad I've met you.

Heartfelt, and he hopes dearly that Ziggy can say the same, despite everything.

He lets Ziggy direct him to the proper place, and then goes to put his cock there.

Not trying to be too careful, as these aren't their physical, though it sometimes feel that way... but also different... and less limits.

He knows he can feel all this in thy physical realm, too, he can feel it, (if anybody will see IGF-Atlas during their travels, they'll see it shining, and somehow, Hiroki feels slightly embarassed about that, but it's fine. And it's hard to be embarassed here, in the spirit, with Ziggy at his sight, and taking in beautiful sight of Ziggy, so open to him, and of the scenery of... he knows this place, what is this place...) and he's sure Ziggy can feel the passion of this all, all they're doing, outside, too, it's impossible not to. Surely Allura would leave Ziggy alone, knowing he and Hiroki are being intimate in this dimension, so it's fine.

I'll try. I'll try everything. And, hey, I know I don't have to change myself for you, but if there's anything you'd fantasize about, tell me, I can just change for a moment and then go back.

For example, he jokes, not really thinking Ziggy would be into that, necessarily, if you wanted me to have a bigger penis

He giggles lightly, though also gets flustered. It's only a joke, while it actually is possible to do, and only a stranger would think that Hiroki's being vain or whatever.

And Hiroki just means, well, anything that Ziggy might want to try, temporarily, not fundamental in any way.

But all that thought is interrupted as he gets into Ziggy's-- what is it even called... he forgot... well, gets there, and...

Well, it's best to stop talking, probably. He moans, and grabs Ziggy tighter.

Edited 2020-09-15 17:58 (UTC)

My life is better with you.

That was pure honesty. Everything felt better with Hiroki around and it had stabilized some of Ziggy's wilder swings of emotions too.

He was trying to be pretty precise in what he was showing Hiroki to do with his body. Even if it wasn't his real body and probably couldn't be hurt, this experience would probably inform things in the real world when they indulged physically.

The comment does get an incredulous giggle. You're perfect, always have been....mmmm Your cock included. Ziggy pauses panting and moaning. Unless you want to grow your nails.. I like this feeling. He gently digs his nails into Hiroki's shoulders. He does have longer, manicured fingernails. He would even do Hiroki's nails to make them nice, in fact, that ends up getting projected as a fantasy... to manicure his nails and feeling them on his skin and in his hair.

Ziggy wraps his legs tighter around Hiroki's hips, silences by his lover's movements. Then he starts begging. He's already so close and surely in the real world he is getting loud and squirming around in the bed. All he can do is crush his lips to Hiroki's and project all the intimate passion he's feeling.

It's now like their spirits are one, and it's wonderful. Hiroki will do anything for Ziggy, no, with Ziggy, right now.

And maybe it shouldn't, he thinks, but the begging feels so good, too.

And it's not like anyone can blame Hiroki for this, he's tried to let go of Ziggy, in the past, he's honestly tried...

(The old 'if you love something, let it go' and so, Shiro's clone did let go, because he felt he'd just kill Ziggy if they stayed together. So he let Ziggy go.

But the thing is, just like in the proverb...

He let Ziggy go. And Ziggy came to Hiroki, time and again.

Because Ziggy loved him. Hiroki didn't make Ziggy his. Ziggy's... Ziggy's given Ziggy to Hiroki. Just as Hiroki's given himself to Ziggy. The bond.

Do you believe in karma? Hiroki asks suddenly. Every act of our deepest spirit, even every attempt of such act, is a seed that blossoms into a future that comes to us when we least expect it. It's what some people used to believe, ages ago, on my home planet, on my Earth. I didn't believe in karm, in my life. Shiro's never believed in karma and he still doesn't believe in it, probably never will.

Nowadays, I like to believe a chance to meet you, something so amazing it's like it could never happen to me, might be of my karma, too. Though that'd have to mean I've done something good, at least once in my life. Or maybe it's just that I've tried. I'll believe it--

And then he can't think clearly anymore. There's only Ziggy. So close.

I adore you. Ziggy

Edited 2020-09-16 12:24 (UTC)

Ziggy was in the midst of reveling in the closeness, his energy twining itself with Hiroki's and working on the bridge work for a permanent bond between them. It's a bond made out of love and trust, as it should be.

Though, then Hiroki starts to talk about karma. Worry blossoms in Ziggy as he tries to keep his mind at bay. He can't and he falls into a vision.

There's flashes of war, famine, disease, riots, death, everything burning. The thoughts are impossibly chaotic and jumbled together like looking at moments of a movie out of order. Then suddenly it goes dark and rushes back as a third person view of Ziggy on stage in his favorite short white kimono. There's a loud noise and Ziggy stumbles back, red spreading from the abdomen (A place Hiroki now knows would hit his heart). He's been shot and as he falls people from the crowd grab him, drag him off the stage and start beating him. The pain feels real. It's so loud and excruciating. Then it's gone. More flashes of Tom dying of alcohol poisoning, his mother fading in grief with a young red haired girl crying in her lap. Images are coming faster and faster.

Like a light switch everything stops, Ziggy disappears from the spirit realm and wakes in a full blood curdling scream. He's panting, sweating and fearful. He can't think for a moment as he tries to shake the after effects.

Hiroki?? his mind reaches out like a scared child. He doesn't even know where he is yet. His mind can't process that yet.

Ziggy's sitting in one of the pilot seats at the bridge.

Atlas immediately reaches out to him. To his mind. Wordlessly questioning Ziggy's anxiety.

At least Atlas is a little familiar to Ziggy already.

It takes Ziggy a moment to even realize that someone is trying to communicate.

I had another round of visions. Ziggy admits to the presence he is starting to recognize as the ship. It was hard to separate the three at first. I have them sometimes about my death. Is Hiroki alright? I can come back in a few minutes. I don't have the focus.

And he didn't. He felt hopelessly scattered.

Atlas doesn't understand names, but if Ziggy pictures whom he means, he'll get an assurance, in ideas and emotions, that Hiroki hasn't left.

Images come with the name as do feeling. He is glas Hiroki is doing well but he focuses on regaining himself.

Once he does, he sits back in the chair, closes his eyes, and reaches back out to the mindspace. He will reappear but dim, dull. it's not from any sort of energy drain but from a desire to hide. He just wants to hide from dying. Maybe he would have been ok wit the exchange when he first arrived but now, now he isn't. He wants to live and stay alive.

Hiroki?? His senses are still a little scrambled and he's not sure where to go to find his partner.

Hiroki appears nearby, runs to Ziggy and pulls him into a tight, warm hug.

Edited 2020-09-16 14:16 (UTC)

I'm sorry. He clings to Hiroki and his mental age is showing, just how young Ziggy is to his own kind. I can't control when they happen/

The space is almost empty, it's dark as if one went outside one's home during a new moon.

The only lights - them, both of them.

Well, not much light in Ziggy's case, apparently.

I'm here for you, Ziggy. I'll never give up on you. I'll always be here for you. It won't change any futures, but-- I'll never give up on you. So, come to me, whenever. Please. I know it's not--- but it's all I have, all I can offer.

A flicker of the brightness returns and Ziggy presses a warm and needy kiss to Hiroki's lips.

You're enough. Just like this. You are everything I need.

Ziggy would prefer more but he had to admit he wasn't lacking happiness. Sometimes he was frustrated or disappointed about things they couldn't do or share but deep inside he's happy.

But, why now... is it something I've said? Forgive me-

Oh. Oh. That kiss. Kissing was the last thing he thought would be on Ziggy's mind, right now. But - it's good.

Hiroki returns the kiss, responds to it, gently, slowly, pouring his loyalty to Ziggy into it. Will always be by Ziggy's side. Always.

I'm far from being everything for... but I'm here. For you. So that you know you're the most important. And wanted. And beautiful. That you're a miracle. That you're one of the Knights of Light, because realities aren't only darkness. If they were, there'd've been no light left, millenias ago. One of-- Or not a knight, if you prefer something else. Whatever. Of Light. And that you're alive. I'll be here. For you. With you. I know it's hard, but... Never forget. I won't give up on you. No matter what happens to us.

He kisses Ziggy again. Loyalty. Friendship. Love. Faith. Desire. Poured into the kiss.

I don't know why they happen.

Ziggy pulled Hiroki into that kiss, desperate for it. He almost wants to make love again, not for sexual satisfaction but the comfort he finds in the closeness.

And I am here for you. Ziggy pulls back from the kiss, the golden light slowly increasing as he gazes on Hiroki. No matter what form you have, I'll love you. Until the end of everything, I'm yours. No matter what happens, who is around, none of it will change that.

He presses a kiss to Hiroki's forehead, gentle and warm like the light. Hiroki might feel it, the first true flickers of a permanent and stable bond between their minds. You're enough for me.

No matter the form? Oh, you didn't just call Atlas ugly, have you? How rude!

The teasing is full of affection.

Hiroki leans wholly into the kiss and lights up more, shimmering brightly.

And as he feels the hint of the bond, the 'space' brightens up, and slowly, 'Earth' appears as well.

Quite a brightly shining Earth, if one looks. Just like how water can seem to be shining brightly, sparkling in the sun - this Earth is shining like that, even though there's no sun on in this space, doesn't seem to be.

If so, then... Ziggy. I'm yours.

And for him of all people, it's not something he'd ever say lightly. Not something he'd ever say without thinking. He means it.

And just thinking it proves how enormous his trust in Ziggy is, by now.

Trust, knowing... trust that Ziggy won't abuse the bond.

Next to you..mmmmm....everything struggles to look attractive. He teases back.

Ziggy presses thier bodies, thier spirits together, rubbing against his lover cat-like. He knows the trust because he is showing the same kind of trust. The trust that leaves you bare and vulnerable but hopeful.

Anthea has joined Earth in the sky and th darkness fades, replaced by a view of a Japanese bridge while they stand on a path hung in cherry blossoms. They're in one of Ziggy's memories now. This place is full of hope and love. It is from just a week or so after he arrived on Earth and some of the first moments he had alone with his father since he was a boy.

Shiro's clone presses closely, too, that is, until-

Oh... is this...

You've kept your promise to take me on a walk. Let's go!

So childishly delighted. And shining like a lightbulb. Well, a tealish lightbulb?

Let's see, let's look around and I'll tell you if I've been here before, Princess!

Ziggy takes his hand and smiles, the light if his own brightened. I promised to take you here before today. I wish I could for real but memories are the best I can do now.

There's a sadness to his words but it turns to happiness as he pulls the smell of the blossoms out of the memory. The experience probably more intense than a human would have, same with the colors. The colors are richer and more vibrant because these are memories from an Anthean's senses.

I'm at you command, lover.

I won't let you die, Ziggy, he thinks, suddenly, just overwhelmed with all the emotions. Maybe he could stop himself from saying it right now, but not from thinking it. So he's thought it, loudly. Oops.

Then, because surely he's said, er, thought enough, he starts looking around to see where exactly they are.

Wait. I don't undertand. Oh-- I know!

Because he's looked through Black's eyes before. And more recently, through Atlas's.

This is the world through your eyes! Ha, I've wanted to see it.

And I won't let you die... well if I can intervene. I know you're dead, technically, but I can keep your spirit well. It was complicated and he hopes Hiroki understands what he means.

Ziggy laughs and leans against his shoulder, squeezing his hand. This is only the visible light spectrum. I see more than this but I didn't want to overwhelm you with things that humans can't normally see. I can recall all the memory if you want to see the world like I do.

Thank you. My spirit's in your hands. Well, if you're not tired of it. If you are, White can always help a little. 's like how I was still here. Shiro and White... er. Takashi and the White Lion.

Because that sounded weird. Possibly.

"Hey, you can try me with other spectrums, c'mon, it's interesting, hey. If it's too much, I'll tell you."

Maybe. I might be enjoying this too much too reveal if it's too much, even if it'll be too m-- oh.

Quiznak!

Let's just try.

Also, I haven't been here. Not right here, at least.

Anyway, I've seen through Black's eyes - no, quiznak, Shiro saw through Black's eyes... hmm. But I did see through Atlas's! I might just handle it.

"NEVER!" Ziggy gives him an incredulous look.

Ziggy nods. We can go slow.

He brings the Ultraviolet into the memory first. The centers of the flowers all dazzle. The pinks overlay with bright blues that are almost like lights, leaves too. The water reflects with the same blue shimmer. That is Ultraviolet light

Then he shifts and adds the infrared. Warm areas, especially where the sunlight warms anything turns to whites and yellows, reds shimmer around the edge of cooler items and purples shimmer on things that are cold like the streams. Infrared

Gamma radiation isn't perceived in something that is visible, but I can show you x-rays.

The color fades as Ziggy shifts his vision. Everything goes to gray shades even the flowers. He can see through the trees and the plants. Rocks and solid metal stay white but everything else is shades. Looking into the trees it is a myrid of dancing white outlined leaves and blossoms against black and dark gray.

Then he shifts back to all the colors. without the x-rays. There is a glittering, like rain or snowflakes caught in the moonlight. Those are the neutrinos and some of the high energy sub-atomic particles I can see.

He leans in kissing Hiroki. It doesn't effect spirits but maybe sometime when you have a body, I can show you what I see when I look at you.

Hiroki feels like his heart could leap out of his chest with joy at that. Yes. Yes, yes, never, Ziggy doesn't wish to ever leave him, now, and nothing and no one can't tear him and Ziggy apart.

(Except the witch, perhaps. He still fears that, he can't help fearing that, because through him, Honerva had seen Nexus, and what if she visits? Hopefully, she never will.)

"Yeah. Let's go slow-"

Ah.

This is all so... beautiful. Of course he knows about these spectrums, but to see the scenery, just like that - it's like being transported into some kind of a fairytale.

He loves it.

And then - he kisses Ziggy back, passionately now. Running his hands through Ziggy's hair. Especially his right hand, as if trying to make up for the lost time. Mhm...

Yeah, when we're back in Nexus... yeah. Yes, I'd like to see that. Speaking of my body, I'll try not to disappear like that again. I'm sorry if I gave you a scare. I think I must need to learn to... to better maintain myself? Er, it's a process, okay? But you've made me so much stronger, I'm sure I'll have no problem now. And... I said I have a body because you're here and I want it to be with you more, but that's not all. I - I want to live. I still don't know if it's right for me to live or not, but I want to live, and in Nexus, it's like I can. I think I've always wanted to live. Funny, huh, seeing as at the beginning there wasn't anyone who'd want me to, I mean, for me in particular, because any of those nearby would do just as well if awake...nevermind.

Maybe, he adds, half-serious, if I see myself the way you see me, Ziggy, I'll finally learn why'd you fancy me in particular.

And... he adds, despite himself, and solemn now, that unlike in my dreams, maybe I don't look exactly the same as hundred others in pods. Somehow--- maybe that's why I've always felt a bit uneasy looking into a mirror, even when I didn't remember. Sorry. Sorry, I didn't mean to talk about it, at all. I guess - I try to pretend I'm not a mess, but I still am.

He looks around again. This - everything really looks amazing, and fascinating. Like he's seeing the world for the first time in some ways. Everything's a novelty. It's incredible.

He gently caresses Ziggy's hair while looking around.

"Alright. Let's go see more of this place like that."

This will be one incredible walk, he's sure.

And maybe you could tell me about the time you were there, if that's alright? See, I've realised, I'm still getting to know you. I want to know.

Edited 2020-09-17 08:38 (UTC)

I.... I just didn't know what happened. I thought you died again... that I lost you, maybe for good. Ziggy leans into Hiroki for comfort. Just thinking about it makes his presence flicker. But none of the other clones would be you. I'm glad you turned out to be the one stubborn enough to be here.

Ziggy meant it. But the next comment has him shaking his head a little.

You don't look the same as when I first met you... that's what Shiro looks like now. Which probably goes a long way in understanding why Ziggy flipped out when they met. Every body looks a little different, even identical twins and clones look different to my eyesight, probably to all Antheans.

Ziggy gives him a kiss on the cheek. I'm a mess too sometimes. I don't mind that you have things you have to work through or that you need my help to get better from.

Ziggy nods. I didn't walk the whole park but there's a botanical garden here that I did go into.

He takes Hiroki's hand and starts walking very slowly down the path overhanging with blossoms. "Dad brought me here a few days or a week maybe after I came to Earth. He does a lot of consulting work for.. well for just about everything people launch into space, but especially exploratory rovers. He came here, to Japan, to work with a friend on a project and he was worried about leaving me back in the United States. He was worried something would happen to me."

Ziggy leans into his shoulder as they walk. "This was one of the first places on Earth I walked by myself. It was early in the morning, chilly and so quiet. I'd never see this many living things in one place. I'd only ever been on a space ship or Anthea, where there's nothing. It was hypnotizing to me to walk here. I spent so long that Dad came looking for me because he got worried."

This is obviously a happy memory for Ziggy, one that brings him a lot of joy. "When we first started talking about dating... this is where I wanted to bring you. There's a really pretty restaurant at the other end of the park with outdoor seating. I wanted to eat there with you and walk in the park here with you."

There's a tinge of sadness for what was lost. Ziggy can't help but feel a little sad that they can't do this in reality for so many reasons. His promise.. he wants others to see and perhaps that is vanity... he just wanted to make more happy memories in this place like it was a sanctuary.

Edited 2020-09-17 10:32 (UTC)

I hope I won't scare you like that again. If I'm ever again almost exhausted, I'll tell you, okay?

But here, right now... even if it's not in the real place, but in a memory of it, it's like right now Hiroki and Ziggy are on a date in a place that Ziggy cherishes, and that's great.

Hiroki can't help smiling as he listens to Ziggy and imagines it all, what that experience must've been like.

After, he thinks, Hey, I think I know where we can fly, after this, of course. And with how much more you see, it's probably going to be even more pleasant for you than for humans. And since we're already flying around in my reality, I might as well fly you there, to show you. It's a planet full of beautiful flora and cute fauna. It's where the Green Lion had been hidden for ten thousand years. There's so much nature there, I'm sure you'll love it. I can fly you to that planet anytime. It's just a really pleasant place. So calm and peaceful. I haven't been there personally, but I remember well, so it is, trust me.

"But first, let's see this botanical garden."

Surely quite peaceful, too.

He realises that he and Ziggy hasn't really had a lot of days yet. Or... well, maybe depending on how one definies 'dates'.

So all this is a great opportunity.

Ziggy can hear him quietly wondering about all this. And Hiroki realises Ziggy can hear him, here, distinctly, too. It's a bit embarassing, perhaps, but-

He's happy. And he wants Ziggy to know that, so, it's fine.

Hiroki giggles happily.

He also wants to show Ziggy everything good in his own Reality. That's - well, that's love, he knows. He really wants to. To share. Though sharing would be a bit difficult right now, huh?

Edited 2020-09-17 11:54 (UTC)

I know where to look now, too. Ziggy would probably still panic but at least now he knew where he might be when the panic subsided.

Ziggy thinks about what Hiroki is saying and at first there's a flush of excitement but it fades, darkens. It leaves the hybrid trying not to cry and trembling. I don't want to.

Ziggy's mood shifts perceptibly as they walk. His heart is pounding and it isn't for a good reason. The whole trauma of Hiroki's death resurfaces all of the sudden and he shakes his head. I don't want to go anywhere in your universe.... I don't want to go anywhere in mine either.

He does hear that Hiroki wants to go to the botanical gardens and turns them that direction. However, his glow has dulled, depressed by the memory that they can never actually go anywhere they know together.. not really. The memory starts to get stormy feeling though the appearance hasn't changed.

Okay... it's okay. I can show you memories here, later. Okay?

Because here, they can be together.

Maybe someday, Ziggy can go anywhere, but for now, it just might be too early.

But you know... since you're my pilot now, I'll even be able to see a little through your eyes, and the other way around, well, maybe not now, but later on, if you go anywhere. In the future, I'll be able to see a little through your eyes, in reality, if you'd like to...

And maybe that makes it better? He's not yet sure.

Someday.

For now, let's see that botanical garden. Hiroki squeezes Ziggy's hand in reassurance that he's here, with Ziggy, even if not quite alive, but he's here, and won't leave Ziggy behind.

I'm sorry. He eventually whispers. Mentally he's accepted their circumstances but his heart still hasn't come around. The part of him that desperately wants to share all of his life with Hiroki still feels cheated.

I don't have to be your pilot for that. Ziggy squeezes Hiroki's hand in return and leans in quietly. If my mind connects to yours, the way my mom and dad's are, then you will be able to see and feel a lot of what I do. We'll be able to talk at a distance too.

Ziggy leads them out into the outside gardens instead of the greenhouse. Like all Antheans, he has a love of large bodies of water and he remembers a pond in the back of the gardens with water lilies and birds. He's starting to even out again, settling into a calm and loving emotion.

You never need to apologise to me for anything, Ziggy.

Hiroki, desperately wishes he could share all of his life with Ziggy, go with Ziggy everywhere, do everything, but if he can't, he'll just do all he can with his beloved. Give him what he can give him, and try not to blame himself for not being able to be there for Ziggy in every possible way.

If Ziggy listens very, very attentively, he'll hear a quiet thought-

I didn't know what I am, and what the witch, Honerva, was doing, because I didn't want to know. For all the thousand of times I felt strange, I felt wrong, I felt a stranger to myself, sometimes a little bit, slightly too different from 'the myself' of twenty five years of 'my' memories, sometimes I almost felt as if surely my mind had split into two or I don't even know what - I've only told Lance once. When we had limited oxygen. If not for that, I'd probably not even say it back then. Once! If said more, if I did more, if I truly let the others know - things would've been different. I'm sure of it. Meanwhile I said nothing because - because I thought I was crazy. That I was going insane. I'm selfish, and I'm weak! If I reached for help, to closest friends who wanted to help me, things could've been different. I know they could've been. Perhaps - I could've even still be alive. Yes, that's - that's not wrong, is it?

Honerva wins only when one shies away from one's bonds with others. If I was alone, by now, I would've ceased to exist.

He then realises Ziggy might've heard all this and for a split second he wonders if that's alright, but-- if it's Ziggy, it's fine. He doesn't need to hide his shame for his inaction from Ziggy, because, well - didn't he promise to have no secrets from Ziggy? Well, maybe he hasn't, but he wouldn't mind doing so, in the future.

Of course Ziggy can have secrets from Hiroki if he wants to, this is just that he's willing to open up to Ziggy. He is. Slowly. Well, slowly for Hiroki, who hasn't actually lived long. For somebody else, this could be considered very fast. It's been a few months, hasn't it? Since their first meeting. His and Ziggy's. Or just a bit more.

For Hiroki, that's a big chunk of life, he knows now, and feels that acutely. And so many things have happened.

And he wants to open up to Ziggy, even on such things, so even if Ziggy's heard all of his thoughts just now, it's fine - probably.

Hey. I'll try not to complain anymore, I hope I didn't upset you there. I'm being such a baby, just complaining all the time. I'll stop. Honestly.

And then, he hears about the bond, and thinks back on what he's felt, on what he feels, beginning to form, and suddenly, all his worries gets pushed away, because he's genuinely delighted at the prospect.

(There are still some parts of him, unconscious, primal, that will try to resist, because of what the witch had done, how much damage. But those will quieten with time.)

With most of himself, he's simply, honestly, delighted, glad, overjoyed at the prospect.

That's great!

Because no words are enough, anyway. His light was dimming a bit with all the worries, too, but now Hiroki's quintessence is shining more brightly again. Not blindingly, it's a soft glow, but bright and warm.

He knows that bonding like that surely takes time, but he can't wait, he's so excited. This will surely be wonderful.

He follows Ziggy into the gardens and looks around, commiting everything to memory.

Such a beautiful place. He's happy to see it, even the memory of it. In a moment, he's surely going to tug Ziggy towards anything and everything that he wants to see up close, with sheer exuberant excitement, with no filters, there can be none, here, in spirit. (Unless somebody knows how to shield. Hiroki doesn't, and wouldn't with Ziggy, anyway.)

You have the best date ideas, Princess.

Hiroki playfully kisses Ziggy on the nose. But then, he blushes just a little bit, finding himself looking deeply straight into Ziggy's eyes. Not that he wants to stop or anything.

Ziggy listens when his mind starts rambling and then pauses, wrapping his arms around him. Hiroki... And maybe you wouldn't be here at all. Maybe she would have killed you the moment you believed yourself or revealed it? We can't know how things will happen. I've got visions of the future and I still don't know what happens to get there. I don't know how to stop my death or save the Earth. All I can do is what I think is right and maybe tomorrow I'll find out that it was the wrong thing to do.

Ziggy is opening too, even more slowly. He was trained to hide who he is for safety. Those habits are hard to break even with full trust. It will take time but if he evaluated the situation he'd find that he's shared more with Hiroki than he ever has with anyone else, and that is something.

NO! I want to know what you think and feel. I want to know you, all of it.. the good, the bad, everything. I won't judge you on the past. It's the past. I look instead at who you are now and who you want to be tomorrow... that man is beautiful and strong.

Hiroki may literally have to drag him away. Anthean love for colors, patterns, and life is a strong pull. He loves flowers, brighter the better. The heightened senses making them smell better, feel silkier under the touch. A place like this could hypnotize Ziggy.

Ziggy steals a kiss on the lips as Hiroki pulls away from the sneaky kiss to his nose.

You should let me take you out more. Besides... Ziggy grins. I'd be a bad princess if I did spoil my favorite prince.

Edited 2020-09-17 16:45 (UTC)

But I don't want to make mistakes. What if my mistakes hurt the people I care for?

Sigh.

You're right. I never know. What's the right thing to do. I don't know. And- if I ever hurt you, I want you to tell me.

Any kind of hurt, though he means emotional one, now, more than anything.

Because if I do and I don't find out until much later, I'll never forgive myself.

Ah----- Beautiful?? Strong??

And Ziggy's not just saying it. Here, nothing is just, only said.

Ziggy, you flatterer. Careful, or you'll make me believe it. And then your prince might become ruthlessly demanding. No mercy. If I'm so good, you might have no reason to look elsewhere, ever.

Of course Ziggy can look wherever Ziggy wants.

Hiroki hugs him tightly.

He giggles lightly, and kisses Ziggy's neck passionately.

Then he looks around again.

I like it. The world through your eyes. And I'm grateful. For letting me be a part of your world.

He grins.

You know what's your problem, Ziggy? he jokes, You're too good. One can be much too scared of accidnteally breaking someone so amazing.

Edited 2020-09-17 20:49 (UTC)

I haven't slept with anyone else since you came back. Ziggy admits. I... when I thought you were dead I did because I didn't want to be alone.

They both knew what happened when he was, he overdosed. If he was completely honest the list of people he was truly interested in right now was incredibly short, a handful at most. There's only one or two others I might consider right now.... I don't know? Can sex be platonic? It kind of feels that way when I think about it.

Ziggy giggles when his neck is kissed. Something about the emotional bond here made it that way.

You've been part of it since we met. Ziggy nozzles in. You better stay.

I know I'm good. I can tell by how you scream my name. He might be flirting but it is mostly affection. You won't. You can always ask before doing something if you worry.

Ziggy, I don't want you to be alone. Not ever. Being cold and and alone, it's too heavy. I wouldn't wish it even on my enemies, to be honest.

Hiroki's utterly honest.

And then, accidentally-

Ziggy might see a memory. Shiro's clone - he 'knew', wrongly, that he was Shiro, back then, had no doubts in his mind, only determination, pure determination born of Shiro's memories and conviction - landing, or rather, crushing, barely managing to do so without dying, on a snowy planet.

Said determination let him make one step after another on his journey through the snow (and to painfully cauterise his leg wound, and then make more steps), even as he was shivering and at some points wondering how soon he will freeze. But no matter. He was going back home, he wouldn't, couldn't freeze or get hypothermia. Step after step, going, with effort he thought might kill him if he's not careful, in the snow, with no living creature in sight.

Because, because his family was waiting for him. His family. In short, Voltron. So he wanted to live. He didn't escape the evil witch the second time just to die. He didn't escape the evil Galra the second time just to die. So he won't. Because his friends are waiting for him. Not knowing where he is. Worried. That's why- that's why. That's why, whatever killed many other animals there, won't kill him, he's decided back then. And that's why he wanted to live. His friends were waiting for him. Needing him. Possibly. That's why he wouldn't vanish in the snow. He had decided, back then, when the snow was falling on his face, and everywhere else, and he knew he absolutely musn't cry in this weather, so he didn't cry. Only walking forward, barely any rest, was an option. That's why...!!

Hiroki shivers just slightly and hugs Ziggy again, then glances at Ziggy, sheepish, as if he's just seriously embarassed himself. As if Ziggy's just, maybe, seen an equivalent of a baby photo of his or something, that might make Ziggy consider Hiroki weaker than he had thought.

People, Hiroki continues, trying to ignore the fact that Ziggy might've seen the memory of that snowy journey, they, no, we, aren't meant to be alone. So, if you tried not to be alone, back when I couldn't be here for you, even though I should've been, that's good. I don't want you to be alone.

Nuzzles.

How about, hmm, some not platonic sex with me later? You can then explain to me the difference, because I don't know it. I'll listen.

Half serious. Also... yes... flirting. Mind, he won't tell Ziggy not to sleep with anyone else (platonically??). He won't ask Ziggy for that now, ever. He will learn... well, he will learn, he's decided. Ziggy's not unfaithful. Ziggy is Ziggy. Hm. Hiroki will just learn. Somehow. He will. Besides, Ziggy is amazing.

Oh? Hmm. Does this mean I'm any good? I've heard my name quite loudly. It felt great. I felt alive.

Ditto.

Though there's always that euphoric feeling when Hiroki thinks my name.

If someone has a name of one's own, and not somebody else's, nor, even worse, a number, that someone is a person.

Everybody knows that.

I've fallen for you, Ziggy. More each day. Still more each day. Stop me or someday I'll love you too much.

He laughs quietly.

Ziggy simply accepts the memory and his hand slides down to where the scar is on Hiroki's leg. I'll have to kiss that scar next time I'm down there.

Sure he's flirting but it is also a reassurance that the scars and memories don't change how Ziggy feels. I would rather you. I will always prefer you here with me.

He falls into kissing his way up Hiroki's neck. We could have some not platonic sex right now, if you want. That was the upside of the memories. They were, after all, standing naked in the botanical gardens. Why not have sex there too? Ziggy suddenly stops kissing and pulls back to look at Hiroki with a grin.

That's memories too... if you ever wanted to know what it feels like when you look at me, or touch me, or when your lips are pressed to my skin.. hmmm or even better when your whole body is, I can share those memories too, I think. Maybe you'd believe me that you're perfect.

He leans back into the embrace to lay his head on Hiroki's shoulder. I've fallen for you too. Sometimes, I love you so much it frightens me. I've never loved anyone before, not like this...not.. where I've started imagining being with them weeks or years later.

Sure, anytime. That one's wholly mine.
That scar. His, not Shiro's. He's joking a little, but it's true. (All proper jokes are.)

And I'll be here for you as long as I can exist. Likely not forever, but, it's all I can promise you.

Though with Ziggy's abundant energy sharing, it might be centuries, truly.

Hiroki, slightly startles, replies, Y-yes, we can have some, r-right now.

He thought the vision was a total mood killer for Ziggy, if one could even call it that. But Hiroki's willing and ready.

To feel what-- ah- but that's so intimate-

He, to tell the truth he'd like to. If Ziggy's ready to share so intimate a feeling with him.

y-yeah!

Never?

This is new. Hiroki would never have called himself Ziggy's first anything, wouldn't presume.

Probably... he felt that way, because Shiro had loved before, been engaged before, to Adam, planning marriage, and so, Hiroki's mind would sometimes would sometimes, still, mistakenly communicate that Hiroki had, too, even though that was not right.

In truth, Hiroki's never been this deep before.

But he believed somehow that Ziggy must've been, and it was fine, obviously.

Turns out... maybe Ziggy-- oh.

I'm yours.

More firmly this time.

He is. He can be, because Ziggy won't betray him in that. Ziggy will never treat him like garbage - well, of course he won't, Ziggy's not the witch. Hence he can't be Ziggy's, safely.

It's a choice.

That time you're imagining, when we get there, I'll also be yours. I promise.

It's what Hiroki allows himself to believe now.

That's why I want to kiss it. The happiness is surging back and Ziggy's glow is brightening as he touches the scar on the bridge of Hiroki's nose. I've always thought this one is sexy.

He didn't know why exactly, but it was... on Hiroki. Shiro just agitated him too much to be even considered. That is probably a good thing.

Yes, right now. Ziggy used sex for a lot of things, to hide or ignore pain and depression among them. Just after a trauma, or remembering one, Ziggy wants intimacy.

Listen.Ziggy says quietly as he leans in for a kiss. Memories come with it. Ziggy staring up at Hiroki the first time he pushed him back on his bed, the way a human glows in an Anthean's vision.. in the purples of UV and the hot colors of the infrared. The anticipation is there, want desire and the complete abandonment to becoming lovers. Hiroki can feel everything, every touch and breath on his skin. Among the memories there is a very loud memory of realizing Hiroki smells good. Snippets of other intimate moments come after and all of them are filled with the one thought,, that Hiroki is irresistible to the Anthean.

The memories fade away though they are still there just beneath the surface. I'm yours. I think it started the moment you walked up to me. There was suddenly this incredibly beautiful man choosing me out of anyone in the plaza."

Ziggy just nestles against him, though he's not opposed to more intimacy. He can imagine that his own memories were probably very arousing to his partner. I'll be here too, years from now.

In love and potentially, eventually in mourning. Ziggy tries not to think about that but his parents dealing with Tom's mortality keep bringing it to mind. He does hope it is far into the future when either of them have to consider being alone.

He's getting... not aroused, maybe, for a human it's different in spirit, it's a bit different than being aroused, but he's getting the need, the intense need to give himself to Ziggy this way, bodily, even without a body, and, yes, memories from Ziggy are a part of it, now.

He's never seen himself the way Ziggy's seen him, but this isn't about himself, it's about Ziggy's affection for him, getting through, so stongly, this way. That's what this is about, for Hiroki, right now. Why he wants to offer himself to Ziggy right now.

(Of course, the pleasure involved, too. It's right now off the charts for Hiroki Shirogane.)

Be here. It's a promise. Yes.

Right now, he's feeling submissive, though with Ziggy, anything can happen, and Ziggy might change that, too.

He takes Ziggy's hand and places it on his own chest. Speaking of scars, he's got plenty scars there. So many that he prefers not to wonder, usually. But he's not thinking about it right now. He just wants Ziggy to know that Hiroki's heart is beating for Ziggy right now. His love.

Take me. Please, he whispers in thought. Any way you wish. You won't hurt me whatever you do, I know it. So, just take me, any way, Princess.

Trust.

And yes, they're not alone. Never alone. Thank Voltron. He's glad...so glad to be here together with Ziggy. He wanted to bare himself to Ziggy here. Wholly himself.

Edited 2020-09-18 06:11 (UTC)

Ziggy slides his hand over and kisses Hiroki's chest over his heart. The love he can feel right now is dizzying but he wants more of it. To be utterly accepted and utterly able to open himself to another is intoxicating.

He's so high on feelings that Ziggy giggles a little at the gesture. Hiroki can surely see the source of the humor being that his heart is in his lower back and the gesture would look much different with an Anthean.

Come. Ziggy takes the hand still resting against his on Hiroki's chest and gives it a small, playful tug. Though it isn't part of the memory there is a thick, plush and comfortable looking blanket stretched out under one of the trees. Come lay with me and I'll take you.

Ziggy is so often the submissive one that it is rare he is taking any one. However, he wants it here... the pleasure, the love, and the closeness... especially the closeness.

He'll lead Hiroki over to sit on the blanket and immediately start kissing him and encouraging him to lay back on the blanket. Ziggy wants to go slow and kiss everywhere on his body; slow and savoring.

The young man blinks at first, wondering, but then - oh, yes, he can. Hiroki giggles lightly in response.

Well, each of us here is a different kind of a freak of nature. I'm one just made from a human and evil magics. At least it's obvious where every part of me is. If anybody wanted to see.

Though as for Ziggy being a freak, that's thought with humour and with all the affection, here. And he hopes Ziggy's not offended.

He lays down. Follows Ziggy's directions. Somehow - hmmm. Deep inside, he'd almost run away, because, if he can't be in control, then, what is he- but, no. This is Ziggy. And, if he were to be honest with himself, and not the parts of his mind that'd rather run away, but other ones, he's been anticipating this.

He wants to know - about Ziggy, sometimes, he feels, like he wants to know everything. And so, this, too.

He wasn't expecting the blanket, but it's nice. Hiroki slowly lies down as he's happily losing himself, or maybe finding, in Ziggy's series of kisses.

Somebody's thorough. Are you saying you love all of me?

Softly. And he tries not to laugh. It's just - just happiness, relief, he's sure Ziggy will understand.

Ziggy's not used to being the top. HIs preference is to be the one taken but for Hiroki he will be anything needed to bring him happiness and satisfy his desires. As a top, he's gentle, attentive, and loving.

Some parts more than others. He accentuates the words by licking Hiroki's cock. .. but I do love all of you.

He bites his chest on the way up, sharp teeth just brushing against his skin. What do you like or want to try?

Ziggy bites him again and then presses lips together, gentle bites on those too. Ziggy is ready to have sex, could right now, but he loves foreplay and the feeling of his lover's body. There's no reason not to indulge.

Hiroki sighs happily. He's utterly enjoying the affectionate indulgence. He gladly returns all the kisses. Ah-

I love all of you. But you know that already.

And then the question. However, he wonders what could see possibly want for, when Ziggy's already doing everything with so much feeling-

Surely there are things, but they escape his mind for now. So, for now, all else there is at the moment-

Slightly halted and sheepish,

Hey, Ziggy? I want to hear your heartbeat now, too.

Because isn't that childish? He hopes it's not.
He knows by heart by now where it is, so he's looking near there already, right now.

I'll prolly remember what else I wanna in the meantime.

Edited 2020-09-18 13:40 (UTC)

Ziggy is indulging in the slow contact between them right now. I even love the parts you think are broken.

Ziggy runs his hand down the right arm that has just recently reappeared. He loved Hiroki equally with or without his arm.

Any time you want. Ziggy moves to lay down on his stomach. Things are a bit awkward given the placement of his heart but he's grown to enjoy the weight of Hiroki's head on his back when he wants to listen. I can think of some things I want to do.

Edited 2020-09-18 15:33 (UTC)

I just hope you never have to regret loving me. I, I don't want to put you in harm's way if she ever again tries to retrieve me, I won't, you're too important to me, and-- nevermind.

Listening to that heartbeat, Ziggy's hearbeat, right now, it is so soothing, any dark thoughts are chased away for now.

This is-- this is the one he wants to share his life, well, maybe not life, since Hiroki doesn't really have that anymore, but his existence, with. And--

Idly, he wonders,

Where can I even buy rings in Nexus? Quiznak, I haven't seen any jewelry shop.

The clone's so busy indulging in the closeness of his Ziggy, and thinking, that he hasn't even realised yet that in instance, Ziggy can hear him, too.

And he probably wouldn't mind much, even if he realised. Being able to love and be loved back, without any darkness in the way now, it feels like a victory.

Hiroki smiles.

Ah? I'm open to any ideas, Ziggy.

Anything. He's not quite sure there is anything he wouldn't do, with Ziggy.

There probably are things he wouldn't do. But he won't think about it, and he's certain by now that Ziggy wouldn't ask, either.

When did you first want to be with me, more than for a little bit?

Hiroki asks suddenly, in thought, then immediately adds, more in feeling than in thought, that it's fine, Ziggy needn't say if he doesn't want to. Hiroki doesn't want to pry if it's not - if he's not welcome to do so.

Edited 2020-09-19 06:23 (UTC)

I don't regret being with you... but if she comes back you should let me help. I have driven her away before.

Ziggy settles in the Hiroki's weight on his back. It feels good, amazing to just let someone listen to his heart and to be able to trust someone to know where it is, know that it means he's alien. The closeness is quickly increasing his desire for physical intimacy.. not just sex but also anything else; touching, kissing too.

Ziggy answers just off hand and not really paying attention. There are a lot of artists in the Nexus.

He's not really focused on thoughts until he's asked a question. He slows down his desires and thinks. I don't really know. Maybe when you tried to leave the apartment and I got in front of you to try and force you to stay? I think I wanted more than just a fling then...It was a slow process. I didn't think I was the kind of person that wanted a permanent lover... hmmm.. definitely when you kissed my palms that first time. It wasn't just that it felt good, it feels absolutely amazing, but realizing you could know what I am and it didn't matter and you didn't make a big deal out of my alieness...that was important to me. Ziggy shrugs and laughs quietly. Somewhere between those two days? There was a couple days after you started staying with me... when I woke up beside you after we'd exhausted ourselves with sex and you were still asleep, I clearly remember thinking I wanted to do this more, I wanted more of that. Maybe then? I don't know. Do you have an exact moment when you kndw you wanted to stay with me?

Edited 2020-09-19 09:21 (UTC)

I know you're strong, but... she's really strong. For example - well, you've met White, you could surely feel primal power there. It's ancient life... ancient Alchemy - there's not much difference, between those, in ancient times. However, Honerva's managed to kill White, because she wanted to break into Oriande more than anything- ah. right. Oriand. How haven't I guessed? That beautiful place we saw, that was Oriande. White thought of it.

And Hiroki loses the thread of conversation a bit, as he thinks about Oriande. He's glad he could've seen it, the memory, and that Ziggy could, too.

Somehow, it cheers Hiroki up.

Still, there's still a matter of-

Listen, if you want to fight Honerva, I won't stop you. It's your life. But I won't let you do it alone. Ever. If there's a fight against her, I'll be at your side. I won't her have you. But you know that.

He could inwardly curse at himself that during a conversation like this, he's getting aroused again, but it's Ziggy's utter, complete closeness that's doing it to him.

And truth be told, that's alright. Hiroki wants it.

A lot of artists? Good, he may ask one of them for something-- special? Well, whatever.

Something just for you, he thinks. Yeah, a ring's only a symbol, nothing more, but he wants Ziggy to like it.

Exact... no. Though, maybe- when I stopped being scared of you.

Sheepishly, he adds,
Discovering what I am, I- there was a moment, then, when I found you dangerous.

How could I know you're not like her? How could I, ever?

When I've realised that that's utter bullshit. When I've realised - and surely you remember what I said, how I said that if you touch me now, I...

But later, when I realised you'd never do that. When I saw your love for me and knew I'm safe in your arms. I-

I think that's when I knew. Truly. I want to share the rest of my days with you. Everything.

Ah--

I should't have tested you, back then. I was in the wrong, there. People- people shoudn't do that. I hope you're not angry I had tested you then. Thinking back on it, I felt a little guilty.

You're not Honerva, and my fears and anger were my own, I shouldn't have made you hear them. And bear them. I'll never do that again. Okay?

When you truly loved me then, despite-- that's when I knew. I want you.

Oh. No. He might come soon, he's so close to--- and here he was trying to talk. Well, no matter.

It's Ziggy's closeness, so intoxicating-- ah...

Edited 2020-09-20 07:27 (UTC)

I don't want to fight her. I don't want to fight anyone, but I will. I love you and I would fight her off or die trying.. for you.

Ziggy is serious about all of it. He would do it for Hiroki even if he knew fighting, and especially killing someone, would potentially kill him even if the person he was fighting didn't. He pushes those thoughts away and instead feels the arousal. It makes sense to him to want someone when you are talking about situation in which you might lose them.

He listens to Hiroki and shakes his head. I did the same. I worried that you'd be like humans in my world and hurt me if you found out I was an alien.

I absolutely think it is normal to test someone who reminds you too much of someone who hurt you or reminds you of how you were hurt. You've got to ensure you're safe and sometimes that takes more proof than others.

Ziggy doesn't get this paranoia about testing his loyalty or kindness. However, emotions are overwhelming thought. Ziggy moans and a wave of inviting emotions echos off of him.

You don't have to hold back. You can have me, ask me for anything... anytime you want. I'll always help when you want pleasure.

This is still safer ground in Ziggy's mind. He's still so much more comfortable with physical affection and sex than he is with the emotions. However, discomfort doesn't mean he's going to stop any of them.

You're kind. I--

No, no more thoughts, he just wants to lose himself in Ziggy now, he clings to Ziggy with all of himself, just whispering Ziggy's name in his deepest thoughts and emotions.

Ziggy can only gasp at the feelings coming off of his partner. The want is intoxicating and subtlety Ziggy starts tugging at that desire.

If you want me... I'm always yours. All you have to do is come make love to me.

This is another moment where Ziggy is lost and the only way he knows to respond to the outpouring of love, and express his own emotions, is sex.

He can't help it, he has an erection right now. He wasn't even sure it's possible like this, here, but of course it's possible in his mind, because, right now--

Hiroki just wants Ziggy. Right now. Closer. Closer-

Yes- please-

And he won't be embarassed that Ziggy sees just how much Ziggy desires him, because Ziggy knows that already.

He can only hope that out there in the world, they won't crush into some planet or some star, but right now, he can't bring himself to think about it much, now.

Ziggy's own wants mirror Hiroki's. He rolls over under Hiroki and looks up at him with eyes full of adoration and pleading. Though unspoken, the desire to be taken roughly is there in the Anthean's emotions and desires. Surely the human can feel it, especially here in a mind space.

"Please..." It's all that he can muster right now. Grabbing a hand full of hair, Ziggy moans as he arches his back. Hiroki's own emotions getting the better of the empath.

Hiroki wants Ziggy, now, more than anything. And Ziggy's desires get through their connection, too, so now everything is so much, it's almost too overwhelming, and he wonders if he's gonna pass out, before he remembers that this is all in their souls right now, so, what would that even mean, passing out right now??

He grabs Ziggy and kisses him roughly, willing himself not to pass out.

You're mine. I love you, Ziggy, and you're mine. Never forget.

There's no room for embarassment for him, right now, he's just going to take Ziggy as roughly as Ziggy would allow, right now...

Hiroki can be flustered about it later. Right now, the desire's just overwhelming.

Let me feel all of you. I want everything. And I'll give you everything I have. Always. I promise. I'm yours. Do what you will with me, always, I-- Zigg---

While still kissing Ziggy, maybe biting a little, too, he pushes his cock into Ziggy, hard.

Ziggy feels it too but for him it is about actual, physical tiredness. He will need to rest soon but right now all he can think about is the rough hands on his body. He moans into the kisses, pulling at Hiroki to get rougher. There were times in reality that he wanted this but his body was too fragile for this kind of handling, especially by someone as strong as his partner is.

I'm yours. Take me... please." Ziggy starts begging, pleading for more aggression. He feels like he's melting and then gives over all of his control to Hiroki. The biting is intoxicating. There's a cry of pain and excitement as Hiroki takes him and then his body arches into his lover. He wants this so desperately. Don't.. don't stop... please.

Why'd I stop? I've told you, I'm yours. Yours, Ziggy.

Of course he'll continue, after he catches his breath. Breath? Well, it's surely not about the air, but still. Of course thinking is limited that way.

Things are limited, and that's why, when they're limitless - well, he knows from Shiro that Shiro had to take care to make sure not to go insane in Black's Quintessence. Had to take much care in order not to lose his sense of self. Shiro had told him that, because now that Hiroki's remaining essence is in Atlas, it might, with time, be a similar experience for Hiroki. But that was after weeks, months. So, for now, Hiroki doesn't need to focus too much. Though of course there are moments when he needs to seriously focus in order not to lose his sense of self, that's true.

Besides, here and now, he's quite sure that even weeks from now he'll surely have Ziggy to ground him in Reality if needed. Is that selfish? Probably not, because Ziggy doesn't want Hiroki gone, either.

You love me, Hiroki thinks, right now, despite himself, with wonder and awe. He wouldn't say that outloud, but here, he can't help it.

But that's neither here nor there, any cares about losing himself or not, as right now, that's something to think of months from now. Not now. Besides, for all Hiroki knows, he might stop existing long before something like that might happen.

Right now, there's Ziggy-

Yours, Hiroki thinks loudly, now nipping gently at Ziggy's neck. No matter what. Call me, and I'll be here with you. Anytime.

Edited 2020-09-26 09:30 (UTC)

The begging wasn't really because he thought he might stop but a manifestation of just how good it felt. Then he realizes they're still spirits and the begging starts again. "Harder... please."

There's a roughness he's craving, to be taken and claimed and owned. Ziggy doesn't know why he's feeling it but he's desperate for it. He wants Hiroki to ... well he doesn't really know because there are only raging emotions and little thought.

His whole spirit is tangling up with Hiroki's, filling in and healing the cracks it finds, twisting their essences into a tighter bond. He will be the tether for his lover, the energy that sustains him if he must. Especially if recharging his lover means hours of mind blowing sex, cuddling and otherwise just indulging in the other's company.

I've loved you .. maybe since I met you Ziggy didn't exactly believe in love at first sight but if it did exist, Hiroki was the closest he ever got to it.

And those little love bites, Ziggy moans as his neck arches to make it easier.

I'm yours.. here.. in the real world.. anywhere. He mumbles the words between gasped breaths. THis isn't going to last long. He feels light headed from the sex and the emotions and the connection.

He'll try.

Hiroki's overwhelmed by now, but he'll try, so that Ziggy never doubts his passion. He'll--

I believe you, Princess.

I want you to remember, I love you. I cherish you, and I-- if anybody ever attacks you again, like they did in your home Reality, I'll protect you with my life. That's a promise. I will, Ziggy.

He's dazed now, close to losing consciousness, which, over here, means that the bond between Atlas and the pilot (Ziggy) is weakening slightly, temporarily, right now, and so, soon, as part of all that, Hiroki might drift away deeper into Atlas's infinite Quintessence in order to rest. It's just-- apparently White was right, Hiroki is overexerting himself, a little-- so he might disappear for a bit, deeper inside, unless Ziggy just tethers him here calmly, without much more activity on the clone's spirit's part now. Because the bond with Atlas isn't the only bond between the two of them, and so-- he might yet stay here awhile, if Ziggy... yeah.

Ziggy--I'm yours...

Yes, it sounds... right. He's still free, so it's not wrong. It's not something to avoid, even though he had avoided it, at first, because of her.

But no, it's different with Ziggy. He can give himself to Ziggy and still have his own full freedom. He can feel that, now. This is right, for him. Yeah...

Yours...

Edited 2020-09-27 13:05 (UTC)

The climax almost takes Ziggy's consciousness. Hiroki is not the only one feeling extreme fatigue. He curls into his lover holding him and smiling.

I.... Ziggy starts but the sleepiness and nervousness stifles the words at first. Though, soon they come back, quiet and drowsy. I'm yours. You.. you should ask me.

Not at this moment per say but Ziggy was feeling it distinctly. There was a yes lingering in there among the other thoughts. This was his lover, his partner. He wanted the others who found their way to his bed to know he was taken and happy. He wanted...

All he can do is hold Hiroki as he relaxes and though tired is still feeding energy into his partner. I love you. I love exactly what you are... and loved you even when you didn't know who you are."

He mumbles it happily before cuddling up to sleep. Even if Hiroki disappears he needs to sleep before he can wake up in the real world. He needs to rest.

Ziggy will probably wake up outside, in the physical world, whenever he wakes up.

There's a screen next to him now, and on it is written, I'll ask. Soon. I love you forever.

H.Sh.

Allura comes in through the door which leads to Atlas's corridor. She's blushing a little, and smiling in such a way, it's obvious she's stopping herself from giggling.

"I'm not interrupting any intimate conversation, am I? I only wanted to ask you, Ziggy Stardust, if you're in a need of a meal."

"I can also wormhole us somewhere, if there's anyplace you'd like to go to. You might not know that yet, but only Altean Alchemists can create wormholes in these Realities."

It takes time before he wakes up, rubbing his eyes. It takes even more time to remember that Hiroki isn't here. That's when he sees the message. His fingers reach out and touch the scream, running over the letters. The longing and separation hurts. It causes him to cry, not sob, only tears running down his cheek. He can't help feeling cheated but there are things he hasn't said. All the binding and energy sharing is going to make it harder and harder for Ziggy to be separated from Hiroki. He always wondered how his mother endured so long away from his father, now those thoughts were back. How was he going to live like this where a cold screen was replacing the voice of his lover when he wakes?

"I don't want anything." There's bite to his voice and sorrow. "Leave me alone."

He turns away from her to stare out into the distance. He can feel the happiness lingering on her and it makes his hurt seem all the more sharp. Instead of paying attention to Allura he asks the Atlas, remembering to think in pictures as much as possible, to take him to whatever Hiroki's favorite part of this universe is. He wants to see that right now.. or rather it gets him closer to what he wants anyway.

He looks back to the screen and types in it. "I'll be here when you wake. I'll always be here when you return."

Then he only wants to fold up in his sadness like someone would curl up in a blanket on a cold night. He wants to wrap himself in it, drown in it for awhile.

The Elephant in the Room

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Yes, he could distantly hear real Shiro talking to Keith in spirits after the fight. A little.

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sorry? he'll be back... XD I wasn't expecting this, much, either... XD

Well, just panic your princess.

Yup... poor Ziggster. Hiroki will be back in a few but just. Using this opportunity. XD

Perfect use of opportunity

:D

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sorry in advance. XD

No worries

:)

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